Foster Friess, Anachronistic Dumb Ass

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Rick Santorum’s sugar daddy Foster Friess (b. 1940) lectured Andrea Mitchell (b. 1946) today about how girls back in his day avoided getting pregnant, as if social norms changed dramatically in the six years that separate them in age.

I get such a chuckle when these things come out. Here we have millions of our fellow Americans unemployed, we have jihadist camps being set up in Central, uh, Latin America–which Rick has been warning about–and people seem to be so preoccupied with sex. I think that says something about our culture. We maybe need a massive therapy session so we can concentrate on what the real issues are. And this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s such inexpensive. Back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.

But not only was Friess being a dumb ass, he was being an anachronistic dumb ass.

Back in his day–when he turned 21, before he got married–the FDA approved the pill. By the time he turned 25, Griswold v. Connecticut made birth control legal for couples. By the time he turned 30, over a quarter of all Catholic women were using the pill (and two-thirds were using some kind of birth control).

But we don’t have to look at actual history to know that Foster Friess is making shit up with his Bayer aspirin.

Foster Friess and his wife only had 4 children. Which suggests the couple found some means, aside from Bayer aspirin, to stop conceiving children.

It’s possible his gal did revert to her Bayer aspirin ways after the fourth was delivered. It’s possible that the marital troubles Friess’ official biographies describe, 16 years into marriage, led he and his wife to stop fucking altogether. It’s possible that when Friess became Born Again in 1978, he forswore sex forever.

But there are very few ways for a man to go through 72 years of life having fathered just 4 kids–particularly one who was married through 50 of those years. And Bayer aspirin between the knees is not usually one of them.

Update: Foster Friess was on Lawrence O’Donnell’s show today. When O’Donnell pointed out that he had just 4 children, Friess said he had been “blessed by contraception.”

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emptywheel @alymaybe Dunno and doubt it, but that'd be another great phish spam: wedding emails you need to opt out from.
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