Steele and Boehner Go Gangsta

Well, you just knew that the GOP wouldn’t take the bonecrushing loss in last November’s elections to Rico Suave Obama and the too cool for school Dems lightly. They were, like an octogenarian on Viagra, going to get hip. Or a hip replacement. Whatever.

They started by electing the rootin tootin slick dick midnight mustache Michael Steele as RNC Chairman. When coupled with Boner John Boehner, their ultra- tanned sensitive Minority Leader, this is a clear cut recipe for the GOP surgarific return to power. Let’s check in on their street cred. From today’s CNN Political Ticker:

Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele says his party is going to launch an "off the hook" public relations campaign that will update the GOP’s image by translating it to "urban-suburban hip-hop settings."

He added, jokingly, that “we need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.”

Steele described the new multi-platform PR offensive as “avant-garde, technically. It will come to [the] table with things that will surprise everyone — off the hook.” Asked whether that meant cutting-edge tactics, Steele demurred. “I don’t do ‘cutting-edge,’” he said. “That’s what Democrats are doing. We’re going beyond cutting-edge.”

Booyah. Get down James Brown and Fitty Cent take a backseat. Now let’s look in on the Steeley One’s partner in vice, Boner Boehner. Oooh, here he is jawing up the GOP stimulus position (yeah, okay, bad imagery) and his homeboy. What a twofer:

The stimulus has passed. In addition to voting against it, Republicans are all over the airwaves trashing it.

The leader of their pack is John Boehner, the man with a tan. According to him, the stimulus will not create jobs. According to Michael Steele, the new RNC Chair, if you work and earn money, you do not necessarily have a job. According to all Republicans who voted no, this bill, with terrible ideas such as helping states pay for Medicare, assisting our elders and our children, is a disaster for our country.

That’s right; the Tan With a Plan. Wow. What a dynamic duo. Crockett and Tubbs roll in DC. Oh yeah, and Sistah McKracka is going to take the toobz by storm. What could possibly go wrong?

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34 replies
  1. MadDog says:

    With their much deserved and hopefully permanent wilderness vacation, it is likely that continued cluelessness will be their only sustenance.

    And they eat it because they like it.

  2. R.H. Green says:

    “One-armed midgets”? Is that a reference to slot machines, or just to the “little” people? Maybe to the handicapped? Where do they go to build a new majority out of the dead-enders of the 20%.

  3. readerOfTeaLeaves says:

    Ooooh, wait!

    I wanna cheer these GOP Mensa on!
    Be right back after I change into the proper wardrobe to pay my respects to this Great Model Of American Leadership.

    I’m thinking my whitest, hippest Go-Go boots, some extra Dippity-Doo to make lil’ curls in my bangs, my fave bell bottoms, and some reallllllly big earrings!!

    Be right back with some red-white-and-blue pom-poms!
    Who’s bringing the Frito’s and the corndogs?

  4. Loo Hoo. says:

    Cutting edge indeed.

    He added, jokingly, that “we need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.”

    –noun
    1. the sharp edge of a cutting implement.
    2. forefront; lead: on the cutting edge of computer technology.

    I guess the plan is to start by cutting jokes about people with differences.

    Hipsu Bazu Teddybu Razu!

  5. R.H. Green says:

    There’s nothing wrong with the GOP that a good image uptick won’t cure. Just in time for the next election. Now if we can round up a few more o them one-armed whatits. Where’s Karl when we need him, doing his congress warmup bit?
    Too precious for words.

  6. R.H. Green says:

    Remember how intimidated the Dems were of the overwhelming Repulican minority. How things have changed.

  7. Hmmm says:

    They were, like an octogenarian on Viagra, going to get hip. Or a hip replacement. Whatever.

    Bmaz, you’re channeling BobDole™!

  8. pdaly says:

    “Michael Steele as DNC Chairman”

    DNC?

    Well that is either good snark or good explanation why our Democrats are not acting like dems.

    I like the graphic.

  9. WilliamOckham says:

    OT: Helgerson, CIA IG, set to retire. Also, will be sued by senior CIA career official.

    (h/t TPM Muckraker)

    This is interesting. Some salient quotes:

    According to Washington, D.C., attorney Mark S. Zaid, who specializes in representing intelligence personnel, “a senior CIA career official” is set to sue Helgerson and the CIA over what amounts to abuse of office.

    Mark Zaid is THE go-to lawyer for CIA agents. Somebody is very serious about getting Helgerson.

    Zaid alleges that Helgerson disparaged his client’s reputation in leaks to congressional committees and CIA contractors.

    “He violated the standards of his office and acted outside the scope of his employment,” Zaid further said of the inspector general.

    Um… “leaks to Congress”. Isn’t that the IG’s job? This sounds suspiciously like a torture proponent is pissed off. This bears watching. The suit is supposed to be filed in the next 30 days.

    • readerOfTeaLeaves says:

      Interesting. I don’t know what it means, but note at Wikipedia (assuming the info is correct):

      1. Helgerson was critical of Tenet and submitted a review to Congress recommending ‘punitive sanctions’ (2005).

      2. As of 2005 – 6, he appeared to be investigating illegal renditions, which obviously got him on someone’s bad side.

      3. Hayden launched an ‘inquiry’ into Helgerson’s conduct (2007).

      So many shark fins here…
      No idea what they may signify.

  10. Dismayed says:

    Oh goody, goody. No one beat me too it.

    Their reality is way behind our parody, Some one said comedy is not possible any more, and it’s true. The funniest fucking farce I’ve ever seen is these jack asses idea moving forward.

    WATCH THIS. All of it! It’s ROTFLYMFAO funny:



    For those of you who haven’t seen it major spew warning, do not eat or drink.

    • klynn says:

      Gunner you will appreciate this too…

      Dismayed, I just watched the link. My oldest is home sick with the flu. I played it for him and through the pain and aches of the flu he was laughing hysterically (even saying, “It hurts to laugh…”).

      I then explained to him that the video was even more funny because….and I went on to explain bmaz’ post about GOP rebranding, reading sections of the post to him while he was curled up on the couch feeling sick.

      I said, “So, this was spoof about GOP rebranding itself.”

      With a confused, serious, disbelief filled, genuinely honest state of mind, “packaged” with an achy-flu-voice, my son-of-klynn asked, “Again?”

      I wish I had the conversation on video. I just laughed over his response to the point of tears.

      He followed the, “Again?” with a pause and a quite snark of, “Well, I guess multiple rebrandings could be an interesting attempt at the avant-garde of failure.”

      This out of a kid who will be old enough to vote in the next presidential election. That’s a pretty good test market group response.

  11. freepatriot says:

    I have to take this oppertunity to recognize a mistake

    a few years back, when I foresaw the repuglitards crashing and burning, I flat out stated that the repuglitards would get vicious and ugly when their grip on power was threatened

    I was wrong

    the repuglitards have turned out to be totally incompetent at being ruthless and vicious

    instead, they truned into a fucking JOKE

    but nobody could have anticipated that the repuglitards would continue bush’s incompetence as some sort of sick homage

    • BlueStateRedHead says:

      Can it be that they have yet to recognize that the grip is gone? Every word said about bipartisanship which revealed they meant it to mean we dictate the bill, every roar about the mouse that never was, shows them unable to understand what both powerlessness and incompetence means. They reveal in it.

      Light bulb goes off in as yes uncaffenated head after Bush, they have come to equate incompetence with power. I mean, he pulled it off for 8 years. it’s the last model that worked. I mean, look at the current hopefuls: Palin, La incompetentissima Repubblica herself (modelled on Venice: La Serenissima, in reference to its title in Venetian, the Most Serene Republic) and Cantor, Can’t[get a fact right, e.g. about Churchill]or.

      They do not realize that Bush incompetence was a class not a party privilege.

      • BlueStateRedHead says:

        That’s they “revel in it” but reveal will do as well. Now where is that kettle (coffee being tea in this house).

  12. freepatriot says:

    the best response I’ve heard to this whole comedy routine is in response to another commentor who said:

    It’s not your messengers, Mr. Steele. It’s your message.

    which prompted this response:

    Could we shoot the messengers anyway? Nothing fatal. Maybe just in the face.

    nobody could have predicted that the repuglitards’ death would be a comedy, not a tragedy

    with a hat tip to eastside93 at tpm cafe

    ROTFLMAO

  13. skdadl says:

    Obama got a real rock-star reception in Ottawa yesterday, even though our PM, who has control issues, tried to prevent much of any public contact at all. People went to Parliament Hill to scream anyway, and Obama steered Harper back from the entryway to give the crowd big smiles and waves — such a contrast between those two.

    At the end of his time on the Hill, Obama had his motorcade make an unscheduled (well, officially) detour to the Byward Market, a historic area downtown, where he climbed out of limo, visited three shops, bought trinkets and cookies for his daughters and a beavertail (don’t ask) from a kiosk. People went bananas — the guy really is preternaturally loose and cool.

    When Bush visited, there were protests, bigger and bigger each time. This was a love-in, except maybe not for Harper, who was doing his best to re-tailor his politics fast.

    I try not to fall for the staged stuff, but honestly, the parts we could see looked so damned happy. Obama looked happy the whole time; people were wildly happy to see him; there were lotsa Mounties in their scarlet tunics, our neat GG (who comes from Haiti), and even the wintry scene looked like fun when the crowd went charging down the hill to follow the Beast as it drove away.

    I have no idea what this will do to our politics. I suspect Harper is hoping that pretending to be friends with Obama will give him a bit of a bounce, and it could, in the short term. But Harper is still very much a neo-con and also a tight and resentful little man. He is still doing mean things to us.

    Anyway, we sent your president back to you. Hope he arrived safely.

    • Kathryn in MA says:

      skdadl – Thank you very much for receiving our nice new Prez with such good will. To be able to see our Prez visit other countries and not cringe and hide my face is such a blessing. Thank you for remaining our good friends, and we’re happy to be back amongst the decent!

  14. klynn says:

    Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele says his party is going to launch an “off the hook” public relations campaign that will update the GOP’s image by translating it to “urban-suburban hip-hop settings.”

    He added, jokingly, that “we need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.

    (my bold)

    Jokingly…right…we are all laughing…really…inside…

    Honestly, this is the language of “rebranding” and innovative?

    Sounds like using humor to bully. Sounds. Like. More. Of. The. Same.

    I especially LOVED the “turned up polo shirt collar” on Cantor when he was whining on national television. THAT was political fashion avant-garde fer ssherrr…at least in the late 70’s early 80’s…

    How does the GOP find such gems? One thing is clear…The existence of an unmistakable “crazy” consistency.

  15. klynn says:

    By the way bmaz, love the graphic and I never grow tired of keen insight on Boehner…I have not found anyone in his district especially thrilled by him. I am not sure how he keeps on winning. Then again, it’s Ohio GOP election rules. He could win EVERY time.

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