A Christmas Limerick from Limerick

In Limerick Christmas is here

No Trumpsters with guns do I fear

I write on this blog

Share craic and talk grog

From EU I send readers cheer


93 replies
  1. emptywheel says:

    I didn’t realize that I should learn to write limericks until Rosalind tried it last thread.
    I confess I need as much practice as she seems to!

    This picture is from a few days ago, from Barrington Pier. There’s always a heron there, as well as a swan couple, particularly when the tide is low and the mudflats are exposed.

        • Savage Librarian says:

          But it definitely brought a twinkle to these pale eyes in their pasty face. That’s the kind of high I can really appreciate, learning a new word.

          Speaking of EU, do you know anyone that makes potica (or povitica as some call it?) I ordered some from the vicinity of Peterr’s neck of the woods. It’s the closest I could find to the kind my mom used to bake during the holidays. I like the ones made with walnuts. Yum, yum.

          • Nord Dakota says:

            Potica??? I grew up on Minnesota’s Iron Range, where immigrants arrived in the late 1800s to 1930s and later from farms to work in iron (later taconite) mines. Potica always showed up at pot lucks and the Moose Club (parents belonged) holiday buffets. You can still order it from the Italian Bakery in Virginia, MN (https://www.potica.com/). My parents went back to the farm upon retiring but when someone was travelling back there we’d buy it for mom. It was the kind of thing we kids wouldn’t touch (mom always bought her own pint of maple nut ice cream, knowing that with us nuts in a sweet was like a wooden cross pointed at Dracula).

            A lot of local women baked it, of course. I’ve made it a couple of times but nothing like what the Italian Bakery makes, and they have had customers all over the planet for decades.

        • xy xy says:

          Talk about sucky limericks (by the way, nothing sucky about anything you do), here’s one that really sucks: montcopa.org/3316/Limerick-Generating-Station

    • Eureka says:

      My mom used to make grog! I will have to get on that.

      And you don’t want your limericking to outshine that wow photo. It’s my favorite of the ones you’ve shared, the birdie footprints…the impressionistic water. Reminds me of my grandmother’s favorite painting.

      So the whole thing works just fine. Brought me some Christmas cheer!

      Merriment to you and yours.

      • Chirrut Imwe says:

        I was going to post to the Happy Holiday’s open forum that we were making glug (grog) yesterday, but everyone posting there seems so intimate that it felt like crashing the party. After lurking for so long, I do feel like I kinda know some of you all from afar. I did enjoy your limerick, Marcy.

        Our glug: mulled wine (1 part port, 2 parts hearty burgundy), plus almonds and raisins, simmered for the afternoon. Then the piece de resistance – put sugar cubes in a shallow pan, pour in 80+ proof bourbon whisky, and light that sucker. Once the sugar has melted and caramelized, add to the wine and enjoy.

        I hope everyone has a festive end to this sucky year, and hope for a much better and brighter 2022.

        • bmaz says:

          Naw, you are welcome on any of the threads! And the whole purpose of Trash Talk threads is to allow people to partake at full speed. So, never hesitate.

        • Eureka says:

          Thanks for sharing. I don’t know if it’s because apple cider season transitions into grog season but I seem to recall some cinnamony odors.

          • Chirrut Imwe says:

            Oh, there is plenty of cinnamon…

            Mulling Spices (wrapped in cheesecloth):
            Cinnamon sticks
            Cardamon seeds (cracked open)
            (actual) Orange peel

            We just kinda wing in on amounts – maybe 8 or 10 cinnamon sticks, not quite a full palm-full of cardamon & cloves. I don’t think you can over do it (but you can under do it) on the mulling.

            • Eureka says:

              Ah, yes — now we’re cooking some boozy delights!

              Winging is the discerning chemist’s way to go. So glad you’re sharing, this will def make for a hearty [Christmas] 2022.

    • Tim Boone says:

      A few years ago we visited Leamy House in Limerick to see the Frank McCourt museum. Had a great time there, although Galway is our first love. Envy you living there

  2. Peterr says:

    A Limerick Epic
    for a Epic Writer in Limerick

    In KC I’m just out of bed
    and coffee will soon clear my head
    The Kid is now makin’
    eggs fried up with bacon.
    Now on to see what Marcy’s said. . .

    This gal with a background in lit’
    is a blogger with dev’lish strong grit
    Most readers are jealous,
    her passion, most zealous,
    for research and taking no shit.

    The commenters here are a gift
    who read each new post, oh so swift.
    They marvel and cheer,
    They question and jeer,
    giving trolls and their leaders short shrift.

    The lurkers, we also must thank
    whose comment box always is blank.
    Inspir’d as they ponder,
    wheree’r they may wander,
    to fight – take that to the bank.

    Let DC stenographers cry
    and resident Villagers sigh
    Let plotters be warned
    and grifters be scorned
    for judgment — Thanks Marcy! — is nigh.

    Thanks Marcy, indeed.

    • John Lehman says:

      “I feel like I should have photoshopped this…”
      …if so very, very carefully, keeping a copy of the original.
      The original is very beautiful and professional looking as is. Working on it in photoshop may or may not be successful.
      The danger being changing a great photo into something kitschy.

      • John Paul Jones says:

        One very simple trick.

        Check “Levels” in Photoshop.

        4 options: RGB/Red/Green/Blue.

        Skip RGB. Go to the others one at a time and look at the histogram. If there are gaps at the ends of the histogram, slide until the marker contacts the histogram, and maybe a bit more.

        A large spike on the right end usually means a highlight somewhere in the image. Ignore, and again, move the slider to where the histogram begins.

        Do this for each of the three colours. It will usually re-balance things.

        If you don’t like the results, go to “Edit” and either Undo, or Fade the edit by whatever percentage looks good to you.

  3. DAT says:

    Lovely picture. Lovely limerick. Lovely post and lovely blog. A lovely Christmas, and dare I hope it, a lovely new year to all.

  4. biff murphy says:

    Maybe I too should retire there
    I get so tired of the antics here
    The people here are getting so mean
    And my soul cry’s out for the shades of green
    While I wait alone for the likes of Kris Kringle
    My heart yearns more for the Peninsula of Dingle
    When i have some time to kill
    I’ll climb to the top of Carrauntoohil
    Every August when a Goat is made king
    I’ll head to Brazen Head for a fine day of drinking

    MerryChristmas to all- biff murphy

      • John Lehman says:

        A house on the bay in Nantucket
        Was the place he delivered the bucket
        When he got to the place
        It was just empty space
        So he slammed down his pail and yelled f*** it

      • John Lehman says:

        A reply to the B man quite cute
        Is he asking for my horn to toot?
        By a reference to John…
        For a Limerick respond
        Of Nantucket’s long known repute

        Or is this “John…” a gentle reply
        To “John Forde” another guy
        This has me confused
        And rather amused
        That it’s a gentle scold with a sigh

    • vvv says:

      There was a young man from Nantucket
      Who had in his list of the bucket
      To never again hear from his friend deep in beer
      About a checkpoint and how to duck it

  5. Badger Robert says:

    The limerick rhymes are too easy,
    They all come out somewhat sleazy.
    Its best not to start,
    But we haven’t the heart.
    So bring on short poems that are cheesy,

    • Savage Librarian says:


      It might have become sacrilegious
      to be anything but prodigious,
      Former guy who cries foul
      as he empties his bowel
      persistently spews the litigious.

  6. Peterr says:

    A lawyer named bmaz is prickly,
    For the law and the process, most stickly.
    As the res’dent curmudgeon,
    fools and trolls, he does bludgeon;
    they beat feet for the exits most quickly.

  7. Peterr says:

    To Rayne, raise your glasses and mugs
    for her ceaseless attention to bugs.
    Backstage and out front,
    she’s delightfully blunt.
    “Check the byline” and give her your hugs.

  8. Peterr says:

    Puns are welcome here, as is trash talking
    as relief from the endlessly stalking
    of conmen and liars
    and those who light fires
    with disdain for democracy – shocking!

  9. scribe says:

    No limericks here – not feeling poetic today. Fun to read others’, though.

    Ham’s ready to go into the oven, potatoes are already there, baking.

    The 506 tells me it’s an interesting weekend of productions from the No Fun League – with Biebs and Tompa Bay stacking up against my Stillers for the late games tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how the Bucs do after losing Godwin to an ACL and Noted Malefactor Antonio Brown to idiocy. My Stillers are staggering toward the end, likely to slide into the 7th playoff spot and then lose quickly and quietly. Just the other day their OL coach – a favorite of opposing defenders looking to plump their sack numbers – announced he’s got a new gig, back in college. Given the way their O-line has not protected Ben, no one will be sad to see him go.

    At least we’re not as desperate as the Saints, who tried unsuccessfully to get Drew Fookin’ Brees to unretire before they did the football equivalent of winding up at Denny’s and signed Blake Bortles.

    Still, my Stillers could win the AFC North, something not even the most deluded of their fans would have dared predict in September. Covid has messed with the schedule, and odds, like that they were on that old board game “Trouble”, the one with the dice in the Pop-o-Matic bubble dome. Just when you think things have been sorted out, the hand of Corona whacks the bubble, snake eyes come up, and makes a hash out of everything. Go back 7 squares or something.

    The Man in Red stopped by last night, left some nice stuff but not too much. I plan on moving again in spring, so more stuff is not high on my list of things desired. I’ll have to move it, after all.

    Other than that, a quiet, peaceful holiday. Something to treasure in its simplicity.

    Best to all.

    • Peterr says:

      I think you are reading the schedule wrong, scribe. Tampa Bay plays at noon vs the Panthers and the Stillers are visiting the COVID-stricken Chefs in the mid-afternoon. At one point this week, the Chefs COVID list had TEs Travis Kelce, WR Tyreek Hill, K Harrison Butker, P Tommy Townsend, and various other folks on both sides of the ball.

      There have been folks who have been cleared to play again, but Butker is a definite out for Sunday and they’ve been scrambling to figure out how to patch so many holes. For placekicks, there’s a dance between the longsnapper, the holder (generally the punter or a backup QB), and the kicker. For KC, only the longsnapper is not a replacement, and that trio has been putting in a ton of work this week to get ready.

      The last chance for anyone to be cleared to play is 3pm today, and lots of Chefs fans are holding their breath to see who will and will not be on the field come Sunday. It’s not clear from reports who tested positive vs was a close contact, nor who is and is not vaccinated. (It appears from the protocol he is following, though, that Butker is unvaccinated.)

    • bmaz says:

      Scribe, it is almost like you missed the actual Trash Talk thread. Guess yer Stillers miss Bubby Brister at this point.

      • scribe says:

        Glimpsed at the trash thread, something recently more noted by its absence. Drove on b/c this thread is fresher and bound to attract more attention.

        I was reading off the 506 schedule, which may have been out of date.

        Regardless, Tomlin delenda est.

        • bmaz says:

          Well, if attention is what you seek, Bubby Brister would likely serve the Steelers better at this point as opposed to that rubber armed rapist.

        • bmaz says:

          On a more positive note, just saw a Porsche commercial that appeared like it started at the Porsche museum you once forwarded pictures of. That was kind of cool. Though not sure Porsche is going to live or die via EVs.

          • scribe says:

            Their Super Bowl commercial last year or the year before started there.

            A friend has ridden in the Taycan. The acceleration is such that one should be aware of the good chance of whiplash. My problem with electro-Porsches is they are too damn quiet coming up on pedestrians. I was almost run down by a 918 like that.

            I had to watch only the first Steelers’ offensive series to know they would get their asses kicked.

            So I spun the dial.

              • Eureka says:

                They put it back on after the riveting Carr kneeldowns.

                Meanwhile I’m pissed I have to watch the December debut of Saint BDN and in a snow game online (via twitter, gamecast, etc.) like I’m running a NASA console.

                ETA: had to: final 25/24 Bearss.

                Now why they couldn’t have busted him out last week for MNF I’ll never understand (and your Stillers getting Skolled a couple weeks back was also not helpful for my plans).

  10. harpie says:

    I just have a moment to drop in,
    but want to tell you ALL how much
    I appreciate this AMAZING community!

  11. Hopeful says:

    Thank you, Dr Wheeler.

    As always for your postings, I had to go to Wikipedia to fully understand, this time for your limerick. Sometimes it’s Google.

    You have taught me so over the years, I am very appreciative and I hope for much more learning about, and understanding, complex issues in 2022.

  12. emptywheel says:

    I made King Pao rutabega (swede, here), bc I changed my mind and decided to make szechuan duck.

    It came out really really well.

    • Leoghann says:

      Szechuan peppercorns and sauce need something strong, so as not to overwhelm the dish. Rutabaga is definitely up to that task. Sounds really interesting.

      • Peacerme says:

        Happy holidays to all! I love that Emptywheel is safe in such a beautiful place while we dodge bullets, health care costs and bullets trying to survive in the red states. Every year I say the same thing. This blog is my sanity. I’ve been taken to task by Bmaz at times over the years. One time, and this is embarrassing, was because I was certain that there had been election fraud when Bush won against Gore. I think in my passion, I might have suggested an insurrection. However, in fairness I don’t own a gun and had no connection with a large group of radicals. Well other than you folks. Where I was corrected by Bmaz, that the election was certified and over and to discuss such things, unpatriotic or democratic. The irony has not been lost on me that at some point I might have been as crazy as a trumper against George Bush. But that’s why I love this place. It’s amazing how a group of characters I never met, can mean so much to the world.

        Now to rutabagas. We have them at every special. One year it was my turn to bring them. There was a big huge box of them at Hy-Vee. I had never seen a huge box full. Usually a small number in a bin. There were labeled rutabagas with a big sign. They seemed bigger. And a little different than usual. We peeled and cut them up. Didn’t seem quite right. Turns out they were jicama!! And jicama boiled and diced with butter and salt was not consumable. Tasted awful bland. This happened about 15 years ago. To this day, someone asks for the jicama!

        Nothing better than the combo of duck and rutabagas!! Mmmm mmm!!

        Love you all!

        Wavpeac (circa Last Hurrah!)
        Katie Jensen (Dog…something. why can’t I remember the name?)
        And finally Peacerme coming to EmptyWheel!!

        The limericks, the song lyrics, the trash talks, the brilliant minds who have past but stay in my mind more clearly than some of my relatives.

        If we are going to save this democracy, it will happen because of sites like this. ❤️

  13. Doctor My Eyes says:

    There was a young lad in Limerick.
    Who chose early on not to temper it.
    Her analysis clear,
    Into crooks she struck fear,
    For she called out each cheap legal gimmerick.

    Best wishes to all. Thanks for the work. My dearest wish for the coming year is that facts will continue to matter.

  14. Tom says:

    Limericks can seem rather gimmicky
    To those folks whose tastes are too finicky.
    If you’re a bit of a prude
    They can seem downright rude,
    Just like a swift kick in the privities.

  15. I Never Lie and am Always Right says:

    There once was a Trumper named Rudy
    Who had a most warped sense of duty.
    He will look very well
    In a Greybar Motel
    Where no longer will he be a foodie.

    Or if you prefer, a song for those who drive somewhere with their families for the holidays.

    These Three Things

    These three things go pack in the car.
    Pack them well – we’re traveling far.
    Kids will fight and kids will scream
    While we drive our car. Oh—-
    Car of wonder, car of might.
    Car that takes us through the night.
    Westward heading, on a drive we’re dreading,
    Hope we don’t get lost tonight.

    Limericks are a personal favorite of mine; some of my ancestors came from a townsland near Limerick. Ireland is truly God’s Country.

    • John Lehman says:

      Proud Portlander’s post

      Koko ni kite
      Nihon no haru hi
      Teru gotoshi

      Here, miles from Japan,
      I stand as if warmed by the
      Spring sunshine of home.
      – Shuoshi Mizuhara

      The Portland Japanese Garden has only one poetic inscription in stone—a haiku written especially for this Garden,
      by renowned 20th century Japanese haiku poet, Shuoshi Mizuhara (1892-1981) upon his visit to the Portland Japanese Garden in 1966

      Home is where the heart is: a pdf


      • John Lehman says:

        Ghazal ? Ghazals !!

        The poetry would then be sweet..
        Super sweet…drip, drip, dripping in honey sweet
        Teenage love intense….mead inebriating sweet…

        Welcome to Middle Eastern Poetry 101

      • John Lehman says:

        How about a town named Slam?

        With Oregon’s current Poet Laureate we should rename Portland “Slam Ghazal” or “Ghazal Slam” as he (Anis Mojgani) is of Iranian background (Persians renowned for their Ghazals) and a two-time individual champion of the National Poetry Slam and winner of the International World Cup Poetry Slam.

        Here’s the Oregon Poet Laureate website


        and Anis Mojgani’s website


  16. Leoghann says:

    I actually quite liked your limerick, Marcy. And the photo is wonderful–so quiet.

    Maybe, for 2022, the expression, “now you’re just talking grog” needs to become a thing.

  17. joel fisher says:

    I learn the news from Emptywheel
    Because ignorance has lost its appeal.
    With Intelligent blogging, they get the jump
    In wising me up and calling out Trump
    So I look forward to hearing him squeal.

  18. Ewan says:

    That Irish heron sure looks haughty
    Craning like a stork for a bounty
    A fish for a feasting
    A wish for a mating
    A limerick should be naughty

    • emptywheel says:


      Actually the heron has nested in the neighborhood. Loud birds when they’re protecting spawn.

  19. pdaly says:

    Late to the party. Was hosting some family until just a few hours ago.
    Glad to see everyone here again this year at emptywheel.

    I tried my hand just now at a limerick. It highlights Marcy’s self-described difficulty with pop culture which I am confident is not really a problem as she tracks people many times more obscure!

    E.W., the journalist of great note
    Ticks off clown car passenger names as if by rote.
    She reads footnotes with ease, uncovers graft, grift, or sleaze,
    Yet seeks help with pop culture quotes!

  20. punaise says:

    A late entry:

    From somewhere up near Ypsilanti
    To Eire she sailed off with her man “T”(?)

    From FireDogLake
    To what’s now at stake
    Her writing is sharp but not slanty

    (Sorry, kind of boxed myself in with the place name)

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