August 27, 2010 / by emptywheel


Trash Is Back!

I’ll admit it. I’ve got ulterior motives for posting trash two weeks before the regular season begins.

First, I will once again be mostly away from the Toobz this weekend as I continue to experience the joys of moving. So I wanted to leave you with something more fun than CIA corruption, our failing economy, and Gitmo show trials to keep you busy. Hopefully, this will be the last weekend I’ll be entirely AWOL (though I might do something crazy next weekend and actually treat it like a holiday).

Next, I wanted to remind you that this is the most fun preseason weekend–cause you get to see things like the formerly hapless Rams, now led by Sam Bradford and his apparently healthy arm, come from behind to beat the Pats and their sieve-like defense, even with Brady playing most of the game.

Even more fun for the few of us who like the Pats but hate the Colts is seeing Aaron Rogers outplay Peyton Manning in Green Bay’s thumping of the Colts (yes, Phred, it is time to gear up for hubcap season).

Speaking of which…

The real reason I’m posting trash today is to share a terrible discovery.

As most of you know, I’m in the middle of a move to the west part of MI. I’ve been self-congratulatory as I looked forward to football for several weeks now. Not only can we be cautiously optimistic about the Lions this year (in the same way that, with MI having the best job creation last month but still being the second biggest clusterfuck state, we can be optimistic that things will improve, but not all that much). But, I thought, living on Lake Michigan I would have the right to root for any of three teams as the “local” team: the Lions, Da Bears, and even (because really Lake Michigan isn’t all THAT big), Green Bay.

Think of the fun of rooting against Old Man Geezer in every divisional game, if only to wind bmaz up.


Last night I did the math. Using means of transport readily available to me, I would have to root for Peyton Manning before Aaron Rogers:

  • Chicago (2 hours, 42 minutes)
  • Detroit (2 hours, 58 minutes)
  • Indy (4 hours, 23 minutes)
  • Cleveland (5 hrs, 15 minutes)
  • Cincinnati (6 hours, 5 minutes)
  • Green Bay (6 hours, 8 minutes)

Mind you, if I suddenly came into possession of a very big boat, then Chicago would be even more local (and I’d be even more bummed about the prospect of rooting for Jay Cutler). Or, if I suddenly learned to fly and stumbled upon my own private plane, Green Bay would actually be closer than Detroit (though tickets to Lions games would still be far easier to acquire).

So if I disappear from blogging and become a bankster anytime soon, you’ll all know it’s not really that I’m an asshole who hates real people, I’m just trying to avoid rooting for Peyton Manning.

In the meantime, some other potentially interesting pre-season games: The ‘Skins discover the joy of an injured McNabb as he sits out their game against the Jets. The Gents go to Baltimore. And two of the best pre-season contests for the QB job–temporarily in Pittsburgh (at least until Big Ben’s next brush with the law) and permanently in Denver–play out in Mile High.

(Hubcap image from liza31337)

Copyright © 2010 emptywheel. All rights reserved.
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