Zombie Trash

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Because it has been confirmed that the Zombie Apocalypse is upon us, the task of taking out this weekend’s trash has been pushed onto me as the least senior (and most expendable) of the Emptywheel blogging team. Well, maybe it’s not just the zombies. It turns out that bmaz gave himself quite a scare last weekend bragging so much on Dallas, only for his beloved Arizona State Forkers to nearly lose their super regional [at home!] to Mr.  EW’s new crush the Louisiana Lafayette Ragin Cajuns. Now he wants to avoid a new jinx this weekend. Anyway, the 2009 video above shows that we’ve been onto this zombie thing for a long time here in Gainesville. Why yes, I do know those guys. The lead singer is a respected Professor of Chemistry during the day and the keyboardist is one of the first people I met here in Gainesville. He was my primary attorney during most of the time I was a “businessman” here. Oh, and the blond guitar player is a bar owner/music promoter.

The zombies of last year’s incredibly bad umpiring returned to the Women’s College World Series (you can catch up on the current situation here) last night. I had the Forkers and Ducks on in the background while doing a few other things and smiled as the Ducks put up a run in the top of the first. But when I looked up a bit later, it was in the third inning and the Forkers were ahead 1-0. WTF? I rewound the action on my DVR only to find that the umpires have decided they have to help the Forkers again this year and they took away Oregon’s first run on a very shaky call that the Duck left third base too soon on a sacrifice fly. Earlier in the day, Oklahoma looked very formidable against South Florida, who is subbing for Florida after their lockerroom brawl just before the first regional game here resulted in three starters being ejected from the program. The locals here in Gainesville seem to be supporting Tim Walton for “taking control of the situation” but I have serious doubts about his abilities if he allowed things to get to such a sorry state at such a critical time in the season. I’m also a bit biased and think that women should be head coaches on women’s teams.

My prediction is that this year’s series will come down to Alabama and the Forkers, with a chance that the home crowd could help the Sooners to be in the mix, too. I jumped on the “A train” as soon as Florida was eliminated, backing Bama and their star pitcher Jackie Traina. Read more →

Dallas Trash Talk

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That’s right mofo’s, we gots us a full on food fight here on the Emptywheel blog.

What’s it all about? Well, when you get down to it, it is ALL about Dallas.

No, I am not talking about J.R. Ewing (and who shot him – psssst it was Bing Crosby’s daughter), Bobby Ewing, Sue Ellen, Pamela, Christopher or John Ross. No, I am not talking about that Dallas. Although, I would like to note, the New Dallas premiers on TNT channel on June 13th and, all things considered, it looks very appropriately oily and greasy just like the original Dallas. And, I have to confess, I loved the original Dallas. In fact, my roommates and I had the most awesome tux & tails “Who Shot JR” party you can imagine when I was in graduate school in Boulder. It was a certified event in the Boulder social scene of the day. The trailer for the New Dallas is to the right. Get used to it, there is likely to be more of this!

But that is NOT the Dallas I am talking about here today. Oh no. No, the Dallas I am talking about here and today is Dallas Escobedo. Most awesome champion pitcher for the Arizona State University Lady Sun Devils.

That would be the Defending NCAA Champion ASU Sun Devils. Thank you very much.

And, as luck would have it, Dallas and the Devils are back in the hunt for the 2012 College Softball World Series. Tonight they play their first 2012 Super Regional game against Louisiana Lafayette at – oh wait – that would at Alberta B. Farrington Stadium; conveniently the home of the Lady Sun Devils!

So what about the Emptywheel blog food fight?? Oh, well, you see we now have this SEC interloper guy, Jim White. Honestly, it was distressing enough that I had to share time with an itinerant Big-10, Big-10.2, Big-10.2.5 – hell whatever – woman, but now the Gators are representing?? Well, I just don’t know anymore.

If you are from Alabama, do NOT troll this post! You see, the Crimson Tide (another criminal SEC team!) is, as we speak, playing the Michigan Wolverweenies in another Super-Regional. This is REALLY painful for me. Go Big Blue!

This post will keep reappearing on top of things so long as the Real Dallas, Escobedo edition, and the Lady Devils keep winning. ASU Baybeeee!

Kentucky Derby Trash Talk: A Run For The Roses & Missing Mary

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If it is the first Saturday in May, it is Kentucky Derby day. And so it is again today. We dabble with the ponies occasionally here at the Emptywheel blog, from previous Derby Trash Talks, to our coverage of the historic battles of super filly Zenyatta against the biggest and baddest boys of the horse racing world. Heck, we even have our own fearless roving reporter, Rosalind, monitoring the pending debut of Zenyatta’s little sister, Eblouissante.

But, by far, it was our friend and colleague Mary who kept up our equine quotient here. Her tales from her farm, in the actual horse country of Kentucky, were a constant over the years. Whether it was the feeding and common chores to care for her horses, saving ones in trouble, to making sure they were ready for incoming storms, it was a slice of life we don’t often stop to ponder in the fast paced politi-legal world we generally do here. Mary loved racing horses more than the actual racing really. For the big race days she would always say something to the effect of “oh, I’ll probably just be working on the farm for that”. Yet, later would say “well, I found a few minutes to see Rachel Alexandra run, wow what a race!”

Mary’s voice, sadly, left us just before last Christmas and, frankly, we are still reeling a little from the loss. Communities need glue, and she was part of ours. The first thing I thought when the Derby chatter started up this year was “Damn, I miss Mary”. So, our Trash Talk and Derby coverage this week is dedicated to Mary. In honor, one of our longtime good friends of the blog has put together an amazing video, which is at the top of this post, and has a powerful ending. Give it a watch please. If you are new here and did not know Mary, here is the original memoriam we did.

So, there is a real live Derby today. It has not been one of the years with a big noisy media buildup. While we would probably know Andrew Cohen, the CBS News and The Atlantic legal analyst more for his work in the law, he is a completely devoted and involved soul in the world of Read more →

Bahrain Drain: Oppressive US Client State Sucks The Life Out Of Formula One

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[UPDATE] Qualifying went off without much hitch this morning, at least inside the circuit. Outside the circuit, the body of a protester was found, dead after a night of clashes with government authorities and police. Inside the confines of the circuit, Sebastian Vettel regained qualifying form and took his first pole of the season, followed by Lewis Hamilton, Mark Webber and Jenson Button. Schumacher didn’t even manage to get out of Q1. Unlike the desolate practice yesterday, there were at least some fans observable in the main grandstand for qualifying today. But the scene was still as bleak and lifeless as I have ever seen for a F1 Grand Prix. It remains an embarrassment for FIA and the teams (FOTA) to be in Bahrain. And, as I pointed out yesterday, the lie that FIA and Bernie Ecclestone comfort themselves with – that they are being non-political by going and not giving in to international political concerns – is absurd and outrageous. The oppressive Sunni minority and the ruling Khalifa clan are using the mere presence of F1 in Sakhir to paint the picture that everything is okay with the Shia majority in Bahrain. It is not, and F1 looks like a tool. – bmaz 10:30 am EST Sat Apr. 21

Formula One is in Bahrain. There is no good reason, save for greed, that Formula One is in Bahrain this weekend but, nevertheless, there it is. As I write this report, practice is underway. The most expensive and technologically sophisticated racing motorcars in the world are on the track and at speed. The factory Mercedes of Nico Rosberg and Michael Schumacher are fighting with the Red Bulls of Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber for the fast times in practice. Ferrari and McLaren are trying to catch up.

The scene is surreal in how vacant and empty it is. There are no people, no crowds, no passenger cars in the surrounding lots, no motorhomes in the infield. There is no party. There is no circus. There are no people. F1 is not lovingly referred to by longtime aficionados as “the circus” for nothing, it is the circus. F1 brings the press, the families, the hangers on, the beautiful women, the beautiful people – and the press that follow them. It is a traveling roadshow party of epic proportions, and always has been.

But not now, not today, not in Bahrain. The cars are there, and there are apparently drivers piloting them, but save for the team engineers and pit hands, there does not appear to be a living sole at the Bahrain International Circuit in Sakhir. It looks like a scene from The Twilight Zone where all the people have been disappeared from the face of the earth.

It might have been like this last year, but Bahrain was yanked from the F1 calendar, with the sport’s godfather like mafia don, Bernie Ecclestone, lamely saying at the time:

“The truth of the matter is we put the calendar together and the teams race on the calendar,” he said. “We were trying to help Bahrain, who have been very helpful to Formula One, and hoping they could get themselves sorted out.

“I don’t know whether there is peace or not. I have no idea. The FIA sent somebody out to check and they said it was all OK. I think the teams had different information and they have the right to say they don’t want to change the calendar.”

The truth of the matter was that it pained Ecclestone greatly to not give Bahrain, and its heavy handed ruling Khalifa family, its cherished F1 race last year, and Bernie and the F1 moneychangers were not about to skip it a second year, so there they are.

I know people whose life it is to follow F1 and document it, it is their profession. It was their father’s profession before them. It is their life. They are not in Bahrain. Presumably, as effectively permanent attachments to the sport, they could have gotten in; they just refused to go. Just having the option is more than most journalists can say. From the AFP:

Bahrain has denied visas to foreign journalists and photographers, including from AFP, to cover this Sunday’s controversial Grand Prix race.

An AFP photographer, accredited by the sport’s governing body, the FIA (Federation Internationale de l’Automobile), was informed by Bahrain’s information affairs authority that there has been a “delay to your visa application, so it might not be processed.”

Associated Press said two of its Dubai-based journalists were prevented from covering the Grant Prix because they could not receive entry visas, despite being accredited by the FIA.

Meanwhile, cameramen already in Bahrain were required to keep fluorescent orange stickers on their cameras so that they would be easily recognisable to ensure they do not cover any off-track events, such as ongoing protests.

What might the journalists report on were they allowed in Bahrain? Maybe the petrol bomb attack members of the Force India racing team were caught up in. The incident so shook the team that it Read more →

God so loved the world he gave the Jets Tim Tebow

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[youtube]Hd6awqDpUe0[/youtube]

As Watertiger said on Twitter,

Welcome to Gomorrah, Touchdown Jesus. #youhavegottobekiddingme

There’s some other NFL news, too, about the Saints being slammed for their bounties. But that’s nowhere near as funny as the thought of Tim Tebow in NY.

Update: Ut oh. Maybe Goddess doesn’t love the world as much as I hoped.

Filed to ESPN (1): Denver and Jets have encountered hangup in language in Tim Tebow’s contract that could nullify trade

Real Fast & Legitimate Trash Talk!

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I feel confident you were all as traumatized as I was by the counterfeit Trash Talk appearing recently on these hallowed threads! Apparently, simply because this blog is named “Emptywheel”, people named Emptywheel think they can just stroll in and post up trash. Madness, I tell you, madness!

Hmmmm, speaking of Madness, turns out it is March, and we haz some going on with the student athletes of the roundball variety. Yesterday, not one, BUT TWO, second seeded teams were upset by 15 seeds. Tiny Norfolk State, appropriately led by Kevin O’Quinn on the eve of St. Patricks Day, took out the well regarded Missouri Tigers. Then joy in the hearts of haters everywhere was ignited by Lehigh crushing the Dookies.

For the women, hate to say it, but Obama is right, Brittney Griner and Baylor look unstoppable, though I have a sentimental hope for Pat Summitt. My sleeper to watch are the Delaware Blue Hens, led by maybe the real story of the year, Elena Delle Donne. If you don’t know the story of Elena, you should. The Hens have a shot.

In NFL news and notes, the Arizona Cardinals are left at the altar again. We went through this with Joe Montana, and now again with freaking Peyton. Marcy’s anti-Peyton rap all these years was clearly spot on the money. But, hey, we get to keep Kevin Kolb. Yay. Looked like the Donkos were in the lead, then the Titans, and now the 49ers have pulled even. Who knows. I am probably joining Steve Young and leaning SF because that is the best overall chance for a championship fast, and Peyton needs to catch up to Little Bro. The Bolts have had a decent off season, but losing Vincent Jackson is tough. I still believe Matt Flynn can be a very quality starting QB, and still think he joins his old OC from the Pack, Joe Philbin, at the Fish, but the Squawks are in play. Talk amongst yourselves about all the rest of the ongoing free agency and draft news.

We all wait on pins and needles for Intrepid Emptywheel Roving Reporter Rosalind’s horse racing updates. Assuming she doesn’t get tipsy from St. Paddy’s Day, reportage on the baby shower for Zenyatta’s baby colt and the racing debut of Zenyatta’s little sister, Eblouissante is in the offing.

Of course, the real sports news this weekend is the opening of the 2012 Circus – The Formula One season! We again start down under in Oz, and both the track and the weather have been perfect and hot n’ fast so far. There are six – count em SIX – World Champions in this year’s field and on the grid in Melbourne. They all look fast too, even Michael Schumacher, who has been beleaguered by bad equipment since his comeback. Schuey came up a fast fourth in the factory Mercedes, and will be starting from the second row. McLaren owns the front row, with Lewis Hamilton looking killer on pole and Jenson Button right beside him. Seriously, and uncharacteristically, off the pace are the Red Bull boys back in the third row, Webber in P5 and Vettel in P6. As was, sadly, predicted over the winter, Ferrari is in trouble. Alonso went driveabout in the kitty litter, and bombed out in Q2; Fernando will start from P12. Felipe Massa is even worse, and is all the way back in P16. Best line, by a mile, I have heard of the new Circus season so far:

Two seasons of crashing rally cars has had no adverse impact on [Kimi Räikkönen’s] ability to speak Morse code.

If you have ever watched the Flighty Finn in a press conference, you know how spot on that is. Jeebus, I about keeled over laughing in the middle of a courtroom yesterday when I read that.

The official F1 site is here and has boatloads of great stories and helpful coverage, including live scoring if you sign in. It is worth joining for the live scoring. Old friend Brad Spurgeon has moved from the NYT to their international effort, the IHT (International Herald Tribune), but continues with his excellent on scene reportage.

The Australian Grand Prix goes off early Sunday morning/late Saturday night with coverage on Speed Channel starting at 1:30 am EST and 10:30 pm PST.

Music by The Faces. Rod is a little long in the tooth these days, but make no mistake, he, Ronnie Wood and Ian McLagan could really bring it in the day. Lite this joint up people, let there be Trash!

Here’s Your Dang March on Peyton’s Colts Trash Already!!!

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The people have issued their demands. And–belatedly–we’re responding.

Here’s your damned Trash.

I tried to talk bmaz into doing it, but he’s so torqued up about the hope of getting Peyton and the belief the Broncos will get him, I don’t think he’s up to it. So I’ll have to do it.

We’ll start with March Madness. I stopped watching mens hoops years ago. And in my old age, I’ve actually started enjoying women’s hoops more. (I love Baylor–Brittney Griner reminds me and Mr. EW of a guy we used to play ultimate with–super tall, looked like he (she) was running slow-motion, but gracefully kicks ass, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Texas A&M goes far again.) Plus, since OSU avenged their earlier season loss to the Wolvereenies by utterly shellacking UM over the weekend, I’m grumpy. But, hey, the MSU Spartans reportedly have the easiest bracket, so I’ll root for the local champs.

I have, however, been following the PeytonBowl.

Let me just say right now I don’t think Peyton is healthy. No one has had him throw!!!! I know he’s a legend, but don’t you ask him to throw before making this deal?!?! In fact, I was trying to console bmaz earlier that when the Broncos get Peyton, it’ll be just as well because if Peyton’s not healthy it’s better not to go through that drama (and deal Kolb, who I think is a better QB right now than Tebow). So let him go to the Broncos, let John Elway deal Tebow to Jacksonville, and let Peyton win a few more games for a very stiff price while freeing Elway of his little Tebow problem. A happy ending for almost everyone.

In any case, I think the Cardinals made a terrible mistake. I’m a bit partial to Spidey Fitzgerald. Okay, a lot partial to Spidey Fitzgerald. But if you’re trying to convince last decades’ legend he wants to retire in your city, don’t you have him throw to Spidey Fitz? As I noted, Peyton didn’t throw, period.

Finally, courtesy of Rosalind, here’s the colt that has won the week so far: Zenyatta’s baby. There’s apparently gonna be a big baby shower at Santa Anita this weekend–maybe Rosalind will give us some reporting from the scene.

Emptywheel’s Gigantic Patriotic Bad Ass Mega Super Bowl Trash Talk Houseparty

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It is SuperBowl weekend and the biggest story in Indianapolis is Peyton Manning. Probably not fair to Peyton, Indianapolis or the Giants and Pats, but such is how it seems to be playing out. The melodrama has served as a reminder that the Colts are still an Irsay family enterprise and the main difference between Robert “Midnight Mayflower” Irsay and his gabby son Jim is that Jim stumbled into Peyton Manning. Who knew all these years we have been facetiously calling them the “Indianapolis Peytons”, it was pretty much accurate?

Irsay has made almost as much of a hash of things the last couple of weeks as the Susan G. Komen Foundation, which is saying something. I wonder if Ari Fleischer is helping the Colts too? Remember, Ari “helped” the Packers with the Brett Favre separation too, and the end of the Peyton era in Indy is turning every bit as ugly. Manning claims to be cleared to play and is intent on resuming his career; clearly it looks to be in another city though. Hmmm, wonder if Larry Fitzgerald has been in touch?

The Peyton Place soap opera has sapped some of the attention off of the Pats and Giants over the runup to the big game. The New Yawkers have been running their yaps about how awesome they are now and, while still the slight underdog, everybody seems to think the Giants are the team to beat. All of this likely suits Bill Belichick just fine. It is no longer possible to discount Tom Coughlin as a coach, but give Belichick two weeks and sell him short, and you are asking for trouble. It took until the AFC Championship game, but the New England defense finely gelled. Getting linebacker Brandon Spikes and safety Patrick Chung back, along with the sudden awesomeness of Vince Wilfork, has really made a difference. Julius Edelman is the weak link, but Belichick may be able to scheme around him.

The national media has focused on the health of Gronk, and he will play, but the Pats have Aaron Hernandez too. Almost have to wonder if there is not a stealth plan to spread the field vertically with Ochocinco. Heck, might as well give it a try, no one will expect it after him being in the witness protection program all year.

As for the Gents, well, Bad Eli seems to be but a distant memory and the New York offense really is clicking on all cylinders. Victor Cruz is simply an animal, and now Mario Manningham is back. Coupled with the two headed monster of Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw, there really is no weakness. Actually, the same can be said about the Giants defense too, led by Jean Pierre Paul and Justin Tuck. The weakness is the secondary, where the Giants lost enough corners and safeties this year to stock a couple of teams. The situation improved over the year, but if the Pats O-line gives Brady any time at all, he ought to be able to carve em up.

So, what gives? Every factor seems to favor the Giants. There is simply no way to add up all the respective factors and do anything but predict a Giants win. So, I am going to go out on a limb and jinx Marcy. Patriots win on the foot of Stephen Gostkowski. Not to mention Bill Bel just doesn’t lose to a team twice in the same year.

For some strange reason, the NFL picked Madonna for the halftime snoozapalooza. I guess Rosemary Clooney wasn’t available, so they got the next oldest dame they could find. She sure ain’t no virgin anymore. Bleech. As the game is thankfully not in Michigan, at least we don’t have to suffer through Nicleback. So we got that going for us I guess.

So, at least here in this post, we are gonna have some better music. Both cities/teams are represented. For New England, it is the Bad Boys of Beantown, the one and only J. Geils Band, with the classic “Houseparty”. And for New York, it is, of course, They Might Be Giants with the oh so appropo “Take Out The Trash”.

That is the rundown for Super Bowl XLVI. We have a lot of time for pre-game trashin, so what you got and why do you got it? This is the last football of the season, so get down and dirty and let fly the dogs of trash!

Championship Sunday Trash Talk

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Well, here we are at Championship Sunday weekend. It seemed like only yesterday that the NFL season was tearing through a hasty preseason after the lockout, and the Packers were beating the Saints in a season opening Thursday night shootout. And now we are down to the penultimate games. Gents are visiting the Niners, and Ray and Reed are taking a trip to Foxborough. Good stuff.

First game up is Ravens at Pats. We know the players and lowdown on this already: the unstoppable force of Tom Brady, Wes Welker, and the “Boston TE Party” of Gronk & Hernandez, versus the immovable object of Ray Lewis, Terrell Suggs and Ed Reed. For the Ravens to have a chance, they have to get a great game out of Flacco; he is capable of it, but only sporadically. Even if the Ravens get Flacco and Ray Rice untracked, they have to outscore Brady. Tough job, I don’t see it. Now the better question here is asked by Robert Kraft via PFT: Is Bill Belichick the best coach in the history of pro football? Yes, Kraft really went there. I will throw that out for discussion, but I am going to weigh in with no. I got Lombardi easily in the first spot, followed by Paul Brown, Bill Walsh, George Halas, and a three way tie between Don Shula, Chuck Noll and Tom Landry. Bill Bel is getting there, but not yet.

The second game on tap is the better of the two, Elite Eli and the Giants going to San Francisco with an aching in their heart for another SuperBowl. Again, the book on both teams is pretty well known by now. The 49ers are way more solid on both sides of the ball than many thought, even though their D was pretty well understood to start with. And Alex Smith is a competent pro QB now. But the Giants just look like they are on a roll like they were in 2007 and Green Bay was last year. Good team, hot at the right time. Oh, and Jean Pierre-Paul is flat out a stud; if he stays healthy enough throughout his career, this kid is potentially Hall of Fame material. Dude can ball. And, the Gents might be a little pissed that Niners great Jerry Rice thinks that battering ram Brandon Jacobs is “soft”. Really Jerry? Come on man. Hard fought game, but the Gents bring it home.

Last, but certainly not least, we have a big announcement to make. Our long time friend Randiego, aka Surfer Dude, up and got hitched a couple of years ago. At 2:30 pm yesterday, he and the lovely Mrs. Randiego welcomed a new son, James, into this wild world we live in. Congratulations folks, from your family here at the Emptywheel Blog! My guess is that James’ first surfboard has already been acquired. Baby James will be coming home soon, and the Zep has an app for that.

Pretty exciting stuff we gots going on here. But a touch of sadness too. The great blues and soul singer Etta James has passed on. Etta was something else; man could she belt out a tune. My intro to her was the summer of 1978 when she opened for the Stones in Tucson. Much of the crowd was restless for Mick and the boys, but Etta James blew the place seriously up. Later Linda Ronstadt, who was in town visiting her parents, came on and joined Mick for a version of Tumbling Dice that may never be topped. But that is another story, this is about Etta, and she was something else. The above video is of “Pushover” which she first recorded in 1963. It is killer. RIP Etta.

That’s it folks, rip this joint!

Divisional Playoff Trash – One Way Out Version

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I must sincerely, and profusely, apologize for my negligence, carelessness, recklessness and, in general, sins of all varieties that resulted in the physical, emotional, and galactic damages resulting from THIS HIDEOUS NIGHTMARE! There is only one way out of this weekend for teams whose quest is the SuperBowl (just win baby) and there is only one way out of the, admittedly fair, doghouse I am in. Say yes to the Allman Brothers, and NO to Brady Pron, the overly joyous musical video.

So that nobody has to traumatize themselves with said offending Tom Brady Porn Video again, ever, in the history of humanity (or at least until I piss Marcy off again), here is what the itinerant, but knowledgeable one had to say there:

Pats, Packers, Ravens, NOLA. That’s who I’m taking.

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