EW’s Trash Talk – JoePa Is Washed Up; Long Live JoePa!

A good deal of bloviating, hand wrenching and general tut tutting was done in the previous off season for NCAA football over Joe Paterno. He is old. He has lost it. His team is out of control. The Nittany Lions are mediocre and must move on to a new era. Blah, blah, blah.

The cognoscenti were saying that in 2004 too. So what did JoePa do? Ripped off an 11-1 season capped by an Orange Bowl victory over Florida State and rival Bobby Bowden, that’s what. Followed by two consecutive 9-4 seasons. Don’t fuck with JoePa. It just makes him mad. So what did the the self proclaimed football gurus and gods do? They fucked with JoePa. Predictable result; JoePa and the Lions are now 9-0 and just walked out of the Horseshoe in Columbus having killed the local horse, The Ohio State University. And to think, you usually have to wait for a major bowl game for Ohio State to tank. Christmas comes early this year!

Took a day off yesterday to enjoy a truly spectacular day of the kind of weather and beauty that makes one realize why they live in Arizona and why the summer heat is worth the pain. Trash it up people. Take the hammer out and hit something will ya? I find that teh Big 10 11 is always a fun place to start. Here is a sample; kind of like a sourdough starter kit for football fans, to get you going.

Wow, the Trojans sure beat down the Wolverweenies yesterday in the Big House. Oh, wait, those were just the Spartans, not the Trojans. When Michigan is making Michigan State look like USC, on the home turf in Ann Arbor, you know times are tough.

See, it’s easy!

(Today’s music video is a reminder that there just ain’t nothin like Magic Dick on the lickin stick)

Trash Talk – All You Kneed To Know About Tom

In all the hubbub over the election, debates, McCain inciting racial strife and, of course, our economy continuing to fall off the face of the earth, the usually astute American public consciousness has lost track of a critically important story they usually would be all over. Tom Brady has undergone yet another knee operation. That is not good. Not to mention that Giselle must be getting cranky from the loss of consortium in their love shack. Peyton Manning demonstrated that knee surgeries now come in pairs though, so maybe it is nothing to worry about. You folks up there in Beantown better not let Randy Moss here about this though, because he was just starting to come out of his funk with Cassell.

National Favre League – Jeebus, it really is not a great week for captivating matchups. Check out the schedule, fairly bleak. Brett and the Jets visit Freep country up in Oakland. Maybe Al Davis will suit up, he may still be the toughest goat on the Raiders. Bolts at Bills, Saints at Panthers and Vikes at Da Bears are the only even halfway interesting regular schedule games. The real class, such that it is this week, are the Sunday night and Monday night games, Colts at Cheeseheads and Doncos at Pats, respectively.

Bowl Division, Smole Division (NCAA) – Okay, I want to come clean; I think the BCS is a bunch of shit. There; now I feel better. Big game of interest to Wheelheads seems to be the Wolvereenies at Joe Pa. Already the carping. Already the rationalizing from the Schembechler Whinery Region.

Kansas at Oklahoma appears to be a good game to watch. By far, the most interesting game would look to be Missouri at Texas. Chase Daniel is a pretty special kid, but so apparently is Colt McCoy. The battle between those two will probably be continuing on Sundays for many years into the future. For this year though, Texas looks to have too much for Missouri, and that and home field should carry the day. The other interesting game is LSU at South Carolina. Spurrier has a knack for these situations; Gamecocks in an upset.

MLB – The Sawx are dead. Long live the Sawx! I said when the season started that the Red Sawx may not Read more

Trash Talk – Sooners & (Free)Patriots Edition

It must be extremely chilly in hell, because I am going to write about the Okielahoma Sooners. Seems they have a game today. Against some chaps with horns. Long ones. It is the Red River Shootout and John Wayne is nowhere in sight, but Mack Brown and Bob Stoops are. I have never thought that much of either one of these guys as game coaches, but they sure keep winning, so I must have it wrong. Boomer Sooner is a six and a half point favorite. Gonna be more than that; Oklahoma wins big. Freepatriot has a big day; but he likes it rough, give him some trash.

Then there are the Patriots. Roidney and gang are strapping the longboards to the Woody and going to visit Randiego. Hope they haven’t turned the Trestles into a parking lot yet. After catching some rollers (you just know that boys from Beantown can’t hit real waves), they are going to tilt with the Fightning Bolts. Bolts are favored by 5. I rate it a tossup; Bolts are starting to play better and Cassell is getting more comfortable. Also seems to have discovered that there is a dude named Moss on his team. No idea who will win, but I’ll take the Pats and the points.

The good news is that Brett is back. The Bengals have apparently received permission from their parole officers to travel out of state and they will be breaking and entering the Meadowlands. Jets are solid favorites and Carson Palmer is very iffy with a bum right elbow. Ryan Fitzpatrick is the backup; don’t know who he is, probably used to coach the Raiders or something. Jets should win.

The ‘Boys at Cardinals might actually be a good game. Big might on that though. I have some inside scoop on the Cardinals for ya. They are freaking losers. Always have been. Just when things start to look up, they tank. Always have. Things are looking up after their blowout of the previously undefeated Bills; probably means they will stink up the joint. But the game is here, and they do play well at home. Except that the Cowboys pretty much consider this home too. There literally used to be as many Dallas fans as Read more

Trash Talk – Mrs. O’Leary’s Bovine Edition

Well, I tell ya, the natives are restless out there. Randiego has been mercilessly hammering on the Patriots lately. He has been pounding on me daily to say bad things, very bad things, about the Pats. Even – gasp – that they are washed up and wouldn’t be any better even with Tom Brady. Lost their mojo when Ashanti Samuel walked out the door. Bad things. I have tried to shield Marcy from it cause, you know, she is so delicate and frail on this gridiron stuff. Now, the good Professor Foland has joined in the fray. Something about Juice Williams, 431 yards and 45 points by the Fighting Illini. In the Big House. Oh my. Oh, and just so the record is clear, yes I know my Sun Devils suck too. What is a poor boy to do?

But, before we get to the NFL, let’s take a quick look at

MLB Playoff Baseball – Ruh roh. Just wait until next year. Yep, it is that time in the Windy City. At least on the North Side anyway. Coming soon to the South Side Sox. Talking about some mojo, that damn cow of Mrs. O’Leary’s was one powerful critter eh? Brutal. Can’t blame Bartman this time. Halfway through the season the Dodgers had nuthin; but along came Manny being Manny, and now they are all manned up. Derek Lowe knows how to pitch big games; looks like the boys in Blue are in the NL catbird seat.

In the junior circuit, with that confounded designated hitter thing, it is looking very much like a Sawx-Rays (sans Devil) finale. What the hell happened to the Halos? And Beckett is pitching game three? Say good night Gracie. Oh, one more thing. Where is the Team That Dumped Torre? Oh, that’s right, they are at home. Or Madonna’s crib. But Joe Torre, he has already won another playoff series. Hank the Skank Steinbrenner ain’t real bright.

National Favre League – Not much to talk about with the Bretts on their bye week. Pats looking for an upset over the Niners; looking for friendlier ground than Miami. Those fish are tough you know. Maybe randiego will let us know how the Frightning Bolts stack up, because the Bolts are headed to Miami Sunday. The Redskins at Iggles and Buccos at Broncs appear to be the class games of the day. If Jason Campbell keeps on improving on his solid play, the Skins are going to be Read more

Trash Talk, Failed Pundit Edition

Say, did any of you notice how badly I did with predictions last week?

So here are my predictions for the week: Carolina will beat a beat up Vikings team. The fifth-round college backup coached by BillBel will notch another win.

And about that  0-3 of the title? On paper, by all reasoning, the Chargers should beat the Jets. But that last second thing is really killing them this year, so you gotta go with Favre. 

Finally, the Jaguars keep trying for that elusive break-out game against Peyton Manning. The Jags aren’t the team they were last year. But then, neither are the Colts. Two teams with swiss cheese for an O-line, the Jags still looking for their first win, in Indy?

Unfortunately, I think there are going to be at least two playoff teams from last year that’ll be 0-3 after this weekend.

Can you say 0-fer? In related news, randiego showed up again. 

And if that doesn’t make me pathetic enough, know that I fell asleep just as the Wolverines were beginning their big comeback yesterday–missed the whole damn thing. Go Blue!

I’m just going to take solace in the fact that the Lions finally got rid of Matt Millen (the TSA guard in SFO was teasing me about how long that took), and we’ve got a week to try to become a pro team again.

So rather than risking any predictions this week, I’ll just pose this question for discussion: Why is Nick Saban so much better as a college coach than a pro coach?

Emptywheel’s Trash Talk – Debate With The Dishonorable Geezer Edition

There are a bunch of games. Half the mopes will lose. Teams from Phoenix will be among them; but with the USC burp Thursday night, it is a little easier to take. This done on the fly, so additional fun discussion will have to follow later. I am thinking you guys know how to rip the joint up without a bunch of mumbo jumbo anyway.

Trash and smash at will!

(Video: Hey Georgia Bulldogs! They kicked the Sun Devil’s butt last Saturday. Their tailback, Moreno, is seriously good)

Trash Talk: 0-3 Week

I might as well have posted this later Sunday afternoon. After all, the big games of the week are on Sunday night (the scary looking ‘Boys against the new-look Packers) and Monday night (one of the best two-minute drill quarterbacks ever, Favre, playing a team that has lost two in a row in the last seconds of the game, the Bolts). It’s like someone actually wants us to do yard work on Sunday or something. Or maybe canvass.

Speaking of the Bolts. I haven’t seen randiego around these parts lately, ‘specially not during trash talk. I wonder why that is? I mean, I know it must suck to have the very best ref in football lose the game for you. But still, you gotta talk trash!

See, I can say that. I know my local team gave up a bunch of touchdowns at the end of the game last week–but that’s what we know to expect from the Lions.

Speaking of local teams, John McCain has officially lost MI. True to form for McCain, he’s trying to win by pandering to the home crowd–and he has chosen OH over MI. You can tell it’s pandering, too, because he bought Cindy a necklace–a Buckeye necklace!?!?!–that cost less than $1000.

McCain shopped for bargains and purchased two black Ohio State T-shirts priced at two for $20. He also grabbed a porcelain statue of Brutus Buckeye.

On his way out of the store, McCain also decided to buy a Buckeye necklace for his wife, Connelly reported.

Palin’s pandering too, like McCain claiming to be a Steelers fan, while secretly favoring the Seahawks. Seahawks!?!?! 

Biden, however, is so far above pandering that he claims Delaware can beat the Buckeyes. I mean, I hear what bmaz says about how crappy the Big 10 is and all, but … really, Joe?

Which leaves Obama, the narrow winner of the much-coveted "want to watch football with" vote. 

People would rather watch a football game with Barack Obama than with John McCain – but by barely the length of a football.

Obama was the pick over McCain by a narrow 50 percent to 47 percent, according to an Associated Press-Yahoo News poll released Friday that generally mirrored each presidential candidate’s strengths and weaknesses with voters. Read more

EW’s Trash Talk – The Big Games Start

Week 2 is upon us, football is really back, and the big games are really starting to be played now. The first weekend you are just glad to have the pigskin back in the air, you don’t care that the games are usually not that good. Last weekend’s game between Tennessee and the Bruins of UCLA was a definite exception. Holy cow, it was a great game, especially the second half (masaccio, being a Vols fan, may not agree). Rick Neuheisel may be starting something special in Westwood, and that would be a fantastic thing for Pac-10 football, and college football generally.

Wobbly yawner games, where the cobwebs are still being shaken off, are not the case for Week 2 though, there are huge games on tap. Let’s belly up to the bar then.

NCAA – The Rose Bowl. The Grandaddy of Them All. Right here in the second week of September no less. All kidding aside, it is hard to envision a more compelling early September matchup than Number 5 ranked The Ohio State University invading the Coliseum and the Mighty Men of Troy, the Number 1 ranked USC Trojans. What can you say, the game speaks for itself. National Championship hopes are already on the line big time; even if they were not, college football games just don’t get more compelling than this. Don’t be a McCain hiding behind a skirt wimp, be open and notorious, pick a side and state yer case. Then let me give you a hint. There is a track record on these kind of matchups, and it ain’t a real pretty one for the three yards and a cloud of dust conference. That record will continue I’m afraid. Other games to pay attention to include #10 Wisconsin at #21 Fresno State, UCLA at #18 BYU, and the Ramblin Wreck from Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech. Oh, and and yet another scintillating meeting between Michigan and Notre Dame. Hard to imagine that it could live up to last year’s matchup of the un-victorious and un-tieds. But they will try.

THE BIG BOYS OF SUNDAY – Pats at Brett and the Jets tops the list. Ground control sans Major Tom looks to be in the offing for the Pats. I think they will still run the Read more

Trash Talk Is BACK!!!

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The Brett Favre drama has kind of sucked up all the attention in the off-season, so it’ll take some time to get figure out what happened in the off-season. For this season opening trash talk thread, then, I’ll just let you all weigh in on the following questions.

Most importantly, which will have more viewers, that wrinkly white dude’s presidential nomination acceptance speech, or the Super Bowl Champs taking on their division rival?

Will anything that happens in Mile High this year electrify the crowd as much as last Thursday’s doings?

Which Manning brother will have better success this year, Venus–with a gimpy knee–or Serena–without two of the key defensive contributors from last year?

Which division will be more competitive this year, the AFC South (Colts, Jags, Texans, and Titans) or the NFC East (Giants, Skins, ‘Boys, and Iggles)?

Otherwise (since my muse has been beaten by the server gods), I send you to First Draft for this post. Since nasty nasty seems to be the mood of the last day or so, I feel okay indulging in this sort of mean-spiritedness.

There’s something I’m really, really hoping for tonight.

I hope that the football game runs long.  Really long.  So long that NBC has to cut away from it to show McCain’s speech in Minnesota.

Will there be a repetition of the infamous Heidi incident?  Not in New York or DC, as NFL contracts now require that broadcasters show games to their conclusions in their home markets.  But what about the rest of the country?  Wouldn’t it be great if NBC (the network, by the way, responsible for the aforementioned incident) cut away from the final few minutes of tonight’s NFL season opener to cover Oldy McBoring’s speech to the moribund GOP?  Wouldn’t that be great?  Man, lots of people would be pissed at McCain!  In addition to the NBC switchboards being melted by overuse, the RNC would see a lot of heat, as well.  It’s been a long year without football, as far as NFL fans are concerned, and they’d probably despise missing even a minute of the season opener.

photo by ButterflySha

Mourning The Loss Of A Giant Recently Passed – Sunset Musings II

PrickyDespite the wall to wall coverage, not just on NBC and MSNBC, but all the networks, the hand wringing, the eulogizing, the lionization, the body lying in state at the Kennedy Center, and the funeral worthy of royalty, not enough has been said about the recent passing of a giant. Probably because all that bleating was about Saint Tim of Russert. I am talking about a different giant. A giant in my own family has passed. Granpa Pricky.

Granpa Pricky was our 24 foot tall saguaro cactus that majestically guarded the east entrance to Casa de bmaz since at least several decades before Casa de bmaz was built, and our house is almost fifty years old. Just woke up one morning and there it was, keeled over into the road. Saguaros are truly Pricky 1grand and majestic entities, standing tall as the guardians of the Sonoran desert. Granpa Pricky was not just a centurion, he was a home as well. There are now a couple of homeless woodpeckers. Actually these peckars don’t even peck wood that much. They like to perch on my chimney and wail on the metal vent cover on the top. Sounds like a freaking machine gun or jackhammer in the house. Very annoying. Metalpeckers.

At any rate, an autopsy was conducted. Any and all of these photos can be enlarged by clicking on them.

The whitish material in the center is very squishy. There is simply a ton of moisture in saguaros. And we don’t even have the cacti on drip systems; all they get is rain water, and it does not rain that much here. It is kind of fibrousPricky 3 pulp like stuff. People trying to survive in the desert desperate for water cut up that pulp and put chunks in their mouth to suck the water (and there is a lot) out. The cactus does produce a red, bulbous, pretty sweet fruit that is fully edible and not bad. Granpa Pricky died on June 5. Here is a photo just taken of the same cross section depicted above.

Note how the pulp is shrinking as opposed to the outer shell and especially the spine. The spine is the circle of dowel like looking things in the middle. When you tap on the outer surface of the pulp, which has hardened, you can tell from the sound that Read more

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