Ahead of No Kings Day, the King’s Nobles are Getting Nervous
National (Life)Guard Basic Training
From Mike Kehoe, the Governor of Missouri, as he gets in the Executive Order business today:
WHEREAS, our citizens have the right to peacefully assemble and protest, and the State of Missouri is committed to protecting the lawful exercise of the citizens’ constitutional rights; and
WHEREAS, the events that are occurring or could occur in the cities of Kansas City, Springfield, St. Louis, and other affected communities, in the State of Missouri, have created or may create conditions of distress and hazards to the safety, welfare, and property of the citizens and visitors of the communities beyond the capacities of local jurisdictions and other established agencies; and
WHEREAS, the rule of law must be maintained in the cities of Kansas City, Springfield, St. Louis, and other affected communities, in the State of Missouri, for the protection, safety, welfare, and property of the citizens, visitors, and businesses of those communities; and
WHEREAS, additional resources of the State of Missouri are or may be needed to help relieve the conditions of distress and hazard to the safety and welfare of the citizens of the cities of Kansas City, Springfield, St. Louis, and other affected communities; and
WHEREAS, the conditions necessary to declare the existence of an emergency pursuant to Chapter 44, RSMo, are found to exist due to the potential of civil unrest; and
WHEREAS, an invocation of the provisions of sections 44.010 through 44.130, RSMo, is necessary to ensure the safety and welfare of the citizens of the State of Missouri; and
WHEREAS, in consultation with community leaders, public safety officials, and emergency preparedness officials, I have determined that the following actions are necessary and appropriate to provide for the safety and welfare of Missouri’s citizens, visitors, private property, and businesses.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, MIKE KEHOE, GOVERNOR OF THE STATE OF MISSOURI, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the Laws of the State of Missouri, including Sections 44.010 through 44.130, RSMo, do hereby declare that a State of Emergency exists in the State of Missouri due to civil unrest.
I further order, pursuant to Sections 41.480 and 41.690, RSMo, the Adjutant General of the State of Missouri, or his designee, to forthwith call and order into active service such portions of the organized militia as he deems necessary to aid the executive officials of Missouri, to protect life and property, and it is further ordered and directed that the Adjutant General or his designee, and through him, the commanding officer of any unit or other organization of such organized militia so called into active service take such action and employ such equipment as may be necessary in support of civilian authorities, and provide such assistance as may be authorized and directed by the Governor of this State.
This order shall terminate on June 30, 2025, unless extended in whole or in part.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and caused to be affixed the Great Seal of the State of Missouri, in the City of Jefferson, on this 12th day of June, 2025.
I can’t help but note some interesting language in this proclamation – phrases like “or could occur” and “or may create” in the second “whereas,” the phrase “or may be needed” in the fourth “whereas,” and especially “the potential of” in the fifth “whereas.”
Somehow, Kehoe manages to take all this subjunctive language about possible future situations as justification for his big THEREFORE: “I, Mike Kehoe . . . do hereby declare that a State of Emergency exists in the State of Missouri due to civil unrest.” I think he left “the possibility of” out of that last sentence, as that sentence probably ought to end with “the possibility of civil unrest.”
There have been plenty of protests across the state of Missouri over the last few months, in large blue cities and smaller red towns, and no reports of violence against people or property. None. Nada. Zip. The protests have targeted Musk and the DOGE cuts, RFK Jr’s dismantling of the nation’s public health infrastructure, the ICE crackdowns, and more, with the number of protests growing and spreading. This weekend, the planned No Kings protests have been gaining more and more attention, with more and more people getting more and more upset about what it being done in their names.
So the King’s Nobles are apparently pushing back.
First it was Texas and Greg Abbott, and now Mike Kehoe here in Missouri is trying to catch up. Some of this is surely a desire to show the King that they are following his example. The Nobles are also jostling with one another, as each seeks to shove him- or herself ahead of the others. That’s what the King’s Nobles do: they presume, they posture, they pretend, they position, and they pose, all so they can be seen by the King and gain the King’s approval.
The protest in Missouri I am wondering about this weekend is down in Springfield MO, in the southwest corner of the state. Broadly speaking, that’s a very conservative region (home to the Ashcroft clan and the Assemblies of God), though the city of Springfield itself has been represented in the state legislature by a Democrat. I was not surprised to see Kehoe mention St. Louis and Kansas City as hotbeds of (possible) discontent, violence, and mayhem. But Springfield? How did Springfield end up in this executive order?
Then I saw the Springfield television station KY3’s story about this weekend’s planned protests and it all became clear. “Ozarks Pridefest and Springfield’s No Kings protest will happen on Saturday in downtown Springfield” said the headline. It’s one thing for a bunch of lefty political agitators to march around with their signs, shouting their slogans, but quite another if you add the gays and their creativity to the mix. “Gov. Kehoe, let us show you how to pose . . .”
I can see it now . . .
Coming down the street as a unit are dozens of buff men in nothing but flip flops and red speedos, preceded by a banner that reads “Call out the National (Life)Guard!” They are marching in formation with pool noodles held out in front of them, mirroring the scenes in LA with lines of baton-wielding ICE and LAPD folks in their masks and top to bottom black uniforms. The unit’s leader carries a ring buoy, and he holds it high as his voice calls out like a grizzled drill sergeant: “Lifeguaaaaards . . . HALT!” and the formation stops in unison. “Shoulderrrrr . . . NOODLES!” he calls, and they put their pool noodles on their shoulders like rifles. The leader’s voice rings out again, “Sing out, Lifeguards! . . . I like my state like I like my scotch!” says the leader, and the the crew calls back “NEAT! (pause) NO ICE!”
Again the leader repeats the call, and now the crowds of people on the sidewalks start to join in on that “NEAT! (pause) NO ICE!” refrain. Again and again the leader calls, and again and again the crowd replies, getting louder and louder each time.
Then the leader stops. “Lifeguaaaards, Face OUT!” he shouts, and the formation splits in two down the middle, with each half turning to face the sidewalk on either side of the street. “To the currrrbbbb, MARCH!” and they step off in unison, stopping at the edge of the street. “Abouuuut FACE!” and they turn 180 degrees to face each other again.
He blows his whistle with three sharp tweets, waves his bouy back down the street, and every eye turns to see what’s coming. Two elegant queens are carrying a sign identifying the group following the (Life)Guards: “Call out the National Bard!” A second banner follows, announcing “National Bard Unit One: The E Street Chorus”, with leather-and-denim clad men, singing in full voice. They pass through the (Life) Guard lining the curb, and then chorus splits in half, and moves to the curbs as well.
Next comes a banner with “National Bard Unit Two: The Chicks” with a crew of lesbians singing something about Earl, and they too move to the curb to add themselves to the parade units lining the street.
National Bard Unit Three comes after them, the Guthries, singing about the Group W Bench, a restaurant, Thanksgiving, and the draft, and they get in line on each side of the streets next to The Chicks unit.
Finally, bringing up the rear, is National Bard Unit Four. There is no unit name on the banner, but everyone knows who this crew of singers are in their bright red and sumptuously bedazzled gowns, playing their banjos and fiddles. As they begin to sing, it is obvious that the (Life) Guard, the E Street Chorus, the Chicks, and the Guthries are their honor guard, and as the banjo-strumming, fiddle-playing, gown-wearing singers pass, the honor guard joins in the song of the Swifties unit:
‘Cause all you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic
And alone in life, and mean
And mean, and mean, and mean
All you’re *ever* gonna be is mean.
OK, maybe this is just a Boomer’s imagination of what Springfield will look like on Saturday, but still.
Donald Trump is afraid, and so is Mike Kehoe. That’s why they called out the National Guard.
What Trump fears isn’t loud voices spouting off against black-clad police. What Trump fears isn’t media pundits soberly pontificating about Rule of Law and whether The King can send the Marines to LA. What Trump fears is not sternly worded letters from Democrats as Susan Collins clutches her pearls.
What The King and all The King’s Nobles and all The King’s Men fear is mockery.
I can’t help but hope that the combination of Ozarks Pride and the No Kings protesters gives them exactly that, with Harvey Milk and John Lewis smiling down from heaven and watching folks making all kinds of Good Trouble.
‘Cause that would be fabulous!
The Germans have a phrase for what the MO governor is doing: Vorauseilender Gehorsam.
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Translated as “anticipatory obedience.”
If the standard is anticipatory violence, none of us are safe. Unless you are a Republican and can be found on a voter roll.
Thanks for that, and thanks to B McGee. This is a hallmark of emotional/psychological abuse: the abused are individually or collectively trained into self-generated compliance. Tracks with how I’m processing and thus trying to respond to this annus horribulus [sic] [too lazy to check spelling after this long week]
“…A group of drag queens and one drag king attended the same Kennedy Center performance of Les Misérables as Donald and Melania Trump on June 11.
“While the president, first lady and other MAGA A-listers received a mixed reception, drag performers Tara Hoot, Mari Con Carne, Ricky Rosé and Vagenesis entered to applause and cheers from the crowd.
“The subtle protest came after Trump seized control of the Kennedy Center’s board and named himself chairman in February, insisting that he would specifically ban drag shows from the venue…” https://people.com/drag-performers-crash-trump-kennedy-center-date-night-11753293
chef’s kiss
This is what I’m talking about.
Mock them.
Make them look small and petty.
Take their spotlight and own it.
And make them watch you do it.
Bwahahaha!
That photo of JORDAN and his wife walking past two of the performers!!!
He’s probably sad that he has to wear a jacket. “OK, OK, but I’ll only put it on once we get inside.”
If MAGAs have parades, show up with kazoos and vuvuzelas. It’s what they’re worth.
Peterr: Ever since Brandi Carlile’s album “By the Way, I Forgive You” was released, I’ll play “The Joke” now and then, or just think about the lyrics when I need to remind myself that there will be a end to this madness. I think the song especially pertains to your post.
Look for the official video of “The Joke” on YouTube. (I’m not sure about YouTube tracking URLs.)
BTW: The Taco lapel pin I got on eBay arrives in the mail on Friday. It’s just a taco, with tomato and lettuce…
Abbott in Texas, too. Prepping for the midterms?
Kehoe’s description that conditions may some day exist that would justify declaring a state emergency and calling out the state Guard would be inadequate, if Judge Breyer’s reasoning were applied in Missouri. In fact, isn’t Missouri the Show Me state? That is, prove it, bub.
Kehoe’s reply would be simple: “Show you? SHOW you? Look at Ferguson after Michael Brown died!”
But Breyer’s ruling doesn’t apply here. The big argument he was ruling on was the President’s ability to activate the National Guard without a governor’s consent. Kehoe is the governor, and has the (theoretical) authority to do this.
Of course, as I note above, Kehoe’s order still has a couple of major problems with all that subjunctive language used to justify his EO. But that’s not implicated by the discussion in Breyer’s ruling.
I believe that Breyer focussed on the use of the word “whenever” as qualifing the predicates in 10 USC 12406 , and implicitly determined that required the existence of objective circumstances as opposed to the existence of the matters being within the Presidents sole determination.
Kehoe’s declaration is weirdly constructed IMHO.
It is true that
Ss 41.480 in Chapter 41 RSMo provides https://law.justia.com/codes/missouri/title-v/chapter-41/section-41-480/
“41.480. Organized militia when called to duty — martial law. — 1. The governor may, when in his opinion the circumstances so warrant, call out the organized militia or any portion or individual thereof to execute the laws, suppress actual and prevent threatened insurrection and repel invasion. The governor, if in his judgment the maintenance of law and order will thereby be promoted, may by proclamation declare martial law throughout the state or any part thereof.
2. The governor may, when in his opinion circumstances so warrant, call out the organized militia or any portion thereof as he deems necessary to provide emergency relief to a distressed area in the event of earthquake, flood, tornado or other actual or threatened public catastrophe creating conditions of distress or hazard to public health and safety beyond the capacities of local or other established agencies.”
So large subjective elements.
But he purports to declare a state of emergency pursuant to Chapter 44 (ie Sections 44.010 through 44.130, RSMo,) and claims the conditions necessary to declare the existence of an emergency pursuant to Chapter 44, RSMo, are found to exist due to the potential of civil unrest;
The problem is thats s 44.100 is a definitional section in which “emergency”is defined
“6) “Emergency”, any state of emergency declared by proclamation by the governor, or by resolution of the legislature pursuant to sections 44.010 to 44.130 upon the actual occurrence of a natural or man-made disaster of major proportions within this state when the safety and welfare of the inhabitants of this state are jeopardized;”
https://law.justia.com/codes/missouri/title-v/chapter-44/section-44-010/
Clearly objective, and clearly relate to objective conditions of major proportions actually present, and to clear obvious present and immediate jeopardy to citizens.
It is noteworthy that Declaring an Emergency enables the Governor to expend money from the Missouri Disaster fund –
44.032. Emergency powers of governor, uses — Missouri disaster fund, funding, expenditures, procedures, purposes — aid to political subdivisions, when, procedure — expenditures in excess of $1,000, governor to approve.
So not only is this all objectively stupid bullshit, it also is about opportunities to misuse public funds bullshit too.
Is “martial law”, in the context of Missouri statute, the granting of law enforcement authority to the National Guard (or the Adjutant General for purposes of further delegation of that authority) for state laws? Does that also give the National Guard the authority to enforce locally enacted laws? Do local sworn officers have statewide authority in Missouri?
Peterr, you are my hero.
I even forgive you for using the words “noble” and “Abbott” in close proximity to each other. Ordinarily, they’re like “matter” and “antimatter”.
(I’m commenting from Texas, of course)
Will unnecessarily calling out the NG motivate more people to protest? Is it a step to self fulfilling prophesy?
The local news last night had multiple stories of folks expressing disgust with Kehoe, and I’ve had friends who, after they heard about this order, told me that for the first time they were going to one of the protests.
But will this become a self-fulfilling prophesy of violence? That I doubt. I think there will be more people at all the daytime protests, but I don’t think we’ll see the kind of overnight violent protests.
Right now, Kehoe’s order does nothing but allow the head of the MO NG to deploy guard members as he sees fit. No units have been called up and sent anywhere that I’ve seen, though some may have been put on notice to prepare for a deployment. That still could happen today or tomorrow morning, but it hasn’t happened yet.
Mockery on YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYsFvZcFOeA
This post is an absolute HOOT, Peterr! Thanks!
Thanks Peterr. I throughly enjoyed the Springfield parade image in my head.
To all the activated NG troops, enjoy your Father’s Day weekend. You can thank your Governors for ruining your plans.
TnT were on TNT last night as they took in the Stanley Cup in Florida. Taylor and Travis had to watch Leon Drysaitl put the dagger in the Florida Panthers on home ice that is sponsored by the J6 insurrection heiress of Publix.
I got hung up on by our right wing radio host on Wednesday for bringing her up and calling out Taco Trump. Keep on mocking and go Edmonton go!
Elbows up!
Thanks for the humorous light in a dark moment.
I pity the guardsmen who had their weekend ruined.
Here in sub-rural San Juan County, Utah, total population 10,000, the state police, sheriff, and city police have all conferred and are prepared for violence on NO KINGS DAY. No joke. It has definitely been broadcast throughout the state law enforcement network.
The event is going to be in Bluff, where the average age of citizens is maybe 70.
This would be a joke if it were not so serious.
I hear you. I enjoyed Peterr’s post very much (thank you!) and agree with the mockery angle – at the same time it’s very scary to mock when one anticipates an outsized gonzo reaction. It’s like the mirror image of all of the apologist BS “lighten up! Get a sense of humor!* – instead it’s “that’s not funny! this is serious so expect a serious reaction!”. Also, if state police etc aren’t pre-prepared in utter seriousness then the whole sham of violent agitators falls apart. Gotta escalate to keep that serious going. Good luck, hoping for a peaceful or even humorous outcome for San Juan Co.
That’s the line folks are walking.
Here in KC, the leaders of the protests have been talking to the KC police and vice versa. The KCMO police have expressed their understandings of what peaceful protests look like, and the policies that govern the response of the KCPD to various iterations of how things play out. The KCPD have an ugly history, but they have acknowledged this and are much more transparent about what is and is not allowed (from their POV) and how they will react.
The emphasis here is on surprises. You don’t surprise us with angry stuff and we will return the favor.
The key piece is this recognition that we are neighbors. I hope that the folks in San Juan County can have the kinds of conversations with the state police, sheriff, and city police.
I enjoyed Peterr’s comment. I should have been clearer what I was saying.
The jokes/satire are a very good way to confront MAGA. Maybe our best tool.
The joke I saw was the worried preparation by law enforcement for anticipated violence. Which I am sure came from on high. A complete misreading/purposeful misunderstanding of what could happen here in Bluff.
As noted in another comment, without the constant “be scared” propaganda, the charade of insurrection looks silly.
Marginally off topic, a question for Peterr:
With the NG being called up now in the second state with respect to anti-Trumpist protests, has anyone been talking about forming a professional counseling (in both senses of the word) group to help any Service members who want to stand themselves down from following illegal orders? This would not be C.O.-type counseling, as members would by definition not object to their service per se, but just to an illegal order.
The only recent example of such that I’m aware of is Ehren Watada, the Hawaiian 1LT who refused to be deployed to Iraq, although he asked to be sent to Afghanistan instead.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ehren_Watada
His lawyer, Eric Seitz, is probably a guy who should be brought into such a conversation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iin7wavCZAM
Another person to include in such a discussion is Markos Moulitsas.
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/6/10/2327140/-Trump-just-deployed-troops-to-California-where-my-son-is-in-the-National-Guard
My protest sign today is “Stone Cold Liar”
GI Rights hotline is advertising themselves as a resource for military members navigating how to respond to possible illegal orders.. This is a legit hotline dedicated to antimilitarism and helping GIs get out of the service. They provide options and are backed by the National Lawyers Guild. number is 1-877-447-4487
Thx, good to know.