Heisman Trash Talk

Late start on the trash today. Not that it matters I guess since there is no longer any football on Saturday, save for the Army/Navy game (Go Midhipmen!) and some FCS Division One game between Georgia Southern and Old Dominion. But there is the Heisman announcement. I have no idea why this is even a question, but apparently there is suddenly a bogus groundswell to give the trophy to some defensive player on the fourth best (at most) team in the country. What is a Manatee Teo anyway?

In all seriousness, Manti Te’o seems to be a really outstanding young man. He is the first person ever to win the Butkus award at both the high school and college level and is an Academic All American to boot. Te’o is also one hell of a football player, and with the way he is all over the field and leads the Notre Dame defense, he would be a worthy recipient of the coveted award. But there has only ever been one true defensive player to win the Heisman, Michigan’s Charles Woodson, and he also was a very skilled kick returner. So, to win, Te’o would be the first defense only man ever.

By the same token the totally awesome Johnny Football, aka Johnny Manziel, would be the first ever freshman to win the Heisman. What are Mr. Football’s bona fides? Oh, well, he blew onto the scene and blew away Cam Newton and Tim Tebow’s records in leading Texas A&M to a 10-2 record in their first year in the vaunted SEC and a huge victory over Nick Saban and Alabama….in Tuscaloosa. Passed for nearly 3,500 yards and rushed for nearly 1,200. His total of 4,600 yards of total offense is the most in the history of the SEC.

Colin Klein of Kansas State is the other finalist taken to the festivities in New York. Klein was an early favorite but now seems to be behind the efforts of Te’o and Manziel. Klein led his team to a 11-1 season and a big win against Oklahoma.

So, who is the winner? As much as I dislike Notre Dame, Manti Te’o is a remarkable young man and he is the heart and soul of the Irish defense. He is almost Polamalu like in his ability to be everywhere on the field. But Notre Dame would still have an excellent defense without him. Johnny Football is a one man wrecking crew who puts up the points; he is everything for the Aggies. Manziel is the closest thing to Doug Flutie in terms of skills and excitement I have ever seen. If I had a Heisman vote, it would go to Johnny Football hands down.

Hey, are you listening to Dave Brubeck yet?? You should be, cause he is – was – some kind of awesome. Everybody knows Take Five, the quintessential jazz song ever. So I started off with Take the A Train instead. But you cannot talk Brubeck without Take Five, so it is here too, along with a completely nutters piece called The Unsquare Dance. Brubeck was one of a kind, and will be missed.

Okay, back to football! Of the professional variety! Yay! The game of the week to me is Ravens at Skins. Huge playoff bye and seeding implications for Baltimore and a great late season test for the Redskins to see if they are for real. This is what football is all about. Ravens are hurting, Ray Ray Lewis is still out and Terrell Suggs has a torn bicep on one of his wings. But Suggs is one tough cookie, cause he is from Arizona baybee. Bet you didn’t know Suggs was a running back in high school here, and once ran for 367 yards in a game (still the state record I believe). But the offensive side of the ball belongs to RGIII now. I think the Skins are gonna win this and make a run at the G-Men for the East.

The Jets will be in Jacksonville for I guess what might be called the Pathetic Tebowl; gotta wonder what kind of train wreck that will be. Sexy Rexy Ryan is going back to Buttfumble Sanchez at QB. Yeah, good luck with that. Drew Brees and the Saints may give the Giants all they can handle. The Saints are dangerous when people start calling them the Ain’ts, so it may not be an easy for Eli. The real games are the night affairs. Detroit at Green Bay Sunday night should be awesome. I mean, really, what could be better than a night football game in Lambeau in December? If the Kittehs can get enough players out of the clink on pre-trial release, they may even make a game of it. It may be on the Frozen Tundra, but the Cheese better pay attention.

The best is saved for last and Monday Night. The 11-1 Houston Texans and the 9-3, and coming on fast, Pats. The big news here is that Giselle just popped! It’s a girl, and I think her name is Veronica Lake. I am guessing Tom can’t make the game cause he is baby sitting. So, while Mr. Brady changes poopy diapers, Bill Bel will have to figure out how to stop Arian foster and JJ Watt. The Texans do not get enough credit for how good they really are on both sides of the ball. However, the Pats suddenly have remembered how to run the ball with Steven Ridley already over 1,000 yards for the year. Gronk and Edelman are still out, so Welker and Hernandez will have to continue to pick up the slack. Should be a great game.

And there is your trash. Take it out to play. Take Five.

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bmaz @walterwkatz @emptywheel There is simply a ton of criminal law in there actually. Kind of hard to get across, but it is in there. I tried!
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bmaz @bmaz Yes, here it is, a Storify recap of "Emptywheel's Parallel Prosecution Primer" http://t.co/gdn7Eb6QYx
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bmaz @emptywheel @HanniFakhoury Well, actually, I kinda been hoping @Atrios would get a Supertrain built between Phoenix+Tucson. #WantSupertrain
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emptywheel @bmaz FFS bmaz, haven't you ever heard of driving 2 hours before? @HanniFakhoury
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