Alright you mopes. There you were buggering up EW’s nice threads, demanding to talk football. Can’t blame ya there. The Motor City Kitties have a new QB, and a good one I think. And now the NY Jets Jets Jets do too, having traded up in order to go full Sanchez.

Trash it up and keep Marcy’s nice substantive threads clean will ya? Thank y’all.

Sorry about the sparse posting but your happy hosts here are, you know, off being happy this weekend. Marcy has pounded her poor fingers into a pulp and me, well I am tired just from watching her. So here is a copy of my brackets for the NCAAs. I was 15-1 at the end of the first day Thursday. Looked simply golden I did. Then Friday came. Jeebus, what a nightmare, and Cleveland State taking out Wake Forest seriously buggered a whole side of my bracket. My bracket I filled out is here to the right; click on it for a full size and then comment on how much better you are doing.

So today is my wife’s birthday and we are up in Sedona at Junipine Resort on Oak Creek with our daughter too. It is absolutely beautiful here. Enjoy yourselves, trash the joint up, and consider this an open thread to chit chat, post and discuss anything you wish. Cheers.

Back by popular demand: It’s teh Wheelhouse March Madness Road to the Final Four Bracket Extravaganza! I gotta tell you, this is a great year to argue for your favorite team, because with the exception of a few small conference champion entrants, there is a lot of parity in the field, some key injuries here and there and some intriguing matchups. Bottom line, this is a very unpredictable field and it will be very hard to pick all the way through the championship.

Click on the graphic immediately to the left for a full size detailed set of brackets that include teams, dates, locations and times of the games. Here is a link to a fully printable set of brackets you can print off and fill out.

And this year, the first in the last eight that we have not had an imbecilic moron in the White House, we have a special treat for you: Baracketology. Yep, the Big O fills out a set of brackets!

Now, we have a bit of a conundrum here. Marcy is not, by nature, a hoops fan; she like those funny looking footballs instead of the perfect symmetry of Dr. Naismith’s round ball. And we may have a hook to reel her in with. Yep, a honest to god real live team from Michigan that is in the playoffs and that doesn’t involve octopi on ice. That’s right, the Michigan Wolverines are in the Big Dance thanks to that nice coach, John Beiline, they stole from Christy Hardin Smith and the fine folks of West Virginia. Big Blue plays Clemson at 7pm Eastern Thursday night in the Kansas City portion of the South bracket. Of course, her odds are better with Michigan State, which will play a puny 15 see, Robert Morris at 10pm Eastern Friday night.

Obviously, those games are not quite as exciting as the ASU Sun Devils’ first foray into the dance since 2003. ASU will be playing Temple at 2:45pm Eastern in the Miami portion of the south bracket. If you haven’t seen the Devils in the last couple of years, they have a fantastic sophomore guard, James Harden, who was the Pac-10 player of the year and a consensus first team All-American. He is really good. They also have a senior center, Jeff Pendergraph and a point guard, Derek Glasser that are pretty good. Temple has a couple of studs in Dionte Christmas and Lavoy Allen that can light it up. Quite frankly, I am worried Temple may upset the Devils. But, like EW, I have a back up plan, the University of Arizona Wildcats, who are making their 25th straight NCAA Tournament appearance. One of the truly great programs, they are a little off kilter this year thanks to the sudden medical retirement of Hall of Fame coach Lute Olson. The Cats will be playing Utah at 7pm Friday night. Believe it or not, I think the Cats have a pretty good shot of upsetting the higher seeded Utes.

Well, that is the story for the mopes from Michigan and Cactus Land; you each have your own story and reasons behind it. Ante up in comments and let’s get it on.

This is it baby, the big finale. All the marbles come down to these two: One Red. One Black. One will leave with the Lombardi Trophy in hand, the other with the regret of the world’s biggest runner-up percolating in their gut for the entire off season, maybe for the rest of their lives.

Parting is such sweet sorrow; nevertheless, with this game will come the end of another season of football trash talk here at Emptywheel. Yes, we occasionally whip out a trash talk without football (March Madness and the start of the F1 Circus are certainly possibilities), but it isn’t the same without the pigskin in the air.

What a season it has been, from the tantalizingly close to perfect season by the Pats that came just a few points short to Good Eli and the Gents in Super Bowl 42, the entire complexion of the 2009 season inexorably changed with the loss of Tom Brady in the first few minutes of this year. For eleven games Brett was Favre and all was magical; then it wasn’t. The San Diego team looked like the Clippers for the first twelve games, then they caught lightning and were Chargers on into the playoffs where they again went Norval. When it was all said and done, it was the Stillers and the Cardinals, yes the Arizona freaking Cardinals, left standing. And, thus, here we are.

Who are the Arizona Cardinals’ fans? I’m not quite sure, but I appear to live in the town that houses almost all of what few there are of them. Oh, and even here I have not noticed the whole town being painted red and buildings redecorated in team colors and insignias like it was purple for Barkley and the Suns in 1993 and the Diamondbacks in 2001. Da birdz de rojo get no respect I tell ya. And if all that were not bad enough, now That One is climbing on the dogpile,

Q. The Steelers or Cardinals, sir?

THE PRESIDENT: I have to say, you know, I wish the Cardinals the best. Kurt Warner is a great story and he’s closer to my age than anybody else on the field, but I am a long-time Steelers fan. Mr. Rooney, the owner, was just an extraordinary supporter during the course of the campaign. Franco Harris was campaigning for me in Pittsburgh. So —

THE VICE PRESIDENT: Coach signed up with you, too.

THE PRESIDENT: Right, Coach Tomlin was a supporter. So I — you know, I wish the best to the Cardinals. They’ve been long-suffering; it’s a great Cinderella story. But other than the Bears, the Steelers are probably the team that’s closest to my heart.

Jeebus. Oh, and Vice-That One (D-MBNA) too. How special. Freaking frontrunners. Well, on that lustrous note, lets get down to business:

THE RED – The Cardinals? The Arizona Cardinals?? Good golly Miss Molly how did the NFC end up with the Cards as its representative? I mean, seriously, wasn’t everyone sure the NFC East was the best conference in football? What happened to that? Romeo of Dallas still has the bimbo jinx, ever plumping, girlfriend, TO is whining again, and all of the Giants’ receivers are in the gunshot wound clinic. The Packers probably could have been in the hunt if Ted Thompson hadn’t have traded the entirety of the team’s balls to the Jets. Bears and Vikes still don’t know what a quarterback is. And, so, hailing from the lowly NFC West, here come the Red Birdz! Gotta love it.

Hey, why not? Kurt Warner has got to be the most unappreciated two time league MVP, Super Bowl winner and MVP on the planet. Well, he is back. He really needs a certain kind of offense, with wild ass receivers and a back that can catch the release out of the backfield, but, hey, give him that and he is deadly. Turns out that the Cards have this spidey man dude, Larry Fitzgerald. And Anquan Boldin (who will be fine for the game by what I hear) and Steve Breaston are pretty darn good too. Like Nixon and Elvis, the Edge is rested and ready for these playoffs and he is playing for his future as a featured back in the NFL, watch for him to prove his worth with a big performance. The real reason the Cards are still here though is their defense, which has come on late and strong. Antrelle Rolle, Adrian Wilson and the Rookie, Dominic Rogers-Cromartie have given the already underrated line and linebackers some deep protection, and it has made all the difference in the world. If the Cardz stand a chance, it will be because their defense rose to the occasion, not the supposedly vaunted offense.

THE BLACK – Contrary to the Cards, we know how the Stillers got here. They slugged it out in death cage battles with every team in their path, and possess one of the most impressive defenses I have ever seen. Certainly didn’t hurt the Steelers that the Titans beat and pummeled the Ravens before narrowly losing, leaving the Ravens with not enough left in the tank for the Stillers. Before we move on, how about a shout out to Chad Pennington and the Fish; awesome effort this year. Tuna + Fish – who knew they went together so well?

The Steelers look pretty scary if you ask me. They were still beating top notch competition when Fast Willie Parker was slow and out; now that he is back you have the full offense. Big Ben is a better passer than people give him credit for, he just isn’t asked to be Dan Marino in the traditional grind it out Pittsburgh offense. All Ben does is win, and he will put the team on his shoulders when he has to. But, of course, the heart and sould of the Stillers is the defense. You already know about the Polynesian Wrecking Ball Troy Polamalu, but don’t forget Ryan Clark, the guy who about decapitated Willis Magahee. James Farrior has been solid at linebacker for a long time, and his pal on the outside backer spot, James Harrison, well no less than Tony Dungy thought he ought to be the league MVP over Peyton Manning. That is pretty high praise, and deserved too, Harrison is very good. And all coordinated by Dick Lebeau, another former Detroit Lion who has gone on to win Super Bowls with the Steelers (there are a lot of those).

So, there is my rundown, with some input from Marcy, please add yours in comments. Well, now for the hard part. And for that, I am going to stay consistent. I have made and laid my bones throughout the playoffs on one simple contention: The Cardinals suck, no way can they win. No way I gonna quit while I am ahead and the devious plan is working. Stillers baby!

[I would like to thank NewtonUSR for the video mix above, it was a special request and he really came through. If you want a little hard hitting theme music, check out The Red and The Black, that is where the concept for the post came from]

Phred skipped town and forgot to take the hubcap she won last week, so you all have a chance to win it off of her while she’s not looking. (She did, however, leave her picks behind–going with the home teams–so you still all have her picks, if not her trash, to contend with.)

Before we get to the Conference Championship games, though, I have to send my apologies to masaccio for stealing his Defensive Coordinator. My apologies, too, to Jim Schwartz. As Mitch Albom put it, this is where "coaches come to die."

Schwartz, 42, with an economics degree from Georgetown and 10 years in the Titans organization, is, by all accounts, a very smart guy. He inherits the worst team of all time. So you might ask how smart can he be? He said recently he never shrinks from a challenge. But he might want to tiptoe back a few steps and put Detroit in perspective.

Because here is what he walked into: This team is very thin in talent. It has no discernible leaders. It has a leftover defeatist attitude that found a home in many a locker. There are players here who will be going on their third or fourth Detroit coach with no success.

That doesn’t inspire confidence.

More importantly, Schwartz has agreed to work for an owner who has shown no gift for football wisdom, and for a two-headed front office that has been here through season after season of failure.

Mmmmm. Self-flagellating trash talk!!

So. Now onto the teams that won some games this year.

Atrios’ Eagles at bmaz’ Cardinals: Hahahaha! Did you see that? bmaz‘ Cardinals?? What better way to drive bmaz nuts, then to make him root for the home team. Before I do any analysis, let me just ruin the ending. The Cards have to lose this weekend. bmaz is–finally–beginning to believe in Cardinals magic, so you just know he’s going to get the failure to execute he’s been predicting for the last several weeks.

Now, mr. ew just announced to me that our next dog will be named Fitzgerald (McCaffrey the MilleniaLab is named after the Broncos’ Eddie McCaffrey). That was some unbelievable play from Larry Fitzgerald last week. And, as I said last week (even while picking them to lose), the Cardinals all of a sudden found a defense and their Edge. But this game is going to be decided by a chess match between Ken Whisenhunt and Jim Johnson. And I’m betting that chess match will result in Kurt Warner spending a lot of time on his ass, trying to crawl out from under a stack of Iggles. If the Iggles get to Warner as much as I think they will, I expect we’ll be seeing the Warner of ouchy fingers from a few years ago.

cheflovesbeer Ravens at scribe’s Stillers: I gotta tell you, scribe has been emailing just about every 20 minutes with an update on how cold it is in Pittsburgh. Comparing it to the temperatures in Alaska, and Siberia. To me. Sitting in Michigan. Actual temperatures of 13 below tonight. And then he sends a story about how Pittsburgh had to move inside "because the field is frozen." As if that makes the Stillers look studly? Also in the stud (not!) category is Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl who tried to officially change his name to Steelerstahl–but screwed it up, partly because he didn’t pony up the $108 to pay for it. Look. I know a guy who changed his name to Lucious N. Delicious. That took balls. Not-quite-Steelerstahl? Nut uh. That’s like putting up crappy Wal-Mart blinds instead of a Steel Curtain.

Now, scribe seems to think that all this indoors practice in Pittsburgh is somehow gonna get his team a trip to the Super Bowl. That’s just not going to be the deciding factor–certainly not on Sunday, when it’ll be a balmy 29 degrees. I do, however, think the Stillers will win this. Partly because I was way wrong last week about how studly Rotty is (and did you see him kick that fine pooch kick?). But also because the Ravens are still recovering from the beating the Titans gave them last week, with Samari Rolle doubtful and Terrell Suggs and Derrick Mason questionable. Sure, Ed Reed still owes me that touchdown he failed to score last week. But that’s not going to be enough against Rotty and an apparently healthy Fast Willie.

Update: This is from Doc at First Draft. I had to include it in a probably futile attempt to shut scribe up about how studly his Stillers are.

It was -16 out where I live this week, with -40 wind chill in the air. I left the house exactly three times in the past four days. Once to put out the garbage, once to get groceries and once on the first day of the freeze when the temperature was announced as being -13. The reason? It was the exact temperature and wind chill of the famed Ice Bowl game and I had to see what it must have been like. What I learned is that it’s a miracle that any of those guys lived. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to smile and it hurt to walk. The snow squeaked under my feet and refused to cling to my shoes it was so cold. My eyes teared up and then the tears froze between my eyelashes, effectively freezing my eyes shut. Bart Starr, the famed Packer quarterback, once said he got cold just talking about that game. I now understand more than I ever wanted to. Not like I didn’t respect them before, but a big tip of the cap to those guys. I get it now.

See, walking through similar weather doesn’t make me all that impressed about the Stillers and their indoor practice efforts.

(Hubcap by ansik)

bmaz hasn’t given out a hubcap yet this year, so I’ve wrested control of the trash reins from him to offer up this shiny hupcap for the person(s) who correctly predicts this weekend’s winners.

Before I get into my choices, though, I gotta congratulate JimWhite’s Gators on a superb game on Thursday. Actually, I’d like to congratulate freep’s Sooners, too, even if they’re in Norm Coleman recount land. It was a great game, but–as should happen–some kickass defense won the game.

Also, WTF are the Brownies thinking, hiring Mangy Mangini? I kind of like liked the Brownies in recent years.  Yet they had to go replace a consummately likeable BillBel protege–Romeo Crennel–with the snitch who tried to turn Brett Favre into a hand-off machine? Really? Well, I guess that’ll make it easier for me to decide which of the several excellent teams in the AFC North to cheer for next year.

BAL-TEN: (Tennesee won in Baltimore in week 5, 13-10) Speaking of which, I’m predicting the hot Ravens will beat masaccio’s Titans today. This is the game that pits experience (Collins) against youth (Flacco), and two great defenses against each other. In the end, I think the game will be close, but after you add in the touchdown that Ed Reed seems to believe he’s entitled to each week, the Ravens will pull out ahead.

ARI-CAR: (Panthers beat the Cardinals in Arizona 27-23 in week 8 ) My bet against bmaz’s home team was the only thing that sunk me last week, but I feel much safer this week in rooting against the Cards. Yeah, the Cards have discovered they have a Hall of Fame caliber runner they’ve been ignoring. Yeah, the Cards showed some superb D last week–and I do think that D will be able to somewhat contain Carolina’s running game. But I just got a feeling that the Panthers–and not either of the NFC East teams–will be heading to the Super Bowl this year. Steve Smith will make a couple of big plays against the Cards, which will lead them to obsess over him and leave Mushin Mohammed open to keep a lot of drives alive. Plus, Carolina is at home and Arizona is away–two more strikes against the Cardinals.

PHI-NYG:  (The home team lost each of the regular season match-ups, with Giants winning 36-31 in week 10, and the Eagles winning 20-14 in week 14) I’m tempted to say the Eagles will win this. I say that not just because the away team has won each of the games played this year. And not just because the Giants have sucked since their star wide receiver got picked to be IL’s next Senator. And not just because the Manning boys do better without a week off. But the Eagles have the momentum here. That said, Brandon Jacobs is much healthier than he was in week 14. And to win, the Eagles would have to look like the screen-throwing team they used to be. Given the potentially crappy weather for the game, I reluctantly go with the Giants (even if I expect Bad Eli to show up for the game–god I hate predicting Manning wins). 

SD-PIT: (Steelers won at home 11-10 in week 11) When’s the last time you saw a game in which the punter was the MVP? Because that’s certainly what happened last week, with SD’s Mike Scifres single-handedly compensating for Peyton’s ability to gain ground on the Bolts. And for that reason I’m calling this game for randiego’s Bolts. They got rid of their East Coast curse in week 16. Rivers was playing truly inspired football at the end of the season. And Rotty tends to play even more inconsistently every first game back after he bangs up his noggin. Yes, kicking anything at Heinz Field is a dicey proposition on the best of days (though Scifres did well in similar weather in week 11). But Pittsburgh’s O has just been struggling too much of late–even before Rotty’s latest blow to the head–to win what will be a field position game. Add in the fact that the weather will probably have cleared up enough by game time to allow Rivers to be effective, and I think the Bolts win a close one.

(Hubcap picture by jillciardy)

The Phoenix Suns once, thrice actually, had a coach named Cotton Fitzsimmons. A wonderful man, and a great coach (10th winningest coach in NBA history actually). Cotton was a diminutive man with outsized character; he may be one of the only men in history that could consistently put Charles Barkley in his place, and it was with such charm that Chuck loved him like a father. Anyway, Cotton had this theory that it was always important to win "getaway games". And Cotton defined getaway games as the last home game before a big road trip or the last game before the playoffs. He always wanted to roll into tough situations on a positive note. Smart man.

Well, this is the last week of the regular season in the National Favre League, and for those teams headed to the playoffs, or trying desperately to get into the playoffs, we got some getaway games. Eli, Coughlin and the Giants showed what it meant last year to play hard on a getaway game in the last week, even when you are already in the playoffs and it won’t affect your seeding. Even though they lost to the Patriots, they played their hearts out and left every ounce on the field. What they gained from that effort propelled them all the way to the Lombardi Trophy. Oh, and don’t miss today’s video, it is some excellent getaway music.

Fish at Jets and Pats at Bison: Let’s be honest, this is all one big game, and it is going to be for all the marbles. If the Dolphins win, they win the East and they are in the playoffs; if they lose and the Bills beat the Pats, the Jets are in. If the Jets win and the Pats win, the Pats are the East champs. Even if the Dolphins win, the Pats can get in as a wildcard if the Ravens lose to Jacksonville. The Jets get in as a wildcard if they win and the Pats beat Buffalo, so long as the Ravens lose. I really, and I mean really, hate to say this, but I think the Dolphins will beat the Jets, the Pats will beat the Bills, and the Ravens, being the home team, will beat the Jags. This, sadly, means that Brett, the Jets and the Pats all go home. Totally sucks, but that is how I see it; the Fish and Ravens win getaway games.

Donkos at Bolts: The other bare knuckle brawl for all the marbles is the Denver boys going to the beach to visit Randiego. Having spent some time in graduate school at Boulder, I am a bit of a Broncos fan, and I have always admired Mike Shanahan. I am again really sad to report that I think the Bolts will win this getaway game and head into the playoffs with as much steam as a weak kneed 8-8 team can muster. Then Norval Turner will show just what kind of coach he is and promptly lose to a wild card challenger.

In the rest of the games, Giants win a close one over the Vikings in Minnesota; Panthers beat the Saints in N’awlins; Lions end their season of historic incompetence in the home of the Green Bay Packers; Rams lose in HotLanta to the Falcons; Bears succumb to the Texans in Houston; Titans make it close, but get kicked by the Colts in Indy; Browns get rolled by Big Ben and the Steelers; Raiders get walked off the plank by the Buccos in Tampa Bay; Chiefs beat the hapless Bengals in Cincy; Cowboys scalp the Eagles in Philly (and that could be an ugly scene); Redskins lose in a close game to the up and coming 49ers in Frisco; Seahawks go back to their losing ways and give the Cardinals a getaway victory at home, and with it, only the second winning season in the more than twenty years the bumbling birds have been in Phoenix. Then, like Randiego’s Bolts, they show their true nature and become fodder for a wildcard challenger

Here is the complete playoff picture and calculations from Fox Sports, because this is really what is important at this point:

NFC EAST

New York Giants
Giants have clinched NFC East division title, first-round bye and homefield advantage throughout NFC playoffs.

Dallas Cowboys
Cowboys can clinch playoff spot with:

1. Cowboys win.

Philadelphia Eagles
Eagles can clinch playoff spot with:

1. Eagles win AND Bucs loss AND Bears OR Vikings loss.

NFC NORTH

Minnesota Vikings
Vikings can clinch NFC North title with:

1. Vikings win, OR …
2. Bears loss.

Chicago Bears
Bears can clinch NFC North title with:

1. Bears win AND Vikings loss.

Bears can clinch playoff spot with:

1. Bears win AND Cowboys loss AND Bucs loss.

NFC SOUTH

Carolina Panthers
Panthers have clinched playoff spot.

Panthers can clinch division title and first-round bye with:

1. Panthers win/tie, OR …
2. Falcons loss.

Atlanta Falcons
Falcons have clinched playoff spot.

Falcons can clinch division title and first-round bye with:

1. Falcons win AND Panthers loss.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Buccaneers can clinch playoff spot with:

1. Buccaneers win AND Cowboys loss.

NFC WEST

Arizona Cardinals
Cardinals have clinched NFC West title.

NFC eliminated teams: 49ers, Lions, Packers, Rams, Redskins, Saints, Seahawks

AFC East

Miami Dolphins
Dolphins can clinch AFC East title with:

1. Dolphins win.

New England Patriots
Patriots can clinch AFC East title with:

1. Patriots win AND Dolphins loss.

Patriots can clinch playoff spot with:

1. Patriots win AND Ravens loss.

New York Jets
Jets can clinch AFC East title with:

1. Jets win AND Patriots loss.

Jets can clinch playoff spot with:

1. Jets win AND Ravens loss.

AFC NORTH

Pittsburgh Steelers
Steelers have clinched AFC North title and first-round bye.

Baltimore Ravens
Ravens can clinch playoff spot with:

1. Ravens win.

AFC SOUTH

Tennessee Titans
Titans have clinched AFC South division title, first-round bye and homefield advantage throughout AFC playoffs.

Indianapolis Colts

Colts have clinched playoff spot.

AFC WEST

Denver Broncos
Broncos can clinch AFC West division title with:

1. Broncos win/tie, OR …
2. Chargers loss/tie.

AFC eliminated teams: Bengals, Bills, Browns, Chiefs, Jaguars, Raiders, Texans

That’s all folks. Please litter and trash appropriately!

The penultimate week to the regular season schedule in the National Favre League is upon us and, as many of you have already discovered, the hostess’s team is playing the janitor’s team. Yep, bmaz’s Arizona Cardinals (I don’t really claim the losers, but they are my home team) are visiting Marcy’s gridiron heroes, the Patriots. Apparently there are other games being played too. But, before we get to that….

Did you know that Brett Favre got more votes in Minnesota than Coleman and Franken? Yep, it is true. Has to be true, I saw it on that whiz kid Nate Silver’s site, and the dude has been right on about everything else. Nate says Brett cleaned out teh "Lizard People" too (I guess that means he beat Richard Shelby, Bob Corkass and friends, the "lizard liars"). Okay, so it was for President that Favre beat Coleman and Franken, and it was just a write in, but Brett Favre kicked their ass! Just like he is gonna do to the Seahawks Sunday!

Well, now that we have covered the Minnesota Election Trash, let us get back in our normal groove. By popular request, this week’s musical selection is from The Tubes, a pretty cool two song set (Prime Time and TV Is King) from some German TeeVee show patterned after American Bandstand or something. In their prime, The Tubes were an outrageously good band and put on a wild live show.

And now, for the games.

NATIONAL FAVRE LEAGUE: Well, as previously mentioned, there appears to be an American football contest going on up in New England. And, yes, EW is already beating me and the hapless Cardinals down. Go figure. Listen, first off, I didn’t pick these losers, they came here against my will. I actually participated in an effort to beg Jerry Colangelo, then owner of the Suns (later the Diamondbacks too) to start an expansion team here. But nooooo, the pissant Cardinals wanted a new stadium in St. Louis and was using Phoenix as leverage to get it. The fuckers in St. Louis called their bluff and they freaking moved here. Arrrggghhh! Oh well, they are all mine now. Lucky me. The Patriots, on the other hand, since the turn of the century, have turned into Lombardi’s Packers. They are big, bad, ruthless and good.

The Cards have no running game, rely on a precision passing attack featuring an ancient, fragile Kurt Warner who has small hands and can’t throw with a glove on. New England is not currently particularly balmy; you do the math, it ain’t looking real good. Oh, and the Cards have already clinched the National Conference West and didn’t even bother to mail it in last week against the Vikes. The Pats have Kevin Faulk, the Law Firm, Matt Cassel, Randy Moss and Wes Welker. Oh yeah, and Marcy is already promising that Richard Seymour is going to crush Warner. This isn’t good, Matt Leinart can’t even play in the sunshine, much less the tundra. Um, I may be lame, but I am not stupid; I am taking the Pats.

Ravens at ‘Boys: Well, the Cowboys sure dismantled Bad Eli and the Giants last week. Bad. Ray Lewis and the Ravens have a mean defense and Falcco has played well, but Dallas is playing for their lives and Tony Romeo, TO and Jason Witten got a taste of cohesive victory, and I think they will do it again. Chris McAllister being out for the season removes a shut down corner from the Ravens, and in this game, that is enough wiggle room for the ‘Boys.

Stillers at Oilers: Masaccio’s Titans, although still with only two losses, seem to be sliding fast enough that you would think they are Oily again. Big Ben and the Stillers just keep winning tough and ugly. But win they do. Albert Haynesworth is out. Albert is huge, and so is his loss. That is going to open enough running game for the Steelers to take a little more heat off of Roethlisberger than he has had lately. That is enough; Steelers roll the Titans in Tennessee.

Panthers at Gents: This is actually a huge game. Both teams are going to be in the playoffs, but this tilt is critical to seeding for home field. It is hard to pick against the Giants, especially at home. But the Panthers are on a roll and the Giants are not. Brandon Jacobs will play, but is hurt; D’Angelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart are not hurt and are flat out killing people. i am not sure about this, but I am prowling with the Black Cats.

Jets at Hawks: Bet you didn’t know this, this is the battle of the running Jones. Running backs Thomas Jones of the Jets and Julius Jones of the Seahawks are brothers (Julius is the younger). Thomas Jones has been money this year and you can run on the Hawks. Matt Hasselbeck is out, and Seattle will be QBd by Seneca Wallace from Iowa State, and he has played very well lately. But Seattle has squat for receivers other than Deon Branch, who is healthy now, but has had a slow, injury filled season. One wild card here is that it is Mike Holmgren’s last game in Seattle, so there will be that emotional aspect. The other wild card is that it will be inclement weather, may even snow; that favors the Jets I think. The Jets do not travel well to the west coast. Not at all. This game is a toss up because of the Holmgren factor.

Cheesers at Da Bears: The Monday Night Game is the age old black and blue Norse division tradition of the packers and the Bears at Soldier field. Bad weather. Snow. Cool, who could ask for more (unless, of course, it could be for Favre to be on the field here in a GB uniform where he belongs). Te Pack have terribly underachieved this year. Aaron Rodgers has played very well actually, but they really miss the swagger that left with Number 4. Bad. Based on the records, and where the game is played, you would think Da Bears will win. That is what you would think; me, I’ll take the Cheeseheads.

Brownies over the Bengals (man do they suck). Saints send the Lions to 0-15. Fish over the Chiefs, but I don’t feel great on this one, Chiefs could upset. Niners at Rams, who the hell cares, I guess one of them has to win. Bolts at Bucs; eh, I think the Frightening Bolts streak is over; Buccos carve em up. Broncs beat the Bison, and the Texans clock the Raiduhs. Iggles claw the Skins (can Zorn keep his job with quick draw Snyder?). And last, but not least, the Vikes beat the Dirty Birds in Minnehonka. Gotta love the Falcons, but they are fading now.

That is the run down for this week. Mix a toddy and get yer picks in. Oh, and trash it up!

I’m snakebit. Am driving down the road Saturday afternoon listening to NPR’s Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me when the first crushing blow occurs. The guest is CIA head honcho Michael Hayden, and the interview is actually superb. Seriously. Then I realize the dude has a great sense of humor; another blow to my world. Now comes the clincher; Hayden is from Pittsburgh and is a lifelong diehard Steelers fan. The host asks him what he thinks of Bill Belichick secretly taping other teams (Hayden is non-plussed by this) and then asks "Well, we know the NSA has secret tapes of everything, surely you must have some of the Patriots’ practices and plays, have you ever thought about covertly sending them to the Steelers"? Hayden quips back "Naw, the Steelers don’t need to cheat to whip the Patriots!" Now, between laughing my ass off and trying to grab my phone to obligatorily call Marcy and prick her with this nugget, I nearly run off the freaking road. Then, in all the inordinate joy of relating this wondrous story to EW, I blow by a photo radar setup. Go figure. Still, it all seems worth it.

Okay, enough hilarity; time to get down to business. Three weeks left in the season, it’s go time baby. There are teams that are going to solidify their hold on a playoff position, and there are teams that are going to start falling victim to the axe. Here’s the rundown:

Steelers at Ravens: Yep, the game of the week is the Chief Spook’s Stillers against the Baltimore Not Colts. Both teams are on strong late season rolls, and they have the top two defenses in the league with Pittsburgh number one and the Ravens number two. Rookie Joe Flacco has been excellent and the Ravens are uncharacteristically scoring a lot of points. Even though the Ravens have Ray Lewis, it is really hard to go against Ben Roethlisberger. But I’m going to. Ravens win at home.

Giants at Cowboys: In Dallas, Jerry Jones has finally got the sideshow freak circus he has been angling for all these years. As Condiliar would say, "Who could have imagined?" Yeah, well, they are going to have to take time off from the carnival to play Eli and the Gents, who have a little theater going themselves. I may be bat shit crazy, but I think the ‘Boys will win.

Broncos at Panthers: Another tilt where both teams are coming on strong at the end of the year. Denver certainly has the better quarterback, but Jake Delhomme has a knack for winning, and the Panthers can flat out matriculate the ball down the field on the ground. D’Angelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart are probably the best tandem RBs in the league (the Titans’ Chris Johnson and Lendale White are a real close 1A there). I think the Panthers’ defense is better than the Broncs though and Carolina wins at home.

Vikings at Cardinals: Whoo doggie, that Adrian Peterson is something. The Cardinals could have drafted him, but passed him up. Yeah, I know, how shocking; a stupid move by the Cards. Who’d a thunk it? Well, the Vikes aren’t real clean there either, they could have used a real quarterback and, strangely, thought that Tavarius Jackson was it. Oops. Creaky old gus Frerotte is hurt and is doubtful; very bad news for the Norske. More bad news: Kurt Warner isn’t hurt, and neither are Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. Cards win and send the Vikes back north worse for the wear.

Buccaneers at Falcons: Man, the Falcons have had a magical season considering the disarray they were in last year. Matt Ryan looks like the real deal and Michael "The Burner" Turner is a speedy bowling ball on wheels. The Falcons have palyed with focus, skill and heart all season, and their record shows the results. But Jeff Garcia flat out quietly wins games when it counts and the Bucs historically have the Dirty Birds’ number. They will again. Tampa Bay wins on the road.

Bills at Jets: Well the glowing promise that Brett and the Jets showed mid season has been wearing off fast lately. The wheels are getting real wobbly after a loss to the Niners last week in Frisco. But the Bills are feinting on the couch even harder; in fact, they just have not been the same since Trent Edwards conked his head against the Cards a couple of months ago. Marshawn Lynch hasn’t been running well lately either. Brett and the Jets, Jets, Jets get their mojo back and beat the Bills.

Lions at Colts: This here game is what I would call "Teh EW Special". It’s got her kittycats AND the really evil Manning brother. Let’s see here, hmmm Dan Orlovsky or Peyton? I think the Colts have a slight edge at QB. Aw, hell, the dolts have an edge everywhere and will dispatch the Lions to Oh and 14.

Rams bounce the Seahawks, Fish flip the Niners, Cheeseheads salvage a little respect and beat the sinking Jags, Marcy gets what she really wants and the Pats obliterate the Raiders, Texans have been cowboying up lately but not enough to fend off the Titans, Iggles claw the eyes out of the Brownies (and probably seal Romeo Crennel’s fate), Skins scalp the Bengals, and last, and really kind of least, the Bolts and Chiefs sputter to a 0-0 tie.

That is it for this week folks. It is getting cold out, suck up a few hot toddies, get yer swerve on and pitch some trash!

Well, I was going to add this to the main trash talk thread, but you folks gossipped up the joint right nice, so I decided to post it as a Part Deux. This version will be for the NFL Sunday games and some F1 news of significance.

National Favre League: It is another week of mostly unexciting matchups, even though many teams have effectively must win games. The game of the day is pretty easily the ‘Boys at the Stillers. Romo v. Rothlisberger; TO versus Hines Ward. Dallas has regained their swagger since Tony Romeo returned; Pittsburgh has just been gutting it out with tough fundamental football every week. Both teams have issues at running back Marion Barber is very questionable for Dallas and Fast Willie Parker is probable for limited duty for the Steelers. I have been trying to figure out who is going to win this game, and I have no idea. You all will have to tell me what is happening, as, thanks to the pissant worthless Arizona Cardinals, the game will not be shown in Arizona. I guess they are afraid people would watch other teams than them if given the choice; they are right.

The Falcons at Saints looks like a fun tilt too. Drew Brees has been literally ripping it up this year passing. Seriously, Brees is on a pace to break Dan Marino’s single season passing yardage record. But the Saints have been uneven, to say the least, and, at 6-6 need a win to keep their playoff hopes alive. The Dirty Birds are a shocking 8-4 and rookie QB Matt Ryan is playing like a seasoned pro. Since the game is in Nawlins, the Saints should win at home. Except the Dirty Birds have Michael "The Burner" Turner, and that and a conservative Matt Ryan will keep the ball out of Brees’ hands and garner a win.

The Sunday Night game of Redskins at Ravens looks interesting too. Both teams have excellent defenses, but I give the nod to Ray Lewis and the Ravens here. Not to mention the Ravens have Ed Reed, who has rather quietly had a career that is of Hall of Fame quality; the man is just flat out tough nuts, and he always plays. Coach John Harbaugh has rookie QB Joe Flacco on a short and conservative leash, but i have just never warmed up to Jason Campbell, especially in big games. Clinton Portis is hurt, but is a stud and is going to play. I’ll take the Ravens at home.

In other games, there will be enough Good Eli for the Gents at home to take out the Eagles. The Colts will continue the March of the Mannings and continue the lost season for the Bengals. The Packers will rope the Texans in Green Bay, although it should be close. I will predict right now that next year the Houston Texans finally break out nad make the playoffs; they are getting better. The cute pick of all the prognosticators has been that this is the week that Deetroit finally wins their first game, at home versus the Vikes. I don’t think so, "Yo Adrian" Peterson is going to run silly on the Motown Kitties. As Kanye West would say, "Richard Shelby hates Detroit. So do the football gods. Bears bag the Jags and the Titans take the Brownies. The Pats will stew the Seahawks, Broncos trample the Chiefs and Ricky Williams, Ronnie Brown and teh Fish will grind down the Bills. Those aforementioned worthless Cardinals will beat up on the Rams in the Big Toaster in Phoenix. And, in the penultimate game in the rundown, the MNF game of Bucs at Panthers could be pretty interesting. Both teams have veteran QBs that can win tough late season games; both have good defenses. The running game for Carolina has been superb lately, but Cadillac Williams is back for Tampa Bay. No clue here; it is a pick em.

Hey now, you didn’t think I would leave out Brett and the Jets did you? Of course not. The Bretts are visiting the Niners up in Frisco. The 49ers have been playing better and with a lot more emotion under Mike Singleterry, and should play tough; but the Jets need this win to keep a game ahead of the Pats and solidly in the playoff picture. J E T S Jets, Jets, Jets.

Formula One: Yep, like I promised, there is some fairly earth shattering news from the F1 Circus. Honda is withdrawing and will not challenge in the upcoming 2009 season. Next time you here Richard Shelby or some other union busting neanderthal idiot bloviate about how great the Japanese manufacturers are doing, just remember that Honda was forced to pull out of literally the biggest automotive showcase in the world because of financial concerns. From the Financial Times:

Honda announced on Friday that it would withdraw from Formula One, a startling pullout that has its origins in the dismal state of the auto industry and that is likely to have huge repercussions on the high-profile global racing circuit.

A glum Takeo Fukui, the chief executive officer of Honda, made the announcement at a news conference in Tokyo.

He called the company’s withdrawal from the series "a difficult decision" caused by the worldwide economic gloom and "the quickly deteriorating operating environment facing the global auto industry."

"I offer my sincere apologies," he said, "to everyone involved."
…
Honda has struggled badly this year, battered by weaker sales and a stronger yen. November sales, for example, were off 32 percent from a year earlier.

"Honda must protect its core business activities and secure the long term," Fukui said. "A recovery is expected to take some time."

For those of you that don’t know F1, or are just casual fans, this is just jaw dropping. There have already been questions about the status of Toyota’s fledgling F1 program, but the factory works has indicated that it is staying in. But, as to Honda, wow. Just wow. As recently as a year ago, the head of Honda Motorsports was saying the company would spend whatever it would take to win the F1 crown and they were thought to be chasing a top driver, perhaps Fernando Alonso from Renault or young Bruno Senna, an up and coming star and Aryton’s nephew, for future campaigns. All gone now. Sad.

The remnants of Team Honda, but in need of new engine support, may well be bought up, the current rumor is that there is heavy interest out of Dubai, and make a run yet in 2009. But with the season starting on March 29 in Australia, it is going to be extremely hard to get get an engine package (presumably from Ferrari) and test it out sufficiently to be competitive early in the season, if at all. But in order to fill the grid, I sure hope someone runs what is left of the works for 2009.

The bad news for motorsport does not end with Honda either. Team Audi has announced that it is withdrawing from European endurance racing including the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Audi is withdrawing from the American Le Mans series as well. Audi has long been dominant, a gold standard, in closed wheel endurance racing. This, while not of quite the level of Honda leaving F1, is still mind numbing.

The Republicans, with bellicose jackals like Richard Shelby, have plied their precious unregulated free market financial innovation trickle down happy horseshit to the catastrophic demise of not just this country, but the entire world. Thanks for the memories you soulless pukes.