December 17, 2011 / by bmaz


Tebowling For Columbine Trash

Not since Michael Moore’s 2002 epic “Bowling For Columbine” has life in Denver been under such a national microscope. But even that is nothing compared to Tebowmania! which is running wild and rampant in the Mile High City. And good lawdy, here comes Mr. Bundchen himself, Bieber Brady, to town. That is a LOT of awesomeness in one city, much less on one football field.

Before we get to the specifics of the Big Tebowl at Mile High, there is actually a game tonight, Scribe’s Dallas Cowboys at the Tampa Bay Sucs, er, Bucs. DeMarco Murray is done for the year for the ‘Boys, but they are hoping Felix Jones will return to the form of his early promise and pick up the slack. Despite the deflating loss to Eli and the Giants last week, Dallas still controls their own destiny for the division title if they win out, including over the Giants in NY on the last Sunday. That is a tall order, but they shouldn’t have any problems with Tampa tonight. Game is on NFL Network. Oh, also, if you are colorblind and can thus handle the “grass” from Boise State’s field, the Famous Idaho Potatoes Bowl is on ESPN with a scintillating matchup between Ohio and Utah State.

But the game of the century, of course, is in Denver where Bill Bel and the Patsies come a callin. Despite the intense hype and Tebowmania! across the nation, the NFL and NBC have refused to flex the game to the Sunday Night Football slot. Apparently CBS pitched a hissy fit and Robert Kraft did too, because he didn’t want it to be any colder and more hostile than necessary and he wanted to leave town earlier in the day. So some people, tragically like me for instance, will have it blacked out (because the fucking Cardinals have a home game at same time versus the woeful Brownies. Bleech). The rational side of me says “don’t be an idiot bmaz, Brady and Gronk are gonna run up the board on the offense challenged Broncos”. But Denver plays really tough team defense, it’s December, colder than shit and at Mile High Stadium. Marcy has pointed out off blog that the Pats have a history of issues at Mile High against the Donkos. Just to give you an idea, Elway was 9-0 against New England and is going for 10-0 as a GM. Denver is the only team in the league Tom Brady has a losing record against (record is shockingly 1-6). The other things is, the Pats have a defense that even Tebow may be able to throw on. I have no idea in the world how this sucker will go, but it is, by far, not only the best game of the week, but one of the more interesting in a while. Baby Jesus is gonna have to play like Superman (see: Kinks video above; here is a live version from 1979. The Kinks are freaking killer; one of the most under-appreciated and most important rock bands ever) to win this. But Tebow seems to have the possibility and potential in him to do Superman like deeds, so exciting to see!

I will add a few more things in a few minutes, refresh and check back!

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