February 16, 2012 / by emptywheel


Time to Institute the Random Penis Swabs

This is the panel Darrell Issa had today on whether women should have access to birth control as part of their health care.

Five penis creatures testifying about whether vagina monsters should be able to control their own vaginas.

Issa said he had only men for religious reasons. Apparently, Issa doesn’t believe women faith leaders are really faith leaders.

Sorry. I mean “vagina monster faith leaders.”

What’s missing from this entire discussion is that men, too, can use birth control–like condoms. And the logic of these penis creature faith leaders is that employers should be able to control whether or not employees spend money on birth control, period. Condoms, like the pill, are generally not free.

So shouldn’t these penis creatures be worried about their penis creature employees spending money on condoms, in the same way they claim to be concerned that their vagina monster employees use their compensation to buy the pill?

The logical extension of the argument of these faith leaders is that religious employers also ought to be able to make sure their male employees aren’t using their compensation to buy condoms, either. So I suggest they impose random penis swab tests to check for latex residue, just to make sure their employees haven’t been donning little rain coats on their free time.

That’s freedom of religion, right, the freedom to intrude in employees’ private life to police their actions?

Line up, gentlemen, it’s time for your employer to check your dick to make sure it hasn’t been using birth control.

Copyright © 2012 emptywheel. All rights reserved.
Originally Posted @ https://www.emptywheel.net/2012/02/16/time-to-institute-the-random-penis-swabs/