Pure Michigan Trash Talk

Michigan’s official tourism and advertising campaign has been called “Pure Michigan” for a while now. They do some beautiful advertising that has commercials reaching nationwide, if not world wide. And so it is we go to Pure Michigan for this week’s trash talk. Because all the good ball is in Michigan this weekend.

First up in Pure Michigan is The Mighty Fighting Journalists of Northwestern at the Big House in Ann Arbor to take on obnoxious Coach Baggy Chinos and the Wolverweenies. Obviously, most Americans are properly rooting for the Journalists. Michigan got beat in week one when they went west to Rice-Eccles Stadium to visit Utah. Things did not turn out well for the Weens, but in hindsight it turns out that Utah is really good. Michigan has won all their games since then. Northwestern is undefeated and has been surprisingly good in getting there. The line favors Michigan by 10, and all the experts are picking them. I think 10 points is way too much with these two defensive minded teams (they rank one and two in defensive points allowed nationally), but no question Michigan is favored in the Big House. I think the game will come down to whether the Journalists can get Justin Jackson going on the ground. If they do, this could be an upset special. Frankly, the only other NCAA game of note is Cal at Utah. The last two undefeated teams in the Pac-12, and only one will leave still in that status. QB edge goes to Cal’s Jared Goff, but the Utes are awfully well coached and are at home. I’ll take the Utes.

The other Pure Michigan special this week is Cardinals at the Lions. The Battle of the Emptywheel Blog. The Kittehs are down on their luck, and got hosed at Seattle last week. The Cards got beat at home by the newly Todd Gurley invigorated Rams. The Cards were terribly off offensively. Much of that can obviously be attributed to St. Louis’ terrific defense, but it was more than that. Carson Palmer and the boys just never seemed in synch. I actually thought Detroit played a good game in Seattle and looked solid. It is still not clear they can keep Stafford from getting killed though, and that is not going to get any easier against the Cards defense. But the Lions have too much talent to lose every game, and they may well get off the snide this week in an upset.

Other games of interest in the NFL include Squawks at Bengals. This really could be a great game, and we are going to get a good glimpse as to whether Andy Dalton and the Bengals have really turned the corner this time. I think they have and beat the Squawks. Also the Rams visit the Tundra at Lambeau. The Rams are way better than you think, especially with Gurley untracked. But Lambeau, Rodgers and the Pack are a load I’m not sure St. Louis can overcome. Still, look for a great game. All the ESPN loud mouthed yokels are yammering about the Patriots at the Cowboys. This would have been worth the talk if Romo, Dez Bryant and a handful of others were not out for Dallas. But with a still pissed off Tom Brady, and Bill Bell coming off of an extra bye week to scheme? Yeah, good luck with that ‘Boys. Believe it or not, the Broncos at Raiders might also be pretty interesting.

The F1 Circus is in Sochi this weekend. There are still some rough edges on the young Sochi circuit. They barely got it ready for last year’s inaugural Russian Grand Prix. Far better this year, but still having growing pains. In spite of that, I really kind of Sochi. Toro Rosso’s Carlos Sainz had a nasty crash at Practice Three this morning, but has been pronounced okay at the hospital. Still, he will be held for observation, and will not join the grid tomorrow. Qualifying is going on as I write, with Rosberg and Hamilton fast, and Valterri Bottas and Vettel just behind as we reach the Q2 cutoff. Massa didn’t make Q3, but there is Bottas currently in P3. Bottas really clicks at Sochi, having made the podium last year. Massa, his Williams teammate, however, seems not to like Sochi. Was off the pace last year too. Weird.

Anyway, in other news Jeb! Bush did NOT, I repeat NOT, smoke weed with Bill Belichick in high school. Well, you know, of course not. Everybody knows Bill Bel smoked hash, not weed!

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112 replies
  1. JohnT says:

    .
    FWIW, my Great Grandpa lived in Lansing
    .
    And, there’s only one No Fun League game I really felt good about, and that was the Bengals and Squawks. I think the Bengals keep rolling with Andy Dalton. And, I’m still upset with the Vikings for taking Christian Ponder over him. There were other teams I like, but to make it challenging for myself, I pick games according to the line
    .
    on the other hand there are all kinds of college teams and games I like this week. For instance, The Fighting Journalists, who are gonna surprise a lot of people who don’t follow them seriously by staying close, if not winning outright in Ann Arbor
    .
    According to the points, I’ll take Maryland against the former Sweatervests. Arkansas is also getting a ton of points against Alabama. I think that it’s within a TD for most of the game, and the Razorbacks could steal this game. Navy’s getting two TDs vs the Domers, and I’ll take that. And one that’s off 98% off of most people’s radar, Temple. I don’t know exactly what’s going on with them, but a lot of people who make a living based on the game of football, think very highly of them.
    .
    And the game, I’m most hyped about, is Cal vs Utah. And it’s also the game I’m most scared of trying to guess. If QB Jarred Goff declares for the draft he’s gonna go top 5, if not number one. And I’ve been saying for a few years that Utah has a good program. Whether or not anyone’s believed me, it’s coming true now. I can’t pick a winner. One minute I think Cal is gonna finally show the country what their potential is, the next I think Utah is gonna play with a chip on their shoulder. So, finally I decided not to pick a winner and go with the under of 61.5
    .
    I’d still rather have Cal win, but at the same time I wouldn’t mind if Utah won, because it’ll cause all the the know-it-all talking-heads heads to explode

  2. bloopie2 says:

    “Michigan”. A great set-up line, in and of itself. Here’s another one, hot off today’s Internet.
    .
    “LANSING — A Troy attorney violated ethical rules when he drafted estate documents for a wealthy client who willed $14 million to the lawyer and his children, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the will is invalid, the Michigan Court of Appeals ruled in a split decision released today.”
    .
    Wow. That raises so many possibilities.

    “The decision was a lead pipe cinch.”
    .
    “It’s going to be a long, bumpy road for that attorney to win.”
    .
    “He may be entitled to something, but not the lion’s share of the money.”
    .
    “I didn’t know there was $14 million left in Michigan.”

    “There are ethical rules for lawyers?” (sorry, boss)

    http://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2015/04/10/attorney-receiving-millions-will-drafted-wealthy-client/25611217/

  3. Peterr says:

    In spite of that, I really kind of Sochi.

    I think there’s a word or phrase missing here. “Kind of . . .” what?
    .
    . . . fond of?
    . . . bonkers about?
    . . . worried about?
    . . . ?
    .
    Thanks for the kind words about the FJs. I think you’re right about the betting line — this could end up with a baseball score (3-0, 7-3, etc.). Put me down for FJs by 3.

    • bmaz says:

      Should have read “kind of like Sochi”. Which is hard to say without seeing a track over several years of races, but I really liked Sochi race last year in spite of it clearly not being totally done.
      .
      Dakine: Go Hilltoppers!
      .
      JohnT up top….Yes, Kyle Whittingham is an excellent coach and, apparently, recruiter. Lot of people been saying that for a while.

  4. dakine01 says:

    WKU Hilltoppers at home already up over Middle Tennessee 21 – 0 with 6 minutes gone in first quarter. (Da Blue Raiduhs have tended to beat the “Toppers a bit too often over the years)

    UK ‘Cats off this week until Thursday night when they have Auburn at home. I think Auburn is favored but not by as much as they would have been earlier in the year.

    Loo-uh-vul is off this week and goes to Florida St next Saturday so most of the Loo-uh-vul ‘sports talk’ is about strippers and escorts and basketball Oh My!

    • emptywheel says:

      Pretty appalling that a state surrounded by fresh water (well, and OH, but forget that for the moment) can’t provide clean affordable water to two of its major cities.

      • dakine01 says:

        Yeah, that led to a field goal just before halftime to make it 52 for the ‘Toppers. They also had a couple of tricekration plays including a flea flicker and and a triple lateral with a halfback pass for a TD.

        Final score 58 – 28 WKU over MTSU.

  5. Jim White says:

    .
    I’d really like to laugh at the Land Thieves trailing the hapless Whorens by two TD’s early in the 4th quarter, but I’m hoping that Freep shows up to defend his beloved Sooners and to remind me that I was born there.
    .
    Meanwhile, today we get to see how the Gators deal with prosperity. They’ve played horribly against Mizzou the last few years and the game is in Columbia, so with Muschamp coaching, they’d get blown out. But McElwain really seems to have adjusted attitudes, so they just might gut one out.
    .
    In the MLB playoffs, the Texas Rangers are on the verge of shocking the world. They won the first two games in Toronto even though many (including me) expected Toronto to win the whole thing easily. Now my Royals may have a good shot.

  6. emptywheel says:

    Also, you couldn’t ask for a more beautiful fall day in MI. Mom’s in town so we took her to the beach. Crisp enough that it was pretty empty but still gorgeous.

    Also just harvested the first of what will surely be an unbelievably ridiculous harvest of Jerusalem (AKA Deleuzian) artichokes. Anyone want some?

      • emptywheel says:

        Not these. THese are otherwise known as sunchokes–they’re basically the tuber roots of a sunflower like plant. They’re good but once planted sort of take over, which I learned too late.

        • scribe says:

          Many things can be cured with the combination of butter, flour (i.e., roux), milk, cheese, light spices, and baking dishes. Said another way, make them in a gratin and serve alongside substantial protein and your house will ring with happy sounds.

          • emptywheel says:

            Yup. Have done that. I originally planted them bc I’ve been using them (in lieu of chestnuts which as I suspect you know are a pain in the ass to work with) in my Thanksgiving stuffing. I’ve used them in place of water chestnuts too.

            I also had them roasted w/hazelnut sauce at Number 2 in Copenhagen this summer–will have to replicate that bc it was our favorite thing we ate there.

            But that’s still just 4 things. That’s not gonna get me through 5 gallons of them.

            • scribe says:

              Try this:
              http://www.nytimes.com/1997/12/31/dining/the-minimalist-rediscovering-chestnuts.html
              .
              I’ve been making it since that suggestion first appeared and l-o-v-e it. Properly done, it comes out looking like a Bolognese pasta sauce but tan-brown from the chestnuts and shrooms. Use penne or rigatoni for the pasta,
              .
              I may try one of the dishes on the menu from this – http://jamesbeard.starchefs.com/old/events/1999/02/001.html – Roasted Pheasant with Chestnuts and Swiss Chard. Have the phez (opening day was last week), have the chard, can get the chestnuts. You may try with a small chicken or two and sub the sunchokes for the chestnuts. Go to the “French Culinary Institute’s Salute to Healthy Cooking” on Google Books @ pp291-292 for a recipe that uses blanched cabbage. Sub chard and you’re good.

              • scribe says:

                Chestnuts will freeze well when removed from the shell, i.e., after boiling. I put them in pint mason jars and they hold up fine. That way, can have the pasta sauce long after they’re out of season. Sorta like freezing homemade pesto.

    • Peterr says:

      Been busy with church stuff, and just popped in to check the score and the trash talk before heading off to another church event.
      .
      Let us pray . . .

        • bmaz says:

          WHEN THEY ARE FREAKING 28-0????
          .
          .
          Thanks for the encouragement ma’am! Yours truly,….Fighting Journalists!

          • Peterr says:

            That would the reason for the use of the word “finally,” I assume.
            .
            I also assume that Fitz is having a few choice words with that Defense in the locker room right about now.

        • JohnT says:

          .
          There’s a couple games on now, where I’m starting to wish there was something like a 10 run rule for football, maybe a 5 TD rule. … and this game is one of them

          • bmaz says:

            Fuck Captain Crazy Chinos!
            .
            Remember when teh Big 10 won a lot of games every season and were in the top couple in standings and the went almost Oh and Whatever for the Woody and Bo years in Rose Bowls??
            .
            Memories are strong when they come from me being a kid until well into law school. And, even rarely challenged since.

  7. bmaz says:

    The most thing that is missing here is a Marshall Amp.

    Only thing shocking is you did not find it out earlier.?

  8. quebecois says:

    Rosberg is the unluckiest bastard out there. He needs a baseball bat to properly correct a Gatorade container. Another boring race, I blame the rules, Ecclestone, Putin, Sanders and honey Boo boo.

  9. bmaz says:

    Has anybody seen our Roving Reporter??
    .
    I am terribly afraid ISIS, or worse, the Saudis, have captured her.

  10. bloopie2 says:

    From news reports: Giants tight end Daniel Fells has been hospitalized for more than a week as he battles a persistent Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) infection that necessitated being placed in the Intensive Care Unit on Friday. Fells has had five surgeries, and more are coming, as doctors try to stave off further infection. As of Saturday night, they were fighting to save his foot, which is at risk given the nature of the infection. They may amputate, in order to try to keep the infection from spreading throughout his body. He is the brother of tight end Darren Fells of the AZ Cardinals. It started with a banged-up foot a few weeks ago.
    .
    Wow.

  11. phred says:

    And a 1st Lambeau Leap is the most beautiful of all : ) Happy Packer Day Everyone!
    .
    Have visitors this weekend, so just popping in for a minute to say howdy.
    .
    JohnT — I had surgery recently and one of the comments a nurse made was that getting people home quickly was really helpful in limiting the likelihood of developing infections. The best argument I’ve ever heard for what is often viewed as sleazy-cheap-bastard-insurers behaving badly…

      • scribe says:

        True. but on an early-in-game tackle he basically gave Biebs’ right shoulder a pile-driver into the JerryWorld turf.
        .
        Uncalled for. And shortly thereafter took an unsportsmanlike penalty.
        .
        In other news, TD Biebs. Lewis f’d up a route and got a major asschewing from Biebs on the sideline after that. Since then, is running like the proverbial man possessed.

        • emptywheel says:

          Lewis just got an almost unheard of contract extension. guess they don’t want to lose their Vereen figure again.

    • emptywheel says:

      Someday someone needs to take a REALLY close up of those sneaks. Cause that almost never fails to work, in spite of everyone and their mother expecting it.

    • scribe says:

      Tejada should never have turned his back on an approaching runner. Period. He was too amped on making a stylish jump-spin move to get the DP that he ignored both his own safety and touching the bag while receiving a lousy throw from his 2B.
      .
      Utley, OTOH, was playing like it was Mutts at Phillies @ Citizens’ Bank Park.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJskUGHeq8g
      Recall, also, that Dodgers SS JRoll was the guy who predicted the Mutts would implode, resulting in this awesome back page: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/mets/seth-fleischauer-symbol-mets-fans-agony-article-1.227182
      I have a hard copy somewhere around the house.
      And JRoll’s famous prediction and response are not forgotten, neither in Mutt-land nor by the guys (JRoll and Chase) who lived it:

      Jimmy Rollins was right after all.

      The Phillies, whom Rollins declared the “team to beat in the NL East” in January, will make their first postseason appearance in 14 years as the division champion. Philadelphia’s MVP candidate saw to it by going 2-for-3 with a triple, an RBI and two runs scored in yesterday’s 6-1 victory.

      You know how it feels to be right at the end? It feels wet with champagne,” said a soaked and smiling Rollins.

      http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/mets/jimmy-rollins-laughs-phillies-win-nl-east-article-1.230227
      .
      Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want to see guys get their legs broken. But Utley’s play was a legitimate baseball play. And Tejada should never have turned his back on an approaching runner.

      • bloopie2 says:

        From the replays I’ve seen, Utley was nowhere near the base. It was a tackle, not a slide. Is it really legal for a runner to go chase down a fielder and tackle him to prevent him from tagging you out? If so, it should be made illegal. Even if he was playing within the rules, what he did was disgusting.

        • scribe says:

          I’ve seen the play. He did not “chase down the fielder and tackle him to prevent him from tagging you”. Tejada was not even attempting to tag Utley. Tejada’s back was turned to Utley, making the whole statement that he was attempting to tag him ludicrous. Tejada was attempting to turn the pivot in the double play from an extremely awkward angle and while receiving a bad throw from the second baseman.
          .
          Moreover to get the double play, Tejada was relying on what’s commonly called the “neighborhood play”. The “neighborhood play” means that the umpire gives the fielder credit for having his foot on the bag when his foot is not touching it but is merely near it, i.e., “in the neighborhood”.
          .
          Further, the statement that “Utley was nowhere near the base” is simply false. In the course of the play, and about at the moment of impact, Utley was ON THE BASE. And his momentum carried him across the base. So much so that if Tejada had had the presence of mind to do so, Tejada could have tagged him out while they were on the ground. Utley had to get back onto the base at the conclusion of the play.
          .
          No one likes players getting hurt, but I expect when Joe Torre reviews the play, he’ll come to the same conclusions I did. Utley’s play was rough, but it was within the rules. Tejada lacked situational awareness, ignored the oncoming runner and set himself up.

          • bloopie2 says:

            You are right about this: “I’ve seen the play. He did not “chase down the fielder and tackle him to prevent him from tagging you”. Tejada was not even attempting to tag Utley.” HOWEVER (TO MIMIC YOUR CAPS). 1. I did not say that Utley was doing that. If you go back and read my post you will see that I made that comment about players in general, not about this particular play. 2. I don’t believe it matters whether the fielder is trying to tag the player or touch the base. 3. If he was on the base, please provide a link to a video that shows that.

          • bloopie2 says:

            “Moreover to get the double play, Tejada was relying on what’s commonly called the “neighborhood play”. The “neighborhood play” means that the umpire gives the fielder credit for having his foot on the bag when his foot is not touching it but is merely near it, i.e., “in the neighborhood”.
            .
            How is that relevant to whether the play was dirty?

          • JohnT says:

            .
            I get your perspective with arguing the rules and how they’re applied.
            .
            My point is, if they didn’t suspend him, the Mets players would have taken things into their own hands. Utley would be drilled every. single. time. he came up to the plate. And / or every base Mets runner would go at Utley or even maybe Rollins and go full Jack Tatum and literally launch themselves at Utley or Rollins
            .
            Maybe a better analogy is Juan Marichal taking a bat to John Roseboro
            .
            http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on-baseball/24368857/two-amazing-photos-of-famous-juan-marichaljohn-roseboro-brawl
            .

            Utley had to be suspended

    • bloopie2 says:

      Yeah, Greg Hardy was a jerk for saying what he did, but so what? He’s just a football player; I can’t believe that anyone would waste his or her brain power paying attention to him unless he’s talking about football tactics and strategy,
      .
      And CNN’s Rachel Nichols’ question to Goodell is way off base. “What do you think about a representative of the NFL talking about women that way, especially coming back from a suspension that he is coming back from?” Give me a break. Hardy is a representative of the NFL? Now that’s trash talk.

  12. scribe says:

    In the course of their chatter about the Biebs and Edelman, the CBS talkers noted that during the off-season, Biebs took Edelman up to 9000 feet in Montana to work out and train.
    .
    One has to wonder what the pressure in the balls was there, whether they adjusted the pressure to deal with the lower ambient air pressure at altitude, whether the balls were too hard or too soft, and so on. Inquiring minds want to know.
    .
    Also, I’m wondering where Bmaz, between bouts with the tequila bottle, managed to find the picture of King Roger the Clown sitting with Sweet Judy Blew Lies. Priceless.

    • Bay State Librul says:

      Are you suggesting that Brady tempted Edelman ala Matthew 4:9?

      ——————-
      Matthew 4:1-11New King James Version (NKJV)

      Satan (Brady) Tempts Jesus (Edelman)

      8 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain in Montana, and showed Him all the football stadiums of the world and their glory. 9 And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will inflate the ball”
      —–

      Well, you know the end of the story

  13. Bay State Librul says:

    Who can beat the Pats 30-6
    Cowboys suck.
    The revenge continues
    The Colts next week
    Are we cheating?

    • emptywheel says:

      Well, there ARE the illegal picks (though others in the league have copied them now). But that’s on the refs for not calling them.

      • Bay State Librul says:

        Losing our draft pick in Deflategate was also an illegal pick

        Second half adjustment

        Bill Belichick explained that the Cowboys gave the Patriots “a look we hadn’t seen them do before” — a 3-2-6 defense that smothered the Patriots’ receivers and forced the quick-triggered Tom Brady to hold onto the football longer than usual.

        “It took a little while for us to adjust to it, to get a handle on what they were doing,” Belichick said.

  14. bloopie2 says:

    “Further, the statement that “Utley was nowhere near the base” is simply false. In the course of the play, and about at the moment of impact, Utley was ON THE BASE”
    .
    That is wrong. Go see the replay, link below He never touched the bag before tackling the fielder.
    .
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkRHdO_cNr8

  15. bloopie2 says:

    Let’s get rid of that “neighborhood rule” also. Other places in the game it’s important exactly where something is or isn’t. Why not here? Unless it’s designed to protect the fielder from takeout slides. In which case ban both. In many ways Baseball is an antique, and so people think it’s horrid flaws are “cute”. But just because it’s Baseball, doesn’t mean it’s right or even good.
    .
    In the end, I guess it was a typical takeout slide, that they let go every day. Just another reason not to like the game any more (I remember games well under two hours in length, for example — much more desirable to watch.)

    • What Constitution? says:

      I have to side with Scribe, and with Utley, on the slide. The “reason” (not “fault”, just why it happened) for the injury was the shortstop wasn’t in the air when Utley got there. With his foot planted, the takeout slide might have upended him, but he would have dusted himself off — but with spikes in the ground, that’s one heck of a collision. The decision to have his left foot planted in the ground in the path of an oncoming runner was the shortstop’s call in reaction to a less-than-perfect feed from a second baseman who made a great stop up the middle, but couldn’t make a toss that would “lead” the SS into the base while moving generally toward first for the throw: the SS placed his right foot perfectly to receive the throw and jump off his right foot, kicking second base while throwing to first with his left leg safely up and out of the way of the runner. But when the throw came in behind him, the SS had to turn his body toward center to catch it and a straight throw to first wouldn’t have worked. The SS made the split second decision to step through onto his left foot, but also decided he would be out of position to throw to first while facing right field, and he reacted by deciding to try the incredibly acrobatic spin move to his left so he could throw across his body to first with something on the ball. Creative and confident decision, but it took about .02 seconds too long. Collision with a guy he knew was coming in on that side of the base. It’s isn’t a “fault” thing, it’s a baseball thing. Google “Jeter double play” and you’ll see dozens of photos of what the play looks like done right with a perfect lead throw. It’s not right to blame Utley for that. And the way to get past the idea that the Mets would either want to retaliate or “have to” retaliate, the Dodgers could always hold Utley out until the bases are loaded and then bring him in to pinch hit……

      • bmaz says:

        Yeah, I think that is exactly right. It was a very hard baseball play by Utley, one you probably would not see made in a regular season game, but these are the playoffs and it was still a baseball play.

  16. P J Evans says:

    Utley has apologized to Tejada.

    And in other news, Steve Sarkisian has been suspended indefinitely by USC. Reports are that he appeared ‘intoxicated’ at the last game, and he’s also described as ‘not well’.

  17. Jim White says:

    .
    Aw, fuck it all! Multiple outlets are reporting that Will Grier has been suspended for a year for PED (steroid) use. What an idiot…
    .
    Back to Treon Harris as starter and the backup is a converted wide receiver from Vandy.
    .
    Clearly, the Gators have an issue dealing with prosperity. At least McElwain isn’t pulling an Urban Meyer and hiding the suspension as an “injury”.
    .
    If this is true, McElwain should yank Grier’s scholarship today. Grier needn’t worry, though, he can always sign to play for Cheatin’ Bill.

    • Bay State Librul says:

      Substitute Cheatin’ Bill with Cheatin’ Roger

      Monday Morning QB

      – I think one thing I heard out of the league meetings in New York last week disturbed me. Commissioner Roger Goodell was asked if the data from testing air pressure in footballs in random games this fall will be released to the public. “I don’t know,” he replied. In the random games, the league is testing the air pressure of the footballs before the game (as always) and then again at halftime. Officials will log the data, then remove those balls from play. In the second half, 12 backup balls per team will be used, and then those balls will be gauged and the measurements logged after the game. Goodell said before the Wells report was released that the league would be totally transparent and we would know what Wells knew when Wells finished the report. So why is this different? I can guess. The NFL wants to reserve the right to not issue the measurements if it makes the league’s case against Tom Brady look bad

    • Bay State Librul says:

      Shit Florida is living up to its Urban Dictionary definition

      The godforsaken Sunshine State renowned for weather and beaches. Florida is noteworthy for having no discernible season changes. Well-known for its subpar education system, Florida is home to Florida State University, a party school known for its football team and its acceptance of anyone who has a pulse and can spell his or her own name correctly. The population here is an amalgam of inhabitants from elsewhere; if you wish to find a retired New Yorker, go to any one of Boca Raton’s 5,000 retirement communities; if you want to find a Latino/Hispanic/person whose first language is Spanish, turn around. Florida is a geographic anomaly in that the farther north you travel, the more Southern it seems (and sounds like), and the farther south you go, the more it seems like Cuba (as evidenced by the Little Havana area of Miami). Still, Florida, as a whole, is without an easily recognizable dialect. All place names here are either of Spanish (Punta Gorda, Boca Ciega) or Native American (Tallahassee, Econolockhatchee River) origin, or contain the word “orange” in them. Florida decor has inexplicably come to mean “a seafoam green and pink couch with a watercolor pelican painting.” Floridians are not known for good taste; also missing are driving skills, especially in the frequent rain, and voting know-how.

      -“Florida’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live here.”

      -“Bah! Go back to Boston, you snowbird

  18. JohnT says:

    Anyway, in other news Jeb! Bush did NOT, I repeat NOT, smoke weed with Bill Belichick

    Please tell me this is just a desperate attempt by a floundering Jeb?!? to seem like one of the cool kids, and not that BilBel is actually friends with that moran

    • P J Evans says:

      I don’t think Jebya! would have associated with BillBel when they were college age. For one thing, I wouldn’t think BillBel would have gone to the same kind of schools.

    • What Constitution? says:

      Congratulations Cubbies, congratulations phred.

      But today is the anniversary of The Steve Bartman Incident, you know. Here’s hoping somebody has taken proper steps to assure that Mr. Bartman is not going to attend any upcoming Cubs games between now and, oh, 2016.

      And since the Cubbies’ eventual victory is already documented in Back to the Future, I’d hate to be one of the teams remaining in their path right now. So long as Bartman is under control.

      • phred says:

        LOL, I had forgotten about that! For that matter, I had forgotten Back to the Future II, too…
        .
        Good to know Cubs fans paying attention back in 2003 simply had to “have faith that the universe will unfold as it should” (Spock, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country ; )
        .
        Go CUBS!!!

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