Okay, our prickly friend out in the desert claims that he can’t put up the trash thread this weekend. Something about work (uh-huh) and an invitation to go tailgating (more believable). And I’m thrilled to get the opportunity, because this weekend features one of the most awesome sporting events of all time, the long-awaited appearance of Lynch’s Gang in the WestFest All Ireland Donkey Derby. Behold the greatness:
We bring you nothing but the best here at Emptywheel. And with our head blogger holding dual citizenship in the US and Ireland, how can we not bring you a YouTube featuring a live donkey inside an Irish bar with a drunk Irishman hugging the donkey while shouting incoherently? Almost as good as “With a Neck Like a Jockey’s Bollocks” Trash. I am forever indebted to Iona Craig for tweeting a link to this video earlier in the week.
I can guarantee you that my Gators will not embarrass themselves with another loss this weekend. They have a bye this week and definitely need time to regroup after their horrible outing against Miami. I have no idea how Will Muschamp has taken an offensive coordinator (Brent Pease) who was among the best in the country when he was with the Smurf Team and got him to produce an offense that is a predictable yawner that never puts downfield pressure on the defense. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Texas will dangle big bucks to bring Muschamp back to Austin after they fire Mack Brown.
Among the teams without byes this week, the premier game is Alabama visiting Texas A&M with some revenge on their minds. Johnny Football had quite the off-season and got himself the huge slap on the wrists from the NCAA of missing the first half of the first game after he was caught signing thousands of items for sports memorabilia vendors. But that puts Johnny in the family mold; it turns out that he comes from a multi-generational family of grifters. Somehow, with credentials like that, you have to expect that he and Sarah Palin will team up at some time in the future.
But when the game gets started, I don’t expect it to be nearly as close as the pundits are predicting. A&M has put up pitiful numbers for their defense so far this year, giving up tons of yards and points to mediocre opponents. ‘Bama’s offensive line struggled a bit against VaTech, but don’t look for the Aggies to provide any resistance to Bama’s run game. Heck, Bama will also complete some long passes, so look for this game to pretty much over by halftime.
Elsewhere, Marcy’s Wolvereenies have Zip (that’s an Akron joke) for competition, so don’t bother watching that one.The game bmaz will be attending could be pretty good, with his Forkers taking on a B1G Badger team. That should be a very close and entertaining game. Look for the Forkers to pull it out late. And even though we SEC types get roundly criticized in these here parts for scheduling cupcake teams early in the season, I would be remiss not to point out that Peterr’s Fightin’ Journalists are whopping 30 and a half point favorites over Western Michigan.
And now some words from the head blogger:
Apparently Jim and bmaz figured they’d make me write the Old-and-Pro part of this post just to make me write about what a horrid display was put on last night by the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets versus Tom Brady and one 5’9″ receiver, Julian Edelman. I mean, sure, there were other receivers suited up for the Pats, but they mostly just dropped the ball. Over and over and over. Thankfully, the Pats D is not so bad as it has been of late, and they were able to hold off an improving Geno Smith (who threw 3 picks, but at least, unlike Sanchez’, they were mostly pretty, albeit underthrown, picks) for an ugly win.
Speaking of D, that’s what the game between my Kitties and bmaz’s Cardinals is going to be about. Because both teams have had great D of late, both teams now feature a decent QB with an elite receiver (though Spidey Fitz has an ouchy hammy). It’ll just be a question of which team gets to the QB more. Ultimately, though, I’m gonna predict a Kittie win in the desert, based on Reggie Bush (who had a better game than Adrian Peterson last week). It’s not just me who noted how much Bush improves the Kitties: the best all purpose back ever thinks the Kitties could win the NFC North if he stays healthy.
Elsewhere in the NFC West, this year’s most watched rivalry kicks off between the Niners and the Squawks. I love watching both of these teams. But I’m gonna pick the Niners — not because Kap will play better than Wilson, not because their D will out-hit the Squawk’s D, but because Niners have already figured out that you win with Anquan Boldin.
Which brings us finally to the game of the week, Manning Bowl in the Meadowlands. A guy who tied an NFL record for TD passes last week (yeah, I still think he’ll look noodle-armed by the end of the year) against a guy who looked like shit (but almost pulled out a win anyway). If this game were later in the year — and Jason Pierre Paul had more time to heal and Peyton’s arm had more time to burn out — I’d give it to the home team. But not this weekend. Eek. Peyton for the win.