NCAA Football Championship Trash Talk (after NFL games)

UPDATE: Allright Emptywheel lugnuts, here is yer update to the post I said would serve all huge games this expanded weekend. Not much has changed on my original discussion below, however, Oregon had a number 3 receiver, Darren Carrington, suspended because of a terminally stupid positive pot test.

Both teams are not at perfect strength, so disregard the injury/suspension factor. Ohio State stands a better shot than most may think. I still think the Sweatervests will not be able to put down the Duckies. Cause you just cannot put down the Duck. And I am, despite my betting losses on Oregon in previous years, going to stick with that.

I went 3 for 4 in predictions on the NFL, but suffered a painful loss when the Colts stomped the Broncos and now confirmed peg legged Capt. Manning. Oh well, my bad.

Enjoy our first playoff NCAA Championship game! In honor of that, I have sacked the two offending Packers love songs and inserted some Quack shit. Cause the Duckies will NOT be put down (please see the new video attached.)]

The first game up is Baltimore at New England. The Ravens seem to be the trendy pick these days, and they certainly are capable of wandering into the Big Razor and knocking off the Pats. Flacco, Suggs and yadda, yadda, yadda. I don’t think so. The Pats are a touchdown favorite, and there is good reason for that. Brady and Gronk are rocking and have a hard nosed running game with Blount. Add in that the Ravens are not all that strong in the secondary and it spells success for the Pats. Throw in the shutdown ability of Darrelle Revis and Brandon Browner for the Pats in the secondary and there you go.

Second game is the late game Saturday, Carolina at Seattle. Love to see the Panthers pull off the massive upset so there might could be Conference title game at Lambeau, but that just is not happening. The Panthers are better than their record reflects, especially at this point in the season, but the Squawks are not the quarterback less Cardinals and this game is in Seattle.

Sunday early game is the game of the week. Naturally, the Cowboys at Packers, Ice Bowl II. ‘Boys won all their road games this year, Pack won all their home games. Lately Romo has been performing in a Rodgers like manner. Cowboys have the running game edge with Murray and Aaron Rodgers is got a gimpy calf. If this game was straight offense against offense, I’d have to take the ‘Boys. But defense wins playoff games, and on the Frozen Tundra, I trust the Packers’ defense more than that of Dallas. This is probably a net toss-up in my mind. Oddsmakers have Green Bay as a 5.5 point favorite. I don’t know about that, but I think they find a way to eek out the win.

Last game is Colts at Broncos. I was stunned that the Colts looked so good last weekend. They really did. But this game is not indoors in Indy, it is late afternoon/evening at Mile High. That is a whole nuther thing, Peyton has great numbers at home, and finally has Julius Thomas back and healthy. The two Thomases, Welker and Emmanuel Sanders are too much firepower for Indy to handle, and Von Miller will be bothering Andrew Luck. Toss in the vastly improved Denver running game with C.J. Anderson, and you can see why the Broncs are a touchdown favorite, and I think they will cover that.

The Cowboys are not there, but there is a big game at Jerryworld in Dallas. The first ever College Football Playoff Championship. Oregon, and I am still shocked by this, Ohio State. The Ducks just flat rolled Florida State, can OSU keep up with their high octane offense? I am tempted to say no, but Michigan State played Oregon awfully tough early in the year, so maybe. Cardale Jones is a load, and he can throw too. No way I am picking against the Quackers here, but if Ohio State plays like they did last week again, they can win. But Urban Meyer would be absolutely insufferable with a third national title, so he must be stopped, and I think the Ducks finally get their crystal trophy. If the Ducks lose, it may be because their receiving corps is depleted, both from injuries and from stupidity.

Okay, sorry about the music selections, but PHRED MADE ME DO IT! Actually, Phred wanted Let’s Go Lambeau by the Bodeans as the music. I did too, but it is not on You Tube. You can hear it at this link though, and it really rocks. If the Cheese get by the ‘Boys, maybe I will try to make a music video of it for next week.

167 replies
  1. Jim White says:

    Wow. I’m on Team Phreddi-Cactus all the way through the playoffs, but I only made it through about 20 seconds of that first video. That’s some really stinky cheese.

  2. emptywheel says:

    Imma gonna take the Boys, and not just because they robbed my team of a win.

    Cause someone’s gotta win out of the wildcard and I hope it’s not the Ravens (shit, what happened to that hapless team from 2 and 3 weeks ago)?

    I think it possible Peyton plays like late season noodle-armed Peyton again, but the Colts just don’t have the running game to beat the Broncos at home, even with a noodle-armed Peyton (though we can hope).

    And any hope the Panthers had (they did play reasonably well during the season) got killed when Loutulelei went out.

    So I gotta take the thieving Boys. I don’t like that, but whatev.

    • Bay State Librul says:

      Are you in bed with Christie?

      Foxborough is fucking cold, and dropping. My poker game starts at 6PM, (bad timing) hope we don’t have a doubly bad night playing Omaha Hi Low.

      Very nervous about the Ravens.

  3. bloopie2 says:

    So, what time are my Cleveland Browns playing? What? Oh. It must be nice to be a fan of a winning team. What’s that you say? Me? Bitter? Nah, never — I feel great, knowing that I am as one with the scores of millions who just can not find it in their hearts to cheer for any of the home teams. Go Andy and Indy!

  4. bloopie2 says:

    What’s the verdict on whether the Colts were right to dump Manning and hire Luck? To me the answer is clearly ‘yes’. Tomorrow’s game will prove me right.

    • JohnT says:


      Let us be clear: No self respecting decent human has to support the Dallas Cowboys. Ever.

      This should read

      Let us be clear: No self respecting decent human will ever support the Dallas Cowboys. Ever.


      JK, but, not really

    • scribe says:

      Let us be clear: No self respecting decent human has to support the Dallas Cowboys. Ever.

      Truer words have rarely been spoken.

      Let us be clear: No self respecting decent human has to support the Dallas Cowboys. Ever.
      This should read
      Let us be clear: No self respecting decent human will ever support the Dallas Cowboys. Ever.

      Likewise true.

  5. Bitter Angry Drunk says:

    I read somewhere, Deadspin maybe, that because their spring semester starts a week later, Ohio State has been afforded considerably more practice time than Oregon. NCAA rules protecting student athletes who are in no way doing unpaid full-time jobs and all that. Since I don’t really follow college football because exploitation makes me uncomfortable, I don’t necessarily care, but if I did, knowing this I would be seriously tempted to take the Buckeyes and the points.

    Cowboys-Packers? I just can’t. Even knowing one of these teams will lose doesn’t come close to making up for the fact that one of them will also win. Only solace I take in this game is the thought of Christie freezing his fat ass off, and being disappointed when the Packers win. Because the Packers will win.

  6. JohnT says:

    My picks
    Panthers (even though they have Scam Newton as their QB), Colts (team Luck), and Quackers (Pac 12, represent)

  7. scribe says:

    BMAz: re: your twitter feed.

    Please be kinder to Bernie Kerik. Convicted felons (who once were crooked cops) need some sort of occupational re-entry into civilization. If he can’t get a gig as a tree surgeon or working at the trash transfer station like his fellow ex-cellmates, at least he isn’t out doing more crimes. So, give him a break and figure he’s just playing to whatever folks will give him any kind of a gig. You know, “thirsty man in desert” and all that.

  8. bloopie2 says:

    Since we are on the topic of taking out the hated opposition. “US drone hovering since late morning over Radfan in Lahj, stronghold of popular South separatist movement.” How long before one can buy a small, high-flying drone that will take down such a machine? The Afghans did it to us with Stingers; there, the copters were a generation or two ahead of the missiles. With the pace of technology, I’d say a lot quicker this time?

  9. Bay State Librul says:

    MIAMI (AP) — Florida authorities say George Zimmerman, whose acquittal of murdering an unarmed black teen sparked a national debate on race and self-defense laws, has been arrested for allegedly throwing a wine bottle at his girlfriend.


    I still think Georgie Boy’s lawyer turned water into wine.

  10. rosalind says:

    team luck!
    team phred!
    team S.A.D. ! (Seasonal Affective Disorder) (Trash Talk Judges will also accept: Squawks)
    impolitely abstain from the Raven Har-Boy vs. Giselle’s Boy.

    • phred says:

      ros!!! Nice to see you : ) I love “Team S.A.D.” : )
      Just for the record, I point a bunch of points on Team S.A.D., The Home Polo Team, and a few points on the locals and my Packers in my pool.
      I hate to dispute with the hostess, but I don’t see any of the wild victors carrying on, over, forward, etc. (h/t M.A.S.H.), further into the playoffs.

  11. scribe says:

    Giselle’s gotta be throwing a fit by now.
    That, and Revis Island is being swamped.
    Flacco:Hot knife::Patsies’ D:butter

  12. bmaz says:

    It is a travesty that these dirty Ravens are allowed on the same field as Bill Bel’s clean cut good citizens. Booo.

  13. bmaz says:

    So, for the NFL is going to use my happy little hamburg to host Super Bowl XLIX, and are going to saddle that hospitality with the putrid halftime show of fucking Katy Perry and Lenny Kravitz? I want to puke.

  14. scribe says:

    Revis has a huge cap number and a big roster bonus, too. After tonight, I somehow have concluded these will not be real issues.
    Not after that last penalty.

  15. wallace says:

    Unbelievable. Now I know why emptywheels site is devoid of the real support of her endeavors. More people are interested in the pathetic theater of manchildren who think games such as football are so important they supercede events of such magnitude, that lays bare the stupidity of daily support of games of imbecilic nonsense. Meanwhile, the real battles of mankind result in dead bodys by the thousands. Congratulations. These posts really show what this site is about. You really show the world why daily analysis of documents means nothing, while weekly analysis of upcoming football invokes commentary 5 fold of the reality of current events. It’s as really are what Murka is.

        • phred says:

          Buddy, you are hilarious… The sum total of a human being may be derived from your hostility towards football??? Really??? Do yourself a favor, put down the keyboard and develop a hobby that makes you happy.

          • Peterr says:

            The quality of trolls has really dropped off around here. Used to be, we’d get trolls who at least knew how to spell, how to use punctuation, and the basic rules of grammar.
            This place sure ain’t what it used to be.

            • phred says:

              Ah the good ol’ days, when men were men, trolls were trolls, and foul-mouthed fembloggers were foul-mouthed fembloggers ; )
              I know what you’re thinking… I miss Jody, too (kinda ; )

                • phred says:

                  Guilty as charged ; )
                  What can I say, not everyone likes stout beers. Besides, it is good to know that even trolls have redeeming qualities ; ) But thank goodness we are not subjected to the relentless bold font and capital letters any more ; )

    • bmaz says:

      Pick another thread to make a jackass out of yourself yet again on.

      By the way, the name is America, not “Murka”. Jerk.

  16. phred says:

    One down, three to go…
    Best football of the year this weekend and next : ) Just hope it ends well : )

  17. bmaz says:

    Whoooo Hoooo!!!!!
    Good thing Pats got an interception, because they were getting no pass rush on Flacco.

  18. scribe says:

    Harbaugh almost got that game by outcoaching Cheatin’ Bill at the end there.
    That said, I am gladdened by the Crows being sent home losers.

  19. emptywheel says:

    Phew. I quit.

    I tweeted this, but very awesome. When asked what he would do if he didn’t play football, hero of the game Duron Harmon said he’d be a union lawyer.

  20. bloopie2 says:

    I’d ask a loud (read: Seattle) fan this: If you could make your stadium so loud that the opposing offense could barely function at all, would you do choose to that? In other words, win by noise, not by skill?

  21. phred says:

    I’ll admit, I did not expect a tie game this far into it… Is Carolina actually trying to make the AFC South looks as though it didn’t totally suck during the season??? That’s ambitious…

    • bloopie2 says:

      The kicking team needs to have someone stand where he is going to land, in a stiff-arm pose, so that he lands his face right into that. Won’t do it again.

  22. Peterr says:

    Is there a big Blacklight at the stadium in Seattle? The neon green outline/piping/highlighting on their jerseys certainly suggests the answer is “yes”.
    I suppose that’s what you get when the state approves pot.

  23. phred says:

    I am really surprised the game is this close going into the 4th… I dunno, might there be an upset in the making that might benefit a certain team near and dear to my heart?

    • phred says:

      Hilarious! Thanks for that Jim, here’s hoping…
      Speaking of hilarious, nice Stafford quote, bmaz ; )
      bloopie, Detroit hasn’t won in Lambeau in ages because until recently they haven’t been very good, while the Packers have been. I remember decades however, when pretty much everyone except the Packers won in Lambeau during the P.V.P.F. era (Post-Vince, Pre-Favre). The other reason people offer at this time of year is the cold. Personally, I think that is oversold a bit, having watched warm weather teams win in the snow of Lambeau (e.g., Falcons first round of the playoffs a few years back). So, I’m plenty nervous today.

    • bloopie2 says:

      So how is Manziel supposed to learn the Browns offense now? He’s a big investment, and they need to support him for at least this one more year. And with a new OC? Good luck.

  24. bloopie2 says:

    Not looking forward to seeing those ugly Seahawks fans again next week. War paint, bad color combination, loudmouths, etc. — plug ugly. True fans, to be sure, but still …

  25. bmaz says:

    Anybody else catch Matt Stafford on ESPN saying how much he loves playing at Lambeau?
    Chris Berman complimented Stafford on that sentiment “in spite of not having too many wins there yet”.

      • bmaz says:

        It started off because it was hard to beat the Packers anywhere, much less in their freezing cold home stadium. As Marcy helpfully reminded me on Twitter, some of that mystique is lost now.

  26. bloopie2 says:

    Thanks all for the input. Are there statistics on home/road wins? Maybe football players are too young, as a class, to be able to ignore the “road” stuff. We old farts don’t give a s**t about stuff and just go out there and pound on people.

    • bmaz says:

      Dunno, but as I pointed out in the post, this year Dallas has won all its road games to date, and Green Bay has won all its home games to date. Someone is going to lose their string.

  27. Peterr says:

    The temp in my living room dropped five degrees when I turned on the game. At least that’s how it feels watching the folks at Lambeau.

  28. bloopie2 says:

    So, what’s on the halftime menu on this great day? It’s beer and pizza here, although on such a stressful day I could really use homemade brew – you know, that clear stuff in a bottle with no label. My wife’s uncle (from Slovenia) made a wicked one that would leave you gasping with each swallow. Just don’t try driving home afterward.

      • phred says:

        Me, too. I keep telling myself that the Pats pulled it out in the end, so maybe the Pack will, too. I’m nervous as heck… Thanks for the good wishes, BSL : )

  29. Bay State Librul says:

    If you’re looking for a good book on old time Sportswriters, pick up Frank Deford’s new
    Memoir, “Over Time”.

  30. What Constitution? says:

    Great effort but the decision to reverse the catch call was correct. If the receiver had possessed the unreal ability to overcome the instinct to try to pull in the ball to secure it, and had instead intentionally tried to extend his left arm to reach his left hand to get the ball across the plane, that action would have constituted a “football act” and he would have gotten credit for both the catch and a touchdown — even if the ball had come out when hitting the ground after crossing the plane — it would appear. That would have been ridiculously superhuman, but it would have changed the result. Right?

  31. Bitter Angry Drunk says:

    Wow. I actually feel sorry for Dall-ass now. Thanks, NFL!

    Seriously, even with the ridiculous rule about football acts or whatevs, that was a joke call. Bryant had control of the ball (even with the Packers defender tipping it while he held it high) and it didn’t come out till it hit the ground. The play’s dead at that point, isn’t it?

    Only consolation for me is that Green Bay’s season will end as it started, with a blow-out loss in Seattle.

  32. burnt says:

    Aaron Rodgers is fun to watch even when he is not his usual mobile self. Lacy continues to impress. Adams was an excellent 2nd round pick. How about that forced fumble by Peppers? I wish the Vikings had signed him.

    Sadly, I think the Pack is going to get slaughtered next week. However, I’m not going to dwell on it. It’s a sweet victory for them and a sweet defeat for me. I’ve disliked the Cowboys since I was a little boy because there was something about Roger Staubach that rubbed me wrong, and I’ve hated them since December 28, 1975 (although upon You Tube review I’m going to have to give Pearson the benefit of the doubt). Jerry Jones and Chris Christie I am so sorry for your loss.

    Confidential to Jerry: please, please, please give in to your deepest desires and go get Johnny Football. It would be a genius move just like the Colts trading a first-found pick for Trent Richardson.

  33. emptywheel says:

    Gotta say, if the play of Revis, Talib, and Sherman this weekend is any indication there’s no question but Sherman is clearly the premier back.

  34. Jim White says:

    While we were all obsessing about the NFL today, two big upsets in college hoops. The Dukies (#2) lost at NCState and the Badgers (#4) lost at Rutgers.

  35. Bay State Librul says:

    Okay time to remove ‘cheatin’ from Bill’s resume?

    The NFL confirmed on Sunday what Bill Belichick, Brady, and other Patriots were saying after Saturday’s win: The formations that drew the ire of the Ravens and coach Jim Harbaugh were completely legal.

    “Everything was legal from a formation and reporting standpoint,” said Michael Signora, NFL vice president of football communications.

    Harbaugh’s biggest complaint about the three plays — when the Patriots had just four offensive linemen in the game, then informed on-field officials that running back Shane Vereen would be an ineligible receiver, despite Vereen lining up in a normal receiver spot on the line of scrimmage — was that the Ravens didn’t have enough time to adjust to the unusual formation before Brady snapped the ball

    • bloopie2 says:

      Agreed, it’s not ‘cheatin’. But it’s still sleazy. It’s sad that the man who is possibly the best NFL coach ever chooses to tarnish his reputation by doing whatever he can get away with under the rules. And I wonder – if this leads to a rule change (timing, e.g.), won’t that even more cement our judgments that this action is slime? But I guess he’s proud of himself – those people always are.

      • Bay State Librul says:

        Now available for the Indy game


        A limited edition, silver and grey Velcro® hook and loop strap with the letters IR (ineligible
        Receiver) for placement on Shane Vereen, et al football jerseys. (The Harbaugh Rule)


        Scribe is the resident expert before cheatin’ and sleazin’ can be added to Bill’s resume

  36. Jim White says:

    Definitely my favorite Sesame Street music bit. Back in the days of endless VHS Sesame Street when our oldest was a toddler, that was the biggest bright spot on the tapes.
    Tonight we are all Ducks.

  37. bloopie2 says:

    Put Down The Duckie!! My God, how great. Hard to believe that we will see, on the tube tonight, an accomplishment as good and enduring as that. Thank you.

    • bmaz says:

      Yeah, we are not in mercy rule territory, thank you very much.
      But Put Down the Duckie is truly killer, no? I learned that on a Sesame Street VCR my now 19 year old daughter would watch over and over and over as like a 3-5 year old. And I immediately thought it was awesome, and still do.

      • bloopie2 says:

        Yes, it is truly awesome. Like all the best from Sesame Street, it takes a topic easily accessible to children, and dresses it up in adult clothing – and Brooks Brothers, not J. C. Penney. How many have learned from that show, unwittingly perhaps, of the marvel of doing even a seemingly mundane task at a high level?

        • bmaz says:

          Great question.I have no clue, but I will say this, I saw soooo many hours of it in the background while I worked at home. It had plenty of stuff for adults tucked into the kid’s stuff.

      • Peterr says:

        The writers of Sesame Street have the audacity to treat their very young audience as worthy of being taken seriously. From Day 1 they knew the difference between talking down to children and talking with children, and they rarely stepped on the wrong side of that line.
        Sometimes, other adults took notice of this fact. In 1971, years and years before the 1988 presidential campaign, a certain candidate was honing his stump speech at a very different rally in the lot between 123 Sesame Street and Mr Hooper’s store.
        (Gotta love the hair, the clothes, and the fashion accessory around his neck.)

    • Peterr says:

      The Ducks? Seems to me that The Tide had a chance to disallow any Urban swaggering before the opening kickoff even happened tonight. Before dumping on the duckies, you might want to have a few words with Nick Saban, Inc.

  38. Klynn says:

    Today is my oldest’s birthday. Thus the lurking. I’ll share a personal Buckeye story later. It involves the 1968 team that the uniforms are inspired by…

    • bmaz says:

      One of the FEW, and rare, Big10 victories in the Rose Bowl. Savor them, there will never be many in the modern age!

  39. Peterr says:

    What’s that song I hear coming from the ranks of the Sweatervest Marching Band?
    You’ve got to shut down the Duckies!
    Shut down the Duckies!
    Shut down the Duckies!
    Yeah, you’ve gotta send those Duckies home!
    You’ve got to shut down the Duckies!
    Shut down the Duckies!
    Shut down the Duckies
    if you wanna take that trophy home! . . .

  40. Klynn says:

    Bmaz, you may remember my Woody chalkboard stories…for those who do not know, my Dad and Woody coached together. Woody use to keep a corner of one of his chalkboards open each week for me to draw “Buckeye Cheers” in colored chalk starting at the age of 2. At age 5 I drew Brutus dancing and holding a rose. That was for the 1968 team before the Rose Bowl. If you have seen the Nike shirt that is underneath the game shirt, it is an image from a section of Woody’s last chalkboard session. At age 12 I got to draw that dacing Brutus again for the 1975 team. In 2002 my son’s teacher as mentioned above was Jim Heacock’s wife. Jim had my son join a closed practice and the National Championship team signed a Woody Hayes hat for him due to my Dad’s friendship. So, tonight the Buckeyes gave my son a birthday party! Fitting for our family history.

  41. SomeCallMeTim says:

    Just dropped by to say – OUCH –

    /U of O class of ’81

    (Not as bad tonight as the Ducks 1st ever game in brand new Autzen Stadium: 0-30 against tOSU. Tickets were only 50 cents for a nin year old.)

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