March 29, 2024 / by 

 

Trash Talk: Patriots Have A Strange Kind Of Mascot

Sports mascots are ubiquitous. College mascots are a tradition I suppose, irrespective of redeeming value, but pro mascots – with the exception of the San Diego Chicken, the Phoenix Suns Gorilla and, maybe, the Philly Phanatic are totally lame. Seriously. Then there are those big headed sausages the Milwaukee Brewers have. Are those even mascots?

But mascots, like Tiger Woods, are only human. They have indiscretions:

A prostitution sting in Rhode Island netted an unusual John, or, rather, an unusual Pat—as in one of the men who plays Pat Patriot, the huge-foam-headed mascot of the New England Patriots. Robert Sormanti, 47, was among 14 charged; there was no indication he was wearing his costume when busted.

And this:

Pat the Patriot, beloved mascot of the New England Patriots and inspiration to Boston-area children since 1960, has been arrested in a prostitution sting. But it gets worse: Evidently Pat was caught answering a naughty ad on Craigslist. Placed by a policeman in Rhode Island.

Rumor has it that local prostitutes called Pat by his other nickname, “The Revolutionary Minuteman.” They did not mean it as a compliment.

Ouch.

See, now this is the problem with the media in today’s society; it is so shallow. Where is the discussion of the extreme team spirit of Sormanti and his willingness to get “up” for the big game against the Panthers? Bill Bel does not lose three in a row does he? No.

The Steelers have already opted out via a loss to the Brownies; but not before James Harrison’s mother threw down and bashed some fools with a beer bottle at the local VFW Post. Don’t mess with Silverback’s mom.

The prime time matchup this week is the Iggles at the Gents. Philly wins and they are sitting pretty at 9-4; they lose and they are tied with NY at 8-5 and the NFC East, and the wildcard, are a total mess. Which brings up the Bolts little visit to Tejas to see the ‘Boys. Dallas is 8-4, which is kind of amazing considering how mediocre they have played this season. December, however, is Bolt time and with Ladanian Tomlinson having been sighted, San Diego should be too much for the Cowboys. See, a total mess in the NFC East.

The Falcons are without Matt Ryan and Burner Turner; that is not a good thing with Drew Fookin Brees coming to visit. Le bon temps roule. The Pack are really coming on and are going to be a force heading in to the playoffs it appears. The Cheesers are too much for the Windy City Sliders. I’ll take the Fish over the Jags, Rayduhs at home over the Skins and Titans over the Rams too.

The best games by far this weekend are Cincinnati at the Vikings and Denver at the Colts. The Bengals have been solid all year and the Vikes are coming off their worst showing of the season in their loss in the desert to Kurt Warner and the Cards. If this game were in Cincinnati, the edge might go to the Bengals; but in the Metrodome, I don’t think so. It is about time for Adrian Peterson to bust out with a big game and this would be a prime week for him to do just that. The Broncos have regrouped and are playing well again having rediscovered their running game behind Knoshown Moreno. They will play the Colts tough, but it is hard to see how they have enough to overcome Peyton and the undefeated Colts in Indianapolis.

In a late breaking story, Tiger Woods has announced an indefinite leave from the PGA Tour while he works on piecing his life and marriage back together.

I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children,” Woods said. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.

I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.

After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf,” the statement continued. “I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.

Will be interesting to see how he does at that effort; he has a lot of work ahead of him. Might be helpful for them to go to that new island pad in Sweden Elin bought and get away from the animal cage Woods’ gated community and house in Orlando have become. Neighbors would probably appreciate it too.

That is it for this week; let’s trash this gin joint.

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Originally Posted @ https://www.emptywheel.net/tag/nfl-mascots/