Continuing Shutdown Resolution Shakedown Trash Talk

Whole lotta nothing going on in the nation’s capitol. Guess that is not exactly news, but, still, it seems extra fubar currently. Ah well, what to do? Rock and roll baybee. And trash talk, of course. Seriously, as I look up at my TeeVee right this instant, Ralph Reed is on CNN blowing some perverted shit out of his ass. Really, Ralph Freaking Reed. It is just stupid out there. On MSNBC, Alec Baldwin looks like he is sitting in a Chicago steak/chop house yammering with some twit I don’t immediately recognize. Oh, wait, it is Bill de Blasio, the soon to be chameleon new mayor of New York. Is he a Weatherman anarchist from the 60s or a neo-liberal from the present?? Who knows? Who cares? He will be far better than Mayor Bloombito, so teh New Yarkers are gonna have that going for them. Let’s play games.

Gotta start with the pros this week. Lot to talk about, but first off I would like to not that right now, the ‘Ole Geezer, Mr. Brett Favre, could play quarterback this Sunday better than what service the Bucs, Jags, Vikings and Giants at a minimum. And, arguably, maybe the Raiders, Bills, Cardinals and Steelers too. He is rested. And he is ready. And he is way more fun than the others. Bring back the FavRuh.

In case my lead has not exactly engrossed and hooked you, I guess we can talk about actual games. If we must. Okay. Here we go….I must admit I am strangely perplexed by weird games lately, as we are still early in the season and the wheat has not yet completely separated from the shaft. Well, except for STRONG ARMED PEYTON MANNING AND THE DONKOS! While Bieber Brady is still looking for his next hairstyle, Happy Faced Peyton is rolling. As long as Peyton keeps a Jockey’s Neck Like Bollocks, he could obliterate very sacred records this year. We shall see.

So, back to the offbeat games of interest. First up is Deetroit trying to shakedown the Brownies in the Dog Pound. Who are teh Kittehs? Hard to tell, but they need Megatron to tell. And he is questionable (though I expect he suits up and plays, like the stud he is). But Cleveland has a sneaky good defense, and there is some momentum in mistake by the lake land. If Brandon Weedon can get the Brownies offense 28 points or more, they well could win. But you have to figure Matt Stafford and Reggie Bush can put up that.

Steelers at Jets, Jets, Jets is another goofy game. Steelers can’t be as bad as they have shown so far, can they? Actually, maybe. And the Jets are a tougher D than some they have faced so far. This is a gut check game; if Big Ben and Stillers have any game at all, they will bring it. They might; but I am not betting on it. Cheese at Ravens is also interesting. League is sleeping on both right now, even though Baltimore is the defending Super Bowl champ and GB is, well still the Pack. Both seem still unsettled and adjusting to huge losses. Ravens lost by retirement and players moving on. Pack has lost by injury mostly except for Greg Jennings, who they let leave. Jennings ain’t the problem, the injuries are. This is a pick em, whoever wants it more will win.

The super rejuvenated Saints, and man have Sean Payton and Rob Ryan turned that gig on a dime, roll into Foxborough to meet the Pats. Later in the year, with a little more gelling, Bill Bel, Major Tom and the Whoevers win this game at home. Not right now though, Saints and Drew Breeeezz got to much jazz. And on Sunday night, we got Skins at the ‘Boys. Will take a heroic effort from RG III to win this; I think Romo will cut the bad edge off of last week’s disappointment.

In the student athalete category, seems like a somewhat quiet week. Guess the biggest interest is whether or not Mack Brown can pull a jackrabbit out of his ass, er hat, and upset Freepatriot’s Boomer Sooners. If not, Mack may get knifed by the time that giant schooner can roll a circle. Game is in Austin though, so there is that. PolitiFact Check rates this: Orange Crushed!

ESPN and some other cackling birds are clucking about Mizzou at the Dawgs in Athens Georgia. Nuh uh. Aaron Murray and the Hounds got WAY too much for the Tigers. Florida at LSU may actually be the best real contest of the day. Gators starting to live a little now that Driskel the water pistol is down for the count. Still, the Tigers in Baton Rouge in a big night game; gotta take the Po Boy home cooking there. Also the ‘Ole Ball coach and the Cocks are going to Sooo-eee-pigeeee land in Ar-kansas. The okies from Muskogee were not cool with those wheat stalks on the Kansas license plates, so they seceded and called if Our Kansas. Or, if Old McDonald spelled it, Arkansas. Or something. Am tempted to take Brett Bielema and the Hogs here. Just because. But I can’t, South Carolina is just a better team. Fighting Journalists may have a tough time in Camp Randall Stadium with teh Badgers. Would be brutal to lose two in a row after such promise, but Wisconsin is a decent team and is at home.

This weekend is the Japanese Grand Prix at Suzuka. Which used to be a penultimate and deciding race in the Circus schedule, but no longer. And no drama at this point, it is another Vettel and Red Bull year. Hard to be excited, I am, however, excited about next year and the new car specifications.

Also, baseball. Sadly, the Pirates got keelhauled by the Cardinals in the deciding game 5 of the Divisional Series and are out. Hopefully the Dodgers claim the Bum status of old and win the NL. As to the AL, hard to pick between the Tigers and Boston. Both great teams, both a lot of fun and interesting. But gonna be a Detroit Breakdown, so……Go Sawx!!

That is it folks. Shut it down baybee!

Final Four Championship Trash Talk


Well, I was two for two in my predictions for the semi-final games Saturday. Considering the poor quality of my prognostications lately, that is smokin hot. So, I am back for more! The scouting really has not changed; Louisville still has the three headed punch and the big game skilz of Rick Pitino. the bo Merlots from Ann Arbor still have a freaking lights out assassin in Trey Burke and quality support in Hardaway, Nik Stauskas and Glen Robby Three Matchsticks.

The line tonight at press is Louisville -4. That sounds about right going in. The Wolverweenie fans are all yammering about whether or not Chris Webber will appear for a Fab Five reunion tonight. I, however, think it appropriate to call time out on that. Pitino, on the other hand, is trying to sell his troops that they are NC State Wolfpack like underdogs. That’s, shall we say, a little much.

Winner: Fuckin A, it’s gotta be THE BO MERLOTS!

[Special Championship music by the one, the only, Mr. John Cash. Yippy Yi Yoh!]

It seems every sporting season is so painfully stretched out now to milk the consuming public. The Super Bowl is now into February, The World Series into the cold winter of November and the NBA playoffs seem to take half a year. And here we are with “March Madness” about to enter the second week of April. With that bit of complaining out of the way, let’s take a look at what is left in the Final Four.

The first semi-final is Wichita State v. Louisville. The Shockers are not quite as shocking as their name suggests; they have had a marvelous tournament and deserve to be here. They are relentless on the glass, have size, speed and get on frequent lights out streaks from behind the three line. Hey, seriously, they took out both top seed Gonzaga and Ohio State on the road to Atlanta, that is pretty heady stuff. But this is Louisville’s second straight trip to the Final Four, and Rick Pitino has a flair for the big stage. He also has a triumvirate of studs from guard Russ Smith, to forward Chane Behanen to center Gorgui Dieng. The Cardinals are 10.5 point favorites. I think it will be closer than the spread, but Louisville moves on.

The second game today is the one of local interest, the one with Marcy’s Bo Merlots taking on the Orange Crush of Syracuse. Man, this one has even grouchy old me excited, and the best is clearly saved for last. Boeheim’s vaunted zone versus Trey Burke, the Big Blue one man zone buster. Wow, am really looking forward to this game. As is their Famous Fabulous Five Freputation, Michigan is loaded with young guns. Syracuse is a veteran group led by junior forward C.J. Fair and sophomore guard Michael Carter-Williams. Yes, that is what qualifies for “veteran in today’s NCAA Tournament, sad as it may be. The men in the Tim Hardaway family tree are known for mouthing off when they should have kept their idiot yaps shut, and Junior, a junior guard for the Merlots, is at it again, albeit it in a less homophobic way.

Syracuse is representing for the rump of what the mighty Big East once was. Jim Boeheim has made quite clear this will not be his last dance. But, it is the end of an era in college basketball. The line is Michigan -2. The talent portion of this pageant is on the Wolverweenies side, and with preparation, zones can be busted. I think the once and future promise of the wholesale raiding of West Virginia by the monsters in Ann Arbor pays off and Beilein and the boys in Blue make a beeline for Monday’s Championship game.

Music today by the J. Geils Band. One Last Kiss for the Final Four. Cut the nets down bitchezz!

Emptywheel’s Gigantic Patriotic Bad Ass Mega Super Bowl Trash Talk Houseparty

It is SuperBowl weekend and the biggest story in Indianapolis is Peyton Manning. Probably not fair to Peyton, Indianapolis or the Giants and Pats, but such is how it seems to be playing out. The melodrama has served as a reminder that the Colts are still an Irsay family enterprise and the main difference between Robert “Midnight Mayflower” Irsay and his gabby son Jim is that Jim stumbled into Peyton Manning. Who knew all these years we have been facetiously calling them the “Indianapolis Peytons”, it was pretty much accurate?

Irsay has made almost as much of a hash of things the last couple of weeks as the Susan G. Komen Foundation, which is saying something. I wonder if Ari Fleischer is helping the Colts too? Remember, Ari “helped” the Packers with the Brett Favre separation too, and the end of the Peyton era in Indy is turning every bit as ugly. Manning claims to be cleared to play and is intent on resuming his career; clearly it looks to be in another city though. Hmmm, wonder if Larry Fitzgerald has been in touch?

The Peyton Place soap opera has sapped some of the attention off of the Pats and Giants over the runup to the big game. The New Yawkers have been running their yaps about how awesome they are now and, while still the slight underdog, everybody seems to think the Giants are the team to beat. All of this likely suits Bill Belichick just fine. It is no longer possible to discount Tom Coughlin as a coach, but give Belichick two weeks and sell him short, and you are asking for trouble. It took until the AFC Championship game, but the New England defense finely gelled. Getting linebacker Brandon Spikes and safety Patrick Chung back, along with the sudden awesomeness of Vince Wilfork, has really made a difference. Julius Edelman is the weak link, but Belichick may be able to scheme around him.

The national media has focused on the health of Gronk, and he will play, but the Pats have Aaron Hernandez too. Almost have to wonder if there is not a stealth plan to spread the field vertically with Ochocinco. Heck, might as well give it a try, no one will expect it after him being in the witness protection program all year.

As for the Gents, well, Bad Eli seems to be but a distant memory and the New York offense really is clicking on all cylinders. Victor Cruz is simply an animal, and now Mario Manningham is back. Coupled with the two headed monster of Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw, there really is no weakness. Actually, the same can be said about the Giants defense too, led by Jean Pierre Paul and Justin Tuck. The weakness is the secondary, where the Giants lost enough corners and safeties this year to stock a couple of teams. The situation improved over the year, but if the Pats O-line gives Brady any time at all, he ought to be able to carve em up.

So, what gives? Every factor seems to favor the Giants. There is simply no way to add up all the respective factors and do anything but predict a Giants win. So, I am going to go out on a limb and jinx Marcy. Patriots win on the foot of Stephen Gostkowski. Not to mention Bill Bel just doesn’t lose to a team twice in the same year.

For some strange reason, the NFL picked Madonna for the halftime snoozapalooza. I guess Rosemary Clooney wasn’t available, so they got the next oldest dame they could find. She sure ain’t no virgin anymore. Bleech. As the game is thankfully not in Michigan, at least we don’t have to suffer through Nicleback. So we got that going for us I guess.

So, at least here in this post, we are gonna have some better music. Both cities/teams are represented. For New England, it is the Bad Boys of Beantown, the one and only J. Geils Band, with the classic “Houseparty”. And for New York, it is, of course, They Might Be Giants with the oh so appropo “Take Out The Trash”.

That is the rundown for Super Bowl XLVI. We have a lot of time for pre-game trashin, so what you got and why do you got it? This is the last football of the season, so get down and dirty and let fly the dogs of trash!