Trash Talk: Wherein the Champs Shoot Themselves in The Foot Thigh

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picture-58.thumbnail.pngDon’t know where that slacker bmaz is with this week’s Trash Talk (oh wait? Trash is supposed to be my job, you say??). But today is the day when teams’ playoff hopes will live or die and it’s already 5 AM in the desert yet still bmaz sleeps.

But before we talk about the on-the-field fun, let’s talk about Plaxico Burress.

How does a guy whose career depends on his 4.4 speed (and whose team depends on his ability to stretch defenses) happen to head out to a nightclub one night and shoot himself in the thigh? It seems Plaxico doesn’t want to talk about it–having left the cops standing outside his home for 37 minutes yesterday…

New York City police arrived at Burress’ sprawling $4-million home in Totowa, N.J., at 4:35 p.m. and spent 37 minutes outside the home. According to a police spokesman, Burress’ wife, Tiffany, told them, "You can’t come in. You can’t talk to my husband."

Police made a second visit just after 7:30 p.m. and left when no one answered the door.

And the hospital that treated Plaxico doesn’t want to talk about it–having failed to inform the cops of the gunshot wound they treated…

Police said they learned of the incident yesterday only after reports of the shooting surfaced around noon, because the hospital did not report the gunshot wound to police, as is expected.

And the Gents don’t want to talk about it–at least not until after they play their big division game against the ‘Skins today.

According to police, the Giants have agreed to put police in touch with those two players, saying a meeting could be arranged this week after they return home from Washington, D.C.

They also appear to be in no rush to give the cops the gun.

According to police, the Giants told them that a team representative might be able to bring them to a third location where the gun is currently being held.

All this reluctance to talk probably has something to do with the fact that it is a felony to carry an unlicensed gun in NY–and Plaxico’s only gun permit is an expired one for Florida.

Records show New York Giants’ star receiver does not have a permit to carry a weapon in the city, meaning that he had no legal right to do so in the LQ Club in Manhattan, where he allegedly shot himself in the leg.

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Trash Talk – Thanksgiving Stuff Yer Face Edition

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It’s Turkey Day!!! Time to get fat and happy people. And then, when you cannot have one more round of food, you simply must have one more wafer thin mint! Or perhaps a Savoy Truffle.

Hey, is anybody out there having the John Madden specialty of Turducken instead of turkey?

Okay, this is a short trash talk for the Thursday Thanksgiving Day games only. Let’s get down to it:

Titans at Lions: That’s right, the masaccios are invading the Wheelhouse. If not for Brett and those pesky Jets, this would likely have been the first time in history that an 11-0 team visited an 0-11 team. Still pretty freaking close. Jeebus, and who says Ford doesn’t need a bailout? Cause William Clay Ford sure needs some kind of assistance here with his kitties. Just brutal. Makes me feel proud of the Bidwells (That’s bad; really bad). On the other hand, a rejuvenated Kerry Collins, Chris Johnson, a tough defense and the always solid as a rock steady coaching of Jeff Fisher has the Titans going strong and tied for the best record in the league with the Elis. This is a tough call, but I think I’ll roll with teh former Oilers. Football in Michigan will be a lot better next year. Has to be; the laws of physics say it simply cannot get worse. Jeebus.

Seahawks at Cowboys: The Seahawks fell 20-17 at home to the Skins last week, and have now lost four straight games. The do have Hassle back now. Not sure what else, if anything, they got going though. The Boys on the other hand look to be gelling and rounding into form now that Tony Romeo is back in the swing of things. T-Oh is even catching and running wild again. Cowboys roll.

Cardinals at Eagles: Donovan McNabb, heck really the whole team, has gone wobbly. Thankfully they have very understanding and patient fans in Philly, else they might get a little testy with the Iggles. Oh, wait, these cats booed and pelted freaking Santa Claus. The Cardinals with Kurt Warner and their high powered offense ought to kill the disjointed Eagles. Ought to. But these are the Cardinals. With a Bidwell owned team, the light at the end of the tunnel is always an oncoming bullet Read more →

Trash Talk – Clash Of The Titans Edition

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It’s trash talk time again. And this week we have a great slate of games, so let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. I know, I know, we’ve got to get this guy out of our hair, but once again the world seems to revolve around randiego. You’ve got a dynamic blog owner, and a loyal janitor, and still the world revolves around a surfer dude from San Diego. Go figure. Must be teh Rio Grande Mud that Mr. and Mrs. Randiego are stuck in with their Texas Tech jones.

NCAA: The mondo game of the week is the Texas Tech Red Rayduhs of Lady Randiego versus the Oklahoma Sooners. This game is not just huge to our favorite surfers, this is, indeed, the biggest game of the week for the nation. Let’s take a look at the breakdown for the game courtesy of Fox Sports:

The biggest game in the nation, the Red Raiders are playing to reach the Big 12 championship game and possibly the national championship game, while an Oklahoma victory can throw the Big 12 South division into a tiebreaker scenario that would involve Texas Tech, Texas and Oklahoma. The Sooners have never been more explosive on offense than they are right now, gaining 674, 528, 508 and 653 yards, respectively, against Kansas, Kansas State, Nebraska and Texas A&M. The biggest difference has been a running game that’s taken off behind a line that’s once again living up to its preseason expectations. Chris Brown and DeMarco Murray have combined for 1,623 yards from the tailback position. At Texas Tech, everything seems to be fine-tuned in coach Mike Leach’s "Air Raid" offense. QB Graham Harrell is quickly approaching the 5,000-yard mark, WR Mike Crabtree is playing better than his Biletnikoff Award-winning season a year ago and the running game has never been stronger under Leach. Tech is averaging 132.6 yards per game (No. 73 in the nation). First won to 50 wins? Perhaps.

FAST FACTS: Red Raiders — The offensive line has yielded 15 sacks in a whopping 622 pass attempts. … The Raiders are one of five teams in the league with at least 20 sacks. … The offense is 48 of 58 on trips to the red zone. Of the 48 scores, 43 are touchdowns. Sooners — Lead the nation in scoring, averaging 51.4 points per game. … LB Travis Lewis ranks 10th nationally in tackles, registering 10.5 per game. … OU is Read more →

Trash Talk – Post Throwdown Action

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Okay, we shot our wad a little early this week with the special Thursday Throw Down. But man, what a game. J – E – T – S Jets, Jets, Jets! Okay, enough of that; the Pats will be back, and the Jets have to deal with masaccio’s Titans next week, so it is a temporary euphoria. Let’s get down to bizness; down the rabbit hole we go!

NCAA: randiego swears the Texas Tech Red Raiders are da bomb. But not this week, they have a bye and won’t face battle until November 22 when they travel to Norman to beat meet Freep’s Boomer Sooners. That leaves the big game of the day as the Ole Ball Coach and his South Carolina Gamecocks invading the Gators down in the Swamp.

Florida already has wrapped up the SEC East, but needs a win to keep its BCS title hopes alive. It will be the second trip back to Florida Field for South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier, the former Gator coach and Heisman Trophy winner who guided the Gators to their first football national title in 1996. The Gamecocks head to Gainesville with a lot of confidence after winning six of their last seven. Both teams are ranked for the first time since Spurrier took over in Columbia. It’s a classic matchup of the SEC’s top defense (South Carolina) against the SEC’s highest-scoring offense (Florida). Florida has averaged 46.5 points per game during its current five-game winning streak. Quarterback Tim Tebow has been running the ball better of late since suffering a hyper-extended knee against Arkansas. Tebow has rushed for five touchdowns in his last two games. Wide receiver Percy Harvin is third in Southeastern Conference in touchdowns with 12 (five rushing, seven receiving). The Gamecocks lead the SEC in total defense (256.5 yards per game) and rank third in points allowed (15.6 per game). LB Eric Norwood is coming off a three-sack performance, and South Carolina picked off a season-high three passes a week ago. Tebow exploded on South Carolina last season. The defense needs to find a better way to corral him or South Carolina will suffer a similar result.

Other games of note include: Oklahoma State at Colorado; Ralphie and the Buffs are tough at Folsom Field, but they don’t have enough for OSU this time. Boston College at Bobby Bowden just got a lot harder for FSU since they just suspended their entire receiving Read more →

Trash Talk – Thursday Throw Down Special Edition

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It’s here baybee!!

Marcy’s Pats are hooking horns with bmaz’s New York Bretts. Tonight!!

Unfortunately, it is on the craptastic NFL Network (cable or sat); but get thee to a TeeVee!

There is always something special about a NY versus Beantown sporting match, and it is not just when the Yanks take on the Sawx. In week two of the season, a still reined in Matt Cassell led the Pats to a 19-10 win, although the game felt a little closer than that most of the way. Since that time, Cassell has come into his own a bit. Tom Brady he ain’t; but he does look to be getting to be at least comfortable and competent. The Pat’s defense is a little depleted since then though. Roidney Harrison is out, maybe career over; and last week, Audalius Thomas was lost. Considering the age of Bruschi and some of the others, the loss of Thomas, a big time defender, hurts.

The Jets have come into their own too. While not at the comfort level he was in GB, Favre looks to have settled in to the Jets offense. Somehow, I think his shoulder is hurt just a tad though, the old zip isn’t quite there, although he is still better than most. More importantly, Thomas Jones is untracked and the jets offense is balanced and not relying as much on Brett. On the downside, both key receivers, Cotchery and Coles are slightly dinged, but will play. The Jets defense is really coming together now and Kris Jenkins is a wrecking crew all by himself. The Jets also just signed Ty Law to help the secondary, and with his knowledge of the Pats passing game, he should be a plus.

Okay, none of you mopes on the sidelines! Pick a side and let’s get it on!

emptywheel here. First off, where does bmaz get off, with a mid-week Trash Talk? No sooner do the Democrats get in office, I guess, and they’re mandating mid-week recess and whatnot. Mostly I think bmaz did it so he could boast that Eric Mangini bought himself some expertise on the Pats with Ty Law; one might ask, of course, why Mangini’s own experience with the Pats does him no more good than allow him to tattle once or twice to the teacher. 

Which is really what bmaz is about here. He’d like to pitch this as a battle between BillBel and Favre. When of course, it’s really a battle between BillBel’s Video Cheats and the Mangy Manginis. Besides, as goofy and infectious as Favre’s smiles are, bmaz neglected to mention that someone else has been smiling on the Pats in the last week or so–and that’s got to be good luck. Doesn’t it?

Whatever. This game is going to be decided by the defenses–and the Jets are improving wildly there. But I’m not sure that means Mangini is ready yet to beat his hated mentor.

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Trash Talk – Election Weekend Special Edition

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Down to the nitty gritty. The big game is Tuesday. No, CTMET, I am not talking about University of Buffalo v. Miami of Ohio. I am talking The Obama State U v. McCain Community College. This OSU isn’t in the Big 10, and we are expecting victory baby!

But the good old boys at ESPN have been scheming to game the pre-election scene. Here is the play ESPN is running:

On the eve of the presidential election, with "Monday Night Football" from Washington as the backdrop, candidates Barack Obama and John McCain are planning to participate in one-on-one interviews on ESPN via satellite.
…
"We worked with our partners at the NFL to schedule a Monday Night Football game in Washington on this special night, and this presents a unique opportunity for John McCain and Barack Obama to reflect upon the last few months and address a large primetime audience on the final day of the campaigns," Norby Williamson, ESPN executive vice president, production, said in a statement.

It will be the first NFL game played in the D.C. area on the Monday night before a presidential election in 24 years. The Redskins defeated the Atlanta Falcons 27-14 on Nov. 5, 1984; Ronald Reagan was re-elected the following day.

The Redskins, in fact, are an accurate barometer for presidential elections. According to Steve Hirdt of the Elias Sports Bureau, who coined the term "Redskins Rule" in 2000, the following bromide has held true for the past 17 presidential elections: If the Redskins win their last home game prior to Election Day, the party that won the popular vote in the previous election wins the White House; if the Redskins lose, the party that lost the popular vote in the previous election wins.

In this Monday’s case, a Steelers win would forecast an Obama victory; a Redskins win would indicate a McCain win.

Lovely. The last time we did this, Reagan won. And we are relying on the Steelers to win this time if we want Obama in the White House. Hope Willie Parker is back. On the plus side, maybe the Stillers will remember the pandering lie McCain pulled using them as a stage prop:

And then McCain told a rather moving story about his time as a P.O.W. "When I was first interrogated and really had to give some information because of the pressures, physical pressures on me, I named the starting lineup, defensive line of the Pittsburgh Steelers as my squadron mates."

"Did you really?" asked the reporter.

"Yes," McCain said.

"In your POW camp?" asked the reporter.

"Yes," McCain said.

"Could you do it today?" asked the reporter.

"No, unfortunately," Read more →

EW’s Trash Talk – JoePa Is Washed Up; Long Live JoePa!

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A good deal of bloviating, hand wrenching and general tut tutting was done in the previous off season for NCAA football over Joe Paterno. He is old. He has lost it. His team is out of control. The Nittany Lions are mediocre and must move on to a new era. Blah, blah, blah.

The cognoscenti were saying that in 2004 too. So what did JoePa do? Ripped off an 11-1 season capped by an Orange Bowl victory over Florida State and rival Bobby Bowden, that’s what. Followed by two consecutive 9-4 seasons. Don’t fuck with JoePa. It just makes him mad. So what did the the self proclaimed football gurus and gods do? They fucked with JoePa. Predictable result; JoePa and the Lions are now 9-0 and just walked out of the Horseshoe in Columbus having killed the local horse, The Ohio State University. And to think, you usually have to wait for a major bowl game for Ohio State to tank. Christmas comes early this year!

Took a day off yesterday to enjoy a truly spectacular day of the kind of weather and beauty that makes one realize why they live in Arizona and why the summer heat is worth the pain. Trash it up people. Take the hammer out and hit something will ya? I find that teh Big 10 11 is always a fun place to start. Here is a sample; kind of like a sourdough starter kit for football fans, to get you going.

Wow, the Trojans sure beat down the Wolverweenies yesterday in the Big House. Oh, wait, those were just the Spartans, not the Trojans. When Michigan is making Michigan State look like USC, on the home turf in Ann Arbor, you know times are tough.

See, it’s easy!

(Today’s music video is a reminder that there just ain’t nothin like Magic Dick on the lickin stick)

Trash Talk – All You Kneed To Know About Tom

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In all the hubbub over the election, debates, McCain inciting racial strife and, of course, our economy continuing to fall off the face of the earth, the usually astute American public consciousness has lost track of a critically important story they usually would be all over. Tom Brady has undergone yet another knee operation. That is not good. Not to mention that Giselle must be getting cranky from the loss of consortium in their love shack. Peyton Manning demonstrated that knee surgeries now come in pairs though, so maybe it is nothing to worry about. You folks up there in Beantown better not let Randy Moss here about this though, because he was just starting to come out of his funk with Cassell.

National Favre League – Jeebus, it really is not a great week for captivating matchups. Check out the schedule, fairly bleak. Brett and the Jets visit Freep country up in Oakland. Maybe Al Davis will suit up, he may still be the toughest goat on the Raiders. Bolts at Bills, Saints at Panthers and Vikes at Da Bears are the only even halfway interesting regular schedule games. The real class, such that it is this week, are the Sunday night and Monday night games, Colts at Cheeseheads and Doncos at Pats, respectively.

Bowl Division, Smole Division (NCAA) – Okay, I want to come clean; I think the BCS is a bunch of shit. There; now I feel better. Big game of interest to Wheelheads seems to be the Wolvereenies at Joe Pa. Already the carping. Already the rationalizing from the Schembechler Whinery Region.

Kansas at Oklahoma appears to be a good game to watch. By far, the most interesting game would look to be Missouri at Texas. Chase Daniel is a pretty special kid, but so apparently is Colt McCoy. The battle between those two will probably be continuing on Sundays for many years into the future. For this year though, Texas looks to have too much for Missouri, and that and home field should carry the day. The other interesting game is LSU at South Carolina. Spurrier has a knack for these situations; Gamecocks in an upset.

MLB – The Sawx are dead. Long live the Sawx! I said when the season started that the Red Sawx may not Read more →

Trash Talk – Sooners & (Free)Patriots Edition

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It must be extremely chilly in hell, because I am going to write about the Okielahoma Sooners. Seems they have a game today. Against some chaps with horns. Long ones. It is the Red River Shootout and John Wayne is nowhere in sight, but Mack Brown and Bob Stoops are. I have never thought that much of either one of these guys as game coaches, but they sure keep winning, so I must have it wrong. Boomer Sooner is a six and a half point favorite. Gonna be more than that; Oklahoma wins big. Freepatriot has a big day; but he likes it rough, give him some trash.

Then there are the Patriots. Roidney and gang are strapping the longboards to the Woody and going to visit Randiego. Hope they haven’t turned the Trestles into a parking lot yet. After catching some rollers (you just know that boys from Beantown can’t hit real waves), they are going to tilt with the Fightning Bolts. Bolts are favored by 5. I rate it a tossup; Bolts are starting to play better and Cassell is getting more comfortable. Also seems to have discovered that there is a dude named Moss on his team. No idea who will win, but I’ll take the Pats and the points.

The good news is that Brett is back. The Bengals have apparently received permission from their parole officers to travel out of state and they will be breaking and entering the Meadowlands. Jets are solid favorites and Carson Palmer is very iffy with a bum right elbow. Ryan Fitzpatrick is the backup; don’t know who he is, probably used to coach the Raiders or something. Jets should win.

The ‘Boys at Cardinals might actually be a good game. Big might on that though. I have some inside scoop on the Cardinals for ya. They are freaking losers. Always have been. Just when things start to look up, they tank. Always have. Things are looking up after their blowout of the previously undefeated Bills; probably means they will stink up the joint. But the game is here, and they do play well at home. Except that the Cowboys pretty much consider this home too. There literally used to be as many Dallas fans as Read more →

Trash Talk – Mrs. O’Leary’s Bovine Edition

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Well, I tell ya, the natives are restless out there. Randiego has been mercilessly hammering on the Patriots lately. He has been pounding on me daily to say bad things, very bad things, about the Pats. Even – gasp – that they are washed up and wouldn’t be any better even with Tom Brady. Lost their mojo when Ashanti Samuel walked out the door. Bad things. I have tried to shield Marcy from it cause, you know, she is so delicate and frail on this gridiron stuff. Now, the good Professor Foland has joined in the fray. Something about Juice Williams, 431 yards and 45 points by the Fighting Illini. In the Big House. Oh my. Oh, and just so the record is clear, yes I know my Sun Devils suck too. What is a poor boy to do?

But, before we get to the NFL, let’s take a quick look at

MLB Playoff Baseball – Ruh roh. Just wait until next year. Yep, it is that time in the Windy City. At least on the North Side anyway. Coming soon to the South Side Sox. Talking about some mojo, that damn cow of Mrs. O’Leary’s was one powerful critter eh? Brutal. Can’t blame Bartman this time. Halfway through the season the Dodgers had nuthin; but along came Manny being Manny, and now they are all manned up. Derek Lowe knows how to pitch big games; looks like the boys in Blue are in the NL catbird seat.

In the junior circuit, with that confounded designated hitter thing, it is looking very much like a Sawx-Rays (sans Devil) finale. What the hell happened to the Halos? And Beckett is pitching game three? Say good night Gracie. Oh, one more thing. Where is the Team That Dumped Torre? Oh, that’s right, they are at home. Or Madonna’s crib. But Joe Torre, he has already won another playoff series. Hank the Skank Steinbrenner ain’t real bright.

National Favre League – Not much to talk about with the Bretts on their bye week. Pats looking for an upset over the Niners; looking for friendlier ground than Miami. Those fish are tough you know. Maybe randiego will let us know how the Frightning Bolts stack up, because the Bolts are headed to Miami Sunday. The Redskins at Iggles and Buccos at Broncs appear to be the class games of the day. If Jason Campbell keeps on improving on his solid play, the Skins are going to be Read more →

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