God so loved the world he gave the Jets Tim Tebow

As Watertiger said on Twitter,

Welcome to Gomorrah, Touchdown Jesus. #youhavegottobekiddingme

There’s some other NFL news, too, about the Saints being slammed for their bounties. But that’s nowhere near as funny as the thought of Tim Tebow in NY.

Update: Ut oh. Maybe Goddess doesn’t love the world as much as I hoped.

Filed to ESPN (1): Denver and Jets have encountered hangup in language in Tim Tebow’s contract that could nullify trade

Marcy has been blogging full time since 2007. She’s known for her live-blogging of the Scooter Libby trial, her discovery of the number of times Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was waterboarded, and generally for her weedy analysis of document dumps.

Marcy Wheeler is an independent journalist writing about national security and civil liberties. She writes as emptywheel at her eponymous blog, publishes at outlets including the Guardian, Salon, and the Progressive, and appears frequently on television and radio. She is the author of Anatomy of Deceit, a primer on the CIA leak investigation, and liveblogged the Scooter Libby trial.

Marcy has a PhD from the University of Michigan, where she researched the “feuilleton,” a short conversational newspaper form that has proven important in times of heightened censorship. Before and after her time in academics, Marcy provided documentation consulting for corporations in the auto, tech, and energy industries. She lives with her spouse and dog in Grand Rapids, MI.

41 replies
  1. Jim White says:

    Do I have this right? Jets bring in Tebow to clean up the Dirty Sanchez? I doubt he even knows what that is…

    No, no, no, Jets. That voice from above said “Come to Jesus”, not “Trade for Jesus”.

  2. rosalind says:

    comment posted at Tbogg’s via Balloon Juice:

    Re St. Tim of Tebow: Great comment at Balloon Juice. “Denver had to sacrifice a virgin to win the Super Bowl.”

  3. nomolos says:

    If there was a god she would be laughing, as I am.

    I am a lifelong Patriots fan and I just love the move by the foot fetishist. Maybe the tebow, as he kneels after throwing yet another interception, can kiss Ryan’s feet, or his ass whichever make his loins quiver.

    Great news for Miami as they will not be bottom of the AFC East this year.

    Circle jerks for all in the Jets locker room this year.

  4. Peterr says:

    Watertiger is continuing to have fun on the Twitter Machine.

    “Tebow in NY” is one of those “You can’t make this stuff up” things for comedians.

    The only way this story could have been funnier is if the Jets played in Chelsea.

  5. emptywheel says:

    @nomolos: And add to that reports that BillBel might have considered Tebow (based, apparently, on his history of taking troubled players like Moss and turning them to gold). I never took that seriously, but I’m really happened that didn’t come to pass.

    May the Pats continue to have Tebow’s number.

  6. jo6pac says:

    @Petrocelli: I’m not a big Smith fan but this was the right move. Manning would have been nice but one solid hit and his career would be over. The 9ers did really will in the free agency area it’s almost like Eddie is back.

    Oh may be Sanchez could get out of NY and let begebus take over.

  7. nomolos says:

    @bmaz:

    Upton made an appearance in a June 2011 episode of Tosh.0, participating in a segment called “Knife or Banana”, emulating a Japanese game show in which she is stabbed with a banana.

    No Comment.

  8. GulfCoastPirate says:

    I’m reading Peyton stands to lose 8 million this year and Gregg Williams is gone for life. Ouch.

    If Tebow took the girl would he know what to do with her?

  9. SpanishInquisition says:

    @nomolos: “Ooh, ooh, ooh; want to learn how to defend yourself against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh? Well let me tell you something my lad! When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after YOU with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come cryin’ to me!”

  10. Bob Schacht says:

    @JohnT: Another devil, more details:
    Keep an eye on Manning’s contract with Denver for anything about medical conditions, which could turn Manning’s millions to dust, overnight.

    Bob in AZ

  11. emptywheel says:

    The latest from Adam Schefter:

    More craziness filed to ESPN: Jaguars are back in the mix, seeing if they now can pull off a trade with Denver for Tim Tebow.

    I guess Jax has to at least LOOK like they’re trying to fill those seats if the price is just a 4th rounder and some bonus money.

  12. Bob Schacht says:

    What I heard on NPR is that the Jets needed to juice ticket sales, which were lagging, and considered getting Tebow something that would interest fans.

    Bob in AZ

  13. emptywheel says:

    @CTuttle: Elway wasted little time with that, now he’s just trying to look like the Broncos lost less in the whole Tebow fiasco in the first place.

  14. Jim White says:

    @emptywheel: Oh, man. That has to burn Jimmy Fallon. I was trying to decide whether his song tonight would be “Heaving to a Jet Team” (Leaving on a Jet Plane) or “Timmy and the Jets” (Bennie and the Jets). Probably the second one, since it could be by Sir Elway John…

  15. rosalind says:

    for bmaz, rick reilly tweet re-tweeted by my espn mag girl crush molly knight:

    Andrew Luck/Stanford Pro Day is tomorrow. All 32 teams will be there, but AZ is sending head coach, OC, OL coach, PP guy, and 3 scouts. Hmmm

    followed by:

    Watched Andrew Luck rehearse his Pro Day Friday. Holy Cripes. This kid’s arm fell off God.

  16. orionATL says:

    payton manning’s problem isn’t his neck.

    it’s his head – he’s taken too many hits to the head.

    what other explanation could there be for going with a team like denver with a not-so-great offensive line, even if the broncos do bring in manning’s own personal center.

  17. scribe says:

    Any word on whether the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS have finished reading Tebow’s contract, something they didn’t bother to do before rushing to announce the trade so as to get a big media splash in NYC? Seems they cranked up the trumpet fanfare and announced the trade before reading the part that says they have to pay the Broncos $5.06 million – salary they’d advanced Baby Jesus.

  18. 4jkb4ia says:

    Is he actually going to start after all that money they threw at Sanchez?

    In the best possible scenario, Tebow could take Shonn Greene’s job. He’d be good at that. That is actually something the Jets need, too.

    I cannot believe this isn’t a joke.

    (ETA: Per NYT the new coordinator is interested in running the Wildcat, and Tebow will be the backup. That makes more sense then.)

  19. 4jkb4ia says:

    Well, with all the media attention going to Tebow there will be less for Rex Ryan and his mouth. You have to look on the bright side.

  20. geoschmidt says:

    The kid is tapping into something that is right…

    Let me say, I am not even Baptised, from a couple generations of … athiests… but I am down with those who do have good sound beliefs… I like what the guy says…

    If we don’t have any reverence for some kind of concept of a god/supreme being… well what do you put into that little gaddamned huge labriynth casm????

    No, you always must have some god type entity, or then it doesn’t work.

    One of the books I bought when I was kikked out of the high school… ( I then decided I would start reading books… so I went up to the town and with my meagre monies… purchased a few well chosen paperbacks… well… I learned about existentialism…. and I went through the works of the main Psychoanalists too… I gave em a chance to make their arguments… (like in me reading them that is) ,

    Well to boil it down for you… You may be smart, you be on top your game… but you may not really realize that the basis of what you are is… you are just a little ant, walking around….

    God… or something like something, like a “god” is there at the center. if you don’t see that you are a poor creature, my nieghbor’s cat is smarter than that… she comes over for the treat, that I do provide… can’t not throw her a piece of something… real goods… boy tell you what the damn cat loves just a little pc of real… meat/fish

    Hi there EMty… we who worked on the docks, we used to use a chalk, to mark emty containers… M/T but the waterfront… my best time was before the f’n containers took over… I know the waterfront, My grand dad, started logging in at about 1906, the year of the SF earthquake… that was a good year for the guys who worked the steam schooners… a couple of decades of work, for the… “Norwegian Navy”, who were the guys worked those boats.

    You know it sneaks up on me, that probably… people (wonks or what ) might not care about this biographical… and oblique shit… so, why am I interested in youre wonk?, well, cause I just am… Edd

  21. scribe says:

    @CTuttle: I suppose. But it’s right down there with “tell us whether you’d rather be traded to NYJ or Jax”.

    Oy.

    In other news, Green-Ellis now with the Bungles. There goes another promising career….

  22. geoschmidt says:

    @scribe: alex jones of all peole… no he is down on the ground as far as I would say.. but you might get some good from listening to his last nights show…

    you are a complete shit head pardner… total complete dodo. take your sports and shouve it up yoy know where.

  23. 4jkb4ia says:

    @rosalind:

    Another virgin sacrifice comment in the Lawyers, Guns, and Money thread. The commentariat are killing it as usual for a Tebow thread over there.

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