Final Four Championship Trash Talk


Well, I was two for two in my predictions for the semi-final games Saturday. Considering the poor quality of my prognostications lately, that is smokin hot. So, I am back for more! The scouting really has not changed; Louisville still has the three headed punch and the big game skilz of Rick Pitino. the bo Merlots from Ann Arbor still have a freaking lights out assassin in Trey Burke and quality support in Hardaway, Nik Stauskas and Glen Robby Three Matchsticks.

The line tonight at press is Louisville -4. That sounds about right going in. The Wolverweenie fans are all yammering about whether or not Chris Webber will appear for a Fab Five reunion tonight. I, however, think it appropriate to call time out on that. Pitino, on the other hand, is trying to sell his troops that they are NC State Wolfpack like underdogs. That’s, shall we say, a little much.

Winner: Fuckin A, it’s gotta be THE BO MERLOTS!

[Special Championship music by the one, the only, Mr. John Cash. Yippy Yi Yoh!]

It seems every sporting season is so painfully stretched out now to milk the consuming public. The Super Bowl is now into February, The World Series into the cold winter of November and the NBA playoffs seem to take half a year. And here we are with “March Madness” about to enter the second week of April. With that bit of complaining out of the way, let’s take a look at what is left in the Final Four.

The first semi-final is Wichita State v. Louisville. The Shockers are not quite as shocking as their name suggests; they have had a marvelous tournament and deserve to be here. They are relentless on the glass, have size, speed and get on frequent lights out streaks from behind the three line. Hey, seriously, they took out both top seed Gonzaga and Ohio State on the road to Atlanta, that is pretty heady stuff. But this is Louisville’s second straight trip to the Final Four, and Rick Pitino has a flair for the big stage. He also has a triumvirate of studs from guard Russ Smith, to forward Chane Behanen to center Gorgui Dieng. The Cardinals are 10.5 point favorites. I think it will be closer than the spread, but Louisville moves on.

The second game today is the one of local interest, the one with Marcy’s Bo Merlots taking on the Orange Crush of Syracuse. Man, this one has even grouchy old me excited, and the best is clearly saved for last. Boeheim’s vaunted zone versus Trey Burke, the Big Blue one man zone buster. Wow, am really looking forward to this game. As is their Famous Fabulous Five Freputation, Michigan is loaded with young guns. Syracuse is a veteran group led by junior forward C.J. Fair and sophomore guard Michael Carter-Williams. Yes, that is what qualifies for “veteran in today’s NCAA Tournament, sad as it may be. The men in the Tim Hardaway family tree are known for mouthing off when they should have kept their idiot yaps shut, and Junior, a junior guard for the Merlots, is at it again, albeit it in a less homophobic way.

Syracuse is representing for the rump of what the mighty Big East once was. Jim Boeheim has made quite clear this will not be his last dance. But, it is the end of an era in college basketball. The line is Michigan -2. The talent portion of this pageant is on the Wolverweenies side, and with preparation, zones can be busted. I think the once and future promise of the wholesale raiding of West Virginia by the monsters in Ann Arbor pays off and Beilein and the boys in Blue make a beeline for Monday’s Championship game.

Music today by the J. Geils Band. One Last Kiss for the Final Four. Cut the nets down bitchezz!

Mummies And Bunnies Trash

It has been a while since we have taken in the Trash and the natives are restless. So, for yer Easter pleasure, we have a special Mummies and Bunnies edition of Trash. The bunnies, well, they are the official mascot of the holiday weekend of course, and they are absolutely necessary to go down the rabbit holes we have been lately in search of some semblance of our Constitutional rule of law. The Mummies, well, they are a relatively new discovery to me and they kind of fit in with the whole buried alive torture thing. Actually, they are officially known as Here Come The Mummies, and they are one kick ass live act. I have included two songs for your listening pleasure, one live and the other from a live set in a Chicago studio for a radio/TeeVee simulcast show. Enjoy.

Now, for the action, we start off with March April Madness Final Four. The first semifinal game pits the Butler Bulldogs against the Mighty Michigan State Spartans. This seems like a mismatch, but don’t sell Butler short, they are a perennial tournament team, well coached by Brad Stevens, who looks baby faced enough to be one of the players, but has put his team in the tournament all three years he has been head coach. The Bulldogs have some stud players too, led by Gordon Hayward and they play tenacious and disciplined team defense. On the other side stands Tom Izzo and the Spartans who were in the Final Four Championship Game last year, losing to Carolina, and are in the Final Four for the sixth time in the last twelve years. Izzo knows how to coach em up and the Spartans have really gelled in the tournament. It is telling that when their star guard, Kalin Lucas, went down with an achilles in the second round, you would think they were done. Nuh uh, and they win close games consistently. This is in Butler’s hometown, Indianapolis, so they have that going for them (Butler plays their home games just down the road in Hinkle Fieldhouse, a National Historic Register listed building and literally the home of Hoosiers, the real life team the movie is based on and the filming location for the movie). The Spartans are favored by a point; I call it a tossup. Thankfully, there is no riot in Michigan yet!

The second game has Huggy Bear’s West Virginia Mountaineers taking on the Dookies. Coach K and Duke are not newbies, although this particular team has never smelled the rarified air of the Final Four. West Virginia has been a top flite program for several years too, dating back to when they had a different coach that those Wolvereenies in Ann Arbor stole (Big Blue takes all of the Mountaineers’ coaches sooner or later apparently). Another solid and close matchup with the Dookies favored by two. I can see that, Duke looks to have too much speed and shooting and should prevail.

Formula One: As Petro noted, this weekend is the Malaysian Grand Prix. Malaysia is famous for the wet, there is always rain during GP week, and this year looks no different. That’s okay as the wet makes for great Grand Prix racing, and they do not wimp out and stop like those overhyped sissies that drive in circles. Actually rain is good, because otherwise Kuala Lumpur is a fast track with a lot of straights and not great overtaking opportunities. Hamilton, Vettel, Button and Schumacher were fast in practice. The first two races were won by former World Champions, Bahrain by Fernando Alonso and Down Under by Jenson Button. Is it time for Schumi to round into winning form? Nobody roots for Lewis Hamilton anymore, in fact the Aussies actually literally called him a dickhead! Gotta love the Oz. Qualifying is Saturday morning at 4 am Eastern and the race goes off Sunday morning 4 am Eastern; both on Speed TV.