December 24, 2011 / by bmaz


Emptywheel’s Christmas Eve Mega Football Trash Talk

[Okay, for the most sacred honor and ritual, yes the meet and greet of Halas’ Bears and Lambeau’s Packers on the hallowed Tundra, I have cavalierly re-upped Trash Talk to the top of the totem pole pecking order until the conclusion of the sacred event]

Hey there Wheelies and Wheelettes, it’s Christmas Eve Day!! And that can mean only one thing; yep, Emptywheel’s Christmas Eve Mega Football Trash Talk!

Since the NFL decided to move all but one of its Christmas Day normal Sunday slate of games up a day to give most in the league Christmas off and with their families, we have a full schedule of games today. And, unless The Most Transparent President In The History Of The Universe decides to autopen the NDAA and spring the big kahuna of signing statements today, there is not a heck of a lot else going on. So, to the Game Cave Batman!

The biggest game of the weekend, by just a slight margin, is the battle of the New Yorks which, of course, takes place in New Jersey. Marcy and her family are already in a passionate discussion over whether this means Bad Eli Manning and Mistake Mark Sanchez share the same locker and pass notes to each other. This is a huge game though; the winner likely goes to the playoff, and the loser likely stays home. And it really is for bragging rights in New York City. It is a grudge match, and it does count. Big time; one of these teams is going to be eaten alive in the tabloids. I think it comes down to Eli versus Revis Island and Bart Scott and the Jet bruisers. If the Jets get hard pressure on Eli, Jets win; if not they don’t. No clue who comes out of this alive.

The other game nearly as big is Eagles and Cowboys. Iggles are starting to get healthy and gel, even if it is almost surely too late. They are technically still in the playoff hunt though, have pride on their mind and hate the Cowboys. So, another NFC East grudge match. DeMarco Murray is done for the year, and Felix Jones will play, but is hurting. Other than Jones, Dallas has Sammy Morris. If they do not generate a solid running game, Philly is gonna win this. Even though the game is in at Jerry’s House in Big D, I think the Iggles win it.

ATTENTION! Update: Oh my. My ears were hot, burning if you will, whilst I was away at brunch. I think I have discovered why! It doth seem I neglected to cover the big Kitties versus Bolts clash in Motown. I have thus shat upon both Marcy AND Randiego. Not good. so, here we go: Uh, the Bolts are visiting Matthew Stafford, Megatron and Suh, Suh, Suhshie at Ford Field. This is indeed a top shelf game; the Kitties have a ton of young, if somewhat undisciplined, talent trying to keep the ship righted and sailing for the playoffs after last week’s win over the Rayduhs. They need a win in their last two games to get there, but have to go to Lambeau next week. The Bolts are, improbably, making yet another save Norval’s ass surge in December. With the TeDonks getting circled up in Boofalo, the Chargers would be in the thick of the hunt in the AFC West with a win. A lot on the line, and two exciting offenses. That makes for a great game. Ryan Matthews is on a roll for the Chargers, but the Lions are down to a wounded Kevin Smith at running back. That is the difference. Kitties gonna have to win on the Tundra methinks.

It will not be on national TeeVee, but the Niners-Squawks game may turn out to be very good. Seattle has really come on hard down the stretch, and shockingly Tavaris Jackson is playing at a very high level lately. San Fran defense probably too tough, but this may approach a toss up since it is in the Emerald City. And, of course, we have another week of Tebowmania. This week, Baby Jesus and the Donkos visit the suddenly hapless Bills. Don’t think the wagons can get circled enough to stop the Tebow train, but Brian Dawkins is likely out, and he is the real glue for the Denver defense. That makes it a real ballgame; a toss-up if you will.

The other two first class matchups are on Sunday Night and Monday Night Football respectively. First up for SNF on NBC is the most famous rivalry in football history, yep it’s the Bears and Packers on the Frozen Tundra at Lambeau. Really, what more could a football fan want for Christmas than Bears/Packers on a winter night, with steam coming out of the facemasks like dragons, from the Shrine in titletown? If you look up football in the dictionary, that is what they got. I would say Da Bears might make this an upset if they had Cutler and Matt Forte, but they do not and I doubt the Cheese is going to sleep two weeks in a row. Not to say the Pack does not have issue though, their two most critical O-linemen are out, as is Greg Jennings. Still, hard to see GB losing this.

Lastly, the MNF game has some post Christmas firepower on tap for us. Dirty Birds at Saints in Nawlins. Matt Ryan and the Falcons need one more win to lock up a wildcard spot; the Saints are playing for a possible first round bye. And Drew Breeeeeees is closing in on Marino’s yardage record and Brady’s TD record for a season. That and home field will prove too much for the Falcons.

Let the games and Christmas cheer begin!

From Me, Marcy and Jim White, Merry Christmas to one an all, and thanks to one and all for your support and participation here at the Emptywheel blog. You are the best gifts of all.

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