Emptywheel’s Pro Football Turkey Day Trash Talk

Well, here it is Turkey Day time and there is a big day of football scheduled to go with the bird and fixins. First off, all of us here, me. Marcy, Jim, Rayne and Roving Reporter Rosalind are thankful for your willingness to join us, help us work through difficult issues and support our work. Thank you. Okay, turkey trash talking time!

First game out of the chute is the Pack ‘O Cheese at the Kitties in Detroit. Marcy wants me to talk about how Matt Flynn isn’t worth squat except for in games like this and that he has gotten rich off of just a couple of them. Nope, not gonna do it; won’t jinx Flynn like that. I WANT to say the Packers have a great chance of winning this game, but I can’t. Lions are better at QB, at least as good at RB with Reggie Bush and have Megatron. Oh, and a killer (sometimes more than figuratively) defensive line. If Aaron rodgers were back, it is a whole different story, but he is not. The one weakness of Detroit is the secondary; if Flynn can get some time, he may make some hay there. Still, unless Matt Flynn pulls another miracle out of his butt, edge to the Lions.

Second game is Raiders at Cowboys. This is just L-tryptophan time filler. Seriously, the Raiders suck. They were almost starting to gel with Terrelle Pryor, he of the Sweatervest criminal Ohio State fame, at QB, but he is down and Matt McGloin is up. McGloin has actually not been horrible so far, but Dallas at home for Thanksgiving day is a tall order. Tony Romo and Dez Bryant are starting to click. Heck, there has even been a Demarco Murray siting the last couple of weeks. Dallas needs a win, because the Eagles are also gelling behind Nick Foles and the NFC East is down to those two. How bout them Cowboys!

The night game is on NBC this year, not NFL Network like it was for so long, and features the Steelers at the Defending Champ Ravens. This could be a pretty decent game. Both teams a little spotty this year, but coming together in the second half of the season, especially the Stillers. Both teams are 5-6 and trail the slumping Bengals in the AFC North. The winner of this game has a shot at the playoff; the loser is in trouble. I think Big Ben is just playing better than Flacco right now and that is the difference. But the home field will help the Ravens. A pick em, with a slight edge to the Stillers for an upset in the Ravens home nest.

As you can tell, the tunes this time are supplied by the great John Cash. A superb version of Ghost Riders in the Sky. And here is an absolutely fantastic long form article by Roseanne Cash on her and her father. It is really wonderful, comes with beautiful pictures and is a highly recommended read.

Happy Thanksgiving folks!

60 replies
  1. emptywheel says:

    It is NOT that Matt Flynn plays well “in games like this.” it is that he has been paid something like $19M based on his success in 2 games: a close loss against the 2010 Pats, and a close win against the Kitties in 2011.

    That is, he has ONLY ever been successful against my teams.

    And I’ve been saying for weeks — since minutes after Rodgers got hurt, actually — that they’d bring him back for this game.

    So, yeah, that happened.

    The Kitties have to get their heads out of their ass and start playing like an offensive team.

  2. emptywheel says:

    Also, how come no one delivered my requested hot interview of the week, Gisele commenting on Wes Welker’s homecoming game?

    If anyone wants to see that Peyton-Brady game again it’s on NFL network at 9.

  3. scribe says:

    Ahh. Few things could be better than Stillers football ON FREE FUCKING TV (well, network cable, but not King Roger the Clown’s premium cable channel) on Thanksgiving Day.

    Other than, perhaps, the Stillers beating the Crows in the Charm City. That might, just might, make it as close to perfect as could be. (Add some snow and we’re there.)

    I’m rolling into cranking up the oven and stove for the annual feast. Got the turkey – it’s been defrosting in the fridge since Sunday. Got the bread for the filling – I even made an extra loaf of the extra-crusty no-knead-bread for this very purpose. Got the leeks. I had a bumper crop of them this year. Got the sweet potatoes and the candied orange peel. Got the potatoes. Got the pumpkin. Got the flour and crisco – I’ll roll my own piecrust, thank you. Got the brussels sprouts. Got all the other odds and ends, with the possible exception of a quick trip to the post-freeze herb garden. This house is gonna smell goood and taste even better.

    I’m thankful for a lot this year. It was a slow year work-wise, but I’m getting some now and cashing checks for a change. My dog is well. My health is good. My car works. My neighbors are cool. My friends – surprise! – respect me. My place is weather-tight.

    And I got this place to sling some trash.

    You might have figured out by now I have minimalist expectations. You’d be right.

    There’s a lot that’s wrong in the world, but a lot that’s right, too.

    Now, on to the trash.

    Anyone want to comment on The Geezer Favruh’s interview last week, wherein he related his own memory loss and failing vocabulary? And on how he was kinda glad he didn’t have sons because, knowing what they know now about head injuries and such, he and his wife would have a hard time letting such sons play football?

    Seems like he made the right decision passing up the Rams for being the unpaid volunteer offensive coordinator at the hometown high school.

  4. seedeevee says:

    The Cowgirls will eat a steady diet of Hashed Jennings and Seabass.

    The Autumn Wind will be gladly accepted – as it will be needed to blow away the stench of another cranberry fueled gaseous Tony Romo 3 interception 1 fumble day.

    The Football Gods will smile upon us all and deliver us from the Evil that is Jerry Jones, the Dentured One. Let us now remember the many ways we despise Emmitt Smith and love Terrell Owens for Dancing on the Cowboy Star . . . .

  5. nomolos says:

    @emptywheel: Wes Welker confirmed this week that he was/is unable to catch the ball when money is on the line.

    “I have been great at catching the ball in regular games but somehow, in the playoffs, I just don’t have the skills. Giselle saw that and that is why I moved to Denver, I just hope Manning continues to fail in real weather and we don’t get to the post season…if we do I am done. That darn Brady was just too good for me especially in the cold weather”

  6. bmaz says:

    @nomolos: Tee hee hee:

    You mean Brady the guy who so severely underthrew Gronk against the Panthers that they couldn’t even get an interference call?

    That Brady?? I am sure Wes Welker’s wife was chuckling at that one.

  7. bmaz says:

    @nomolos: Or fail to get it close enough!

    Though, all kidding aside, it really was either pass interference or, at a minimum, at least defensive holding. Either one gets the Pats a few yards closer and another free down.

  8. emptywheel says:

    @nomolos: Jeebus though.

    I’m in the camp that letting Welker go was a big mistake (and a sign that BillBel only gets douchier as he gets older).

    But that game made me rethink it. Welker is absolutely supberb. But IS Welker a choker? Dunno, but glad he missed the crucial 3rd down catch for the Broncos this year instead of the Pats (I don’t blame him as much for the muffed punt, and boy was he generous for taking responsibility as loudly as he did).

  9. Peterr says:

    Kittehs, Raiders, and Ravens.

    Yes, the Raiders suck, and yes, the Cowboys need a win, but given a chance to take down the Cowboys at Jerry’s World on Thanksgiving on national television, the silver and black will take this opportunity to rise to the occasion and ruin the big party. It’s just how they roll.

    And on this day of thanksgiving, I give thanks for sports teams whose name somehow matches their city, like the football players of Baltimore. And not, you know, the hoopsters in Salt Lake City.

  10. bmaz says:

    @JohnT: Dammit John, you KNOW about the rhubarb pie problem Marcy and I are having don’t you!?!? This was wholly uncalled for, now I have to remind her I NEED rhubarb pie.

    By the way, here is a the big box of assorted desserts I picked up at the neighborhood french bakery yesterday and that we will be fattening ourselves on today.

  11. Bay State Librul says:

    @bmaz: It was textbook pass interference. The flag would never have been overturned in the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd periods. With seconds remaining, and home fans watching, the refs scurried out of the stadium, a profile in courage moment.

  12. scribe says:

    @Peterr: Really. You’d think he could do his own baking and not rely on some cheese-eating Frenchies to do it for him.

    Don’t mind me. It’s just the cider talking. Seems the pasteurizer at the local orchard doesn’t quite wipe out the strong local yeast, much to my watching-the-bubbles-rise-in-the-glass pleasure. So many bubbles it popped the top off the jug, in the fridge.

    The turkey’s in the oven and the squash, too. The chestnuts are braising and the turkey stock – for the bread filling – is simmering away.

    And I, too, hail Terrell Owens for dancin’ on the star. I was watching that game and knew it was an immortal moment in sports history the moment it happened.

  13. bmaz says:

    @scribe: Hey guys, what do you think is the law here at Casa de bmaz anyway?? I am not allowed anywhere near the kitchen during real cooking periods. And wife ordered big box ‘o goodies too, all I did was pick it up. I just do what I am told. And eat everything produced.

  14. scribe says:

    @scribe: Likewise, Megatron is even more useless when Stafford throws a pick.

    And let’s not even talk about giving away another 15 yards for mouth-tackling the interceptor.

  15. bmaz says:

    @emptywheel: What the hey??? Stop that!

    The Lions are kicking ass and taking names; there is no way Green Bay can win this without Rodgers. the Pack season is sunk.

  16. joanneleon says:

    Just dropping in to say Happy Thanksgiving to all you emptywheelers. Love ya. Hope your holiday is groovy.

  17. emptywheel says:

    1) While no one commented on it, that was greatly improved secondary play by the Kitties. Sure, the D Line was the D LIne, which gave Flynn no chance. But if this secondary continues to improve, the D will start to pull our ass out of close games (tho let’s see how they do against Foles).

    2) No one really mentioned it but the local press had a few of the aforementioned secondary players talking about how angry they are that one record game got Flynn a $19M payday. They had reason to play.

  18. bmaz says:

    “Greatly improved Kitties’ secondary”.

    “Greatly improved” by the fact they were not trying to cover Aaron Rodgers led passing attack.

    Bah humbug!

  19. emptywheel says:

    @Linnaeus: Damn I wish they had won that w/o all those turnovers and kicks outta bounds. Cause they’ve got the talent to contend. Just not the discipline.

    But I’ll take this. Boy will I take a Turkeyday win.

  20. KellyCDenver says:

    What is this “football” you speak of, and “kitties. Kitties. KITTIES?”

    Also Megatron is my favorite transformer, so perhaps a vehicle for communication is possible with you humans, but, I’m not so sure…

    Do you have any margaritas? That would help.

  21. scribe says:

    Well, ain’t that an interesting way to start a game?

    Heh. Good-ol’ Who’s-playing-Dallas comes to the rescue.

  22. emptywheel says:

    @bmaz: At least. Yes. With a top flight coach, this is among the best 4 teams in football (though I think Stafford has been spoiled w/Megatron, as Brady was during the Moss era, and he could be better/more disciplined).

  23. Peterr says:

    @scribe: My favorite part is that the announcers said that the guy who rolled into the end zone with that fumble is playing his second professional game. That’s a nice way to make an entrance.

    And watching the dancing on the sidelines, I get the feeling that the coach got them all fired up in the locker room before the game, and they were grinning as if to say “THAT’S what Coach was talking about!”

    Yeah, they’re playing like they really want to stick it to the Cowboys.

  24. bmaz says:

    Also, think about it – how great is it that there was a Super Bowl where John Elway and Brett Favre faced off – and the game went down to the wire?


  25. bmaz says:

    @Peterr: Wait, there is dancing on the sidelines other than by really cute cheerleaders??

    Well, except at New York Knick games where Grinch Ass Dolan has taken that away.

  26. emptywheel says:

    @Peterr: McGloin dude is one of those special overperformers.

    I just want someone from PA to explain why he didn’t even get recruited out of high school.

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