Late Night: Max Tax Baucchanal Grabs The Dental Floss
There seems to be no end to the duplicitous clean livers that are hiding cirrhotic private lives and peccadillos. Now, if you ask me, no one should be all that shocked Tiger Woods prowls like a big cat. He has been known to feel a kinship and run with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley pretty much since he left Stanford for the bright lights and big city attractions of the PGA traveling circus. Tiger didn’t want to be like Mike, he already was like Mike. The “right stuff” that makes the greatest athletes stand out above the mere all stars and all pros generally comes with a healthy quotient of carnivore like killer instinct and desire.
But the discovery that a holier than thou condescending family values prairie dweeb like Max Baucus (R-Dentalflossville) is footing the shack up of his latest shag, well that is a whole nuther thing. Who knew Max chased the skirts and dental floss just like those hedonists in California? And considering the Max Tax concubine was, at least for a while, one of his staffers, there is of course some relief it was not an intern. So he has got that going for him I guess.
Before the moment that is the Passion Of Max fleets from memory though, let the proletariat he arrogantly betrays daily in his day job as an elected representative of the people, nation and the collective interest not be lost as to the real upshot. But lost it will be if left up to the puerile panty sniffers in the main stream political media. For instance those deer hunting manly men over at Politico have two stories on their front page (here and here) on the Max Tax plan to boost his squeeze with an elite appointment to a coveted US Attorney position and, yet, not one mention of the hypocrisy exhibited by the revelation as framed against the Baucus constant braying for fiscal responsibility and reticence to provide a health care bill covering women equally and fairly. Go figure.
As an extra Late Night bonus, check out this story of the evil terrorist Christmas elf:
A man dressed as an elf is jailed after police in Georgia say he told a mall Santa that he was carrying dynamite.
Police say Southlake Mall in suburban Atlanta was evacuated but no explosives were found.
Police say Caldwell got in line Wednesday evening to have his picture taken with Santa Claus.
Police say when Caldwell reached the front of the line, he told Santa he had dynamite in his bag. Santa called mall security and Caldwell was arrested.
Caldwell faces several charges, including having hoax devices and making terrorist threats.
Good evening bmaz!
Aloha, bmaz…! Long time …! Roll, Tide, Roll…! ;-)
And boy howdy, I do believe this is the first time in my life I have passionately rooted for the Nebraska Cornfuskers.
Oh NO,,,,I am usually so indifferent…The Horns were great.
Top o the evening to you Eg.
Got my zircon encrusted tweezers an’ my pygmy pony, ready to be a dental floss tycoon.
max went the uncle (sam) route to pay his honey instead of going the mom/dad route like ensign did.
You’d think if she’s so damned qualified, she could find someone to nominate her who doesn’t have a conflict of interests.
I’m dressed as an elf right now.
Actually, what the elf said was, “I got dynamite in my trousers.” Apparently his statement got a tad misconstrued.
Let those who have never been tempted to hit on Santa throw the first stone…
“I got a rocket in my pocket, old man. Can I sit on your lap?”
Rocket envy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7vCww3j2-w
Oh noes, 13-12…!
is that dynamite in your pocket or are ya just happy to see me?
Elves are da bomb baby!
here’s the video to prove it :)
He has a pirate outfit too! Arrrrrrrr!
Is that some kind of cheap hook shot?
a cheap trick song about max?
Ought to be the Senate theme song…
Jeebus Lord Gawd. That was scarey as all get out.
thank you thank you very much (in best elvis)
I once drove by Elvis’ house.
I’ve driven by the house of an Elvis impersonator. Looks like a mini-Graceland, too.
Bob does a great Elvis impression, he eats constantly.
hahaha. but does he drink and do drugs at the same time. We all know he can sing.
fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches are the real test…..
I don’t even know how to respond to that.
heard it was his favorite sandwich — one he was unable to resist… the unofficial test to see if it was the real elvis or something
or maybe i am misremembering again….
Here ya go.
Hurts just to read it. I gain weight now on the low cal stuff. No mo bacon for me.
The man knew how to put the “epic” in “epicurean.”
*Gah* Bacon on PB&J…???
Low cholesterol is for sissies.
Long living sissies… Thank ya very much…! ;-)
Maybe the word “moderation” hadn’t been invented yet.
Ugh. That’s disgusting. A pound of bacon? ewwww.
I thought it was kind of wimpy too but maybe it was all they had.
Yeah, it does sound like the kind of sandwich that is invented with the only ingredients that are at hand. Yuck.
Correction, ALL the ingredients at hand. Probably dipped in lard to help it slide.
i thought that was what the champagne was for…
Naw, that is to forget what you are doing to yourself.
holy moly — 22 of em — and never left the hanger — wow
Well, there WERE three guys.
and the pilots
Yep, ’cause flyin’ just ain’t no fun if the pilots aren’t on the verge of a diabetic coma.
Fool’s Gold Loaf Sandwiches are the real test:
Did they have to call the Roto-Rooter man in the morning to clear out their arteries?
Bob in AZ
Been in and out of rehab but clean for a few days now. I think he means it this time…
From the video @15:
“TERRORISTIC?” Is that legalishy?
HERMEY! He looks like Hermey! The Misfit Elf!
Max probably hasn’t played pocket pool since last night. But his staff think he’s a naughty elf.
Welcome back from the front page and a marvelous book review.
As EW said in her main post, Baucus’ corruptly having health care “reform” bill written by a “staffer” lobbyist is what’s horrific, not that he’s as monogamous as David Vitter or Mark Sanford. That he bills the public for his mistress’, um, services is something that a competent legislature would inquire into. Hell, in England, an inquiry into questionable housing and other reimbursements for members has tied up Parliament and the front news pages for months. American “news” outlets seem more interested in whether the club that broke Tiger’s back window was a brassie or a mashie niblick, not that their airhead news readers would know the difference.
I heard that UA beat USC this afternoon. My local arizona board of regents member informs me that the UA football coach will not likely get a bonus for this feat.
As for Baucus, he is an old man so leave him alone!!! He’s gotta get out of life what few pleasures that are still available to him.
Yeah, I am glad for the Cats, but am not that crazy about Stoops. Unfortunately, they won’t be punting him now.
Sounds as if someone didn’t understand the humor of “Bad Santa.”
But, no doubt, the “war on Christmas” psychopaths will begin to embroider a secret Muslim sleeper cell plot around this simple mental aberration by someone who’s likely a SAD victim who’s been overcome by a screening of Glenn Beck’s “The Christmas Sweater.”
Thus ends an attempt to tie together as much Christmas craziness as possible. :)
*waving* nice to see ya again montag
Waving back (although it may not be visible, bundled up as I am against the cold)….
i’m feeling like randy myself — tis 28 here
I can totally see that in pumpkin: https://www.cmarket.com/auction/item/Item.action?id=101926618
Whew. I came over here to try to calm down after that Texas-Nebraska game.
I assume you are not from TX.
Au contraire. I live in TX and went to UT. But I am not as rabid a fan as some in the Gnome household.
Heh, I just answered ya over there…! ;-)
Isn’t time travel fun?
Time travel pair a ducks.
heart attack on bread
Got in the teens here last night. Only low 20s tonight. Not quite time for long pants yet.
Oh hell yes it’s time for long pants! Tell Bob he’d better look after you, see that you dress warmly.
Bob recommends an occasional nip. Hurts like hell.
Headin’ out. Splendid evening to all.
I don’t care how cold it gets as long as it isn’t hot. I hate the summers here. I could live in constant winter cept for the lack of full spectrum light or as Ron calls it, sunlight.
I just love my balmy climes… ‘Cepting up here on the mtn…!
It is good to remind yourself of your roots from time to time – Those lovely winters back home.
… entertaining Capt. Jerry Kennedy of the Denver Colorado police force, and Ron Pietrafeso of Colorado’s Strike Force Against Crime.
Never thought of Elvis as a law `n order kind of guy….
See this recently declassified ‘secret agent’ info:
From Mental Floss: ‘Elvis Presley Undercover drug agent’ LINK:
“Concerned about increased drug use in America, he petitioned Nixon in a handwritten letter proposing he be named a “Federal Agent at Large.” Elvis wrote, “I have done an in-depth study of drug abuse and Communist brainwashing techniques and I am right in the middle of the whole thing, where I can and will do the most good.”
(complete with picture of Elvis with Nixon and discussion of the guns Elvis was allowed to carry into the White House)
No further comment needed.
No further comment needed
I forgot the well documented facts about this meeting: that Elvis arrived at the White House without an appointment, was allowed to carry TWO guns into the White House , and to present one to President Nixon. FBI later authorized a 50 state carry permit for Elvis.
bmaz, you have raised the Late Night bar, dude.
Nothing quite like the dumbass look some people get on their faces when they find out you’re from Montana and have to ask, “did you grow dental floss?” That question certainly stops conversation. Forever.
What I have been wondering about for a while is why Conrad Burns is not in jail and why Bill Mercer is still US Attorney for Montana.
Thanks for the Frank Zappa video; it led to the CNN CrossFire video of Zappa scorching John Lofton on censorship and emerging theocratic fascism. Zappa was beautiful. Baucus is a dental floss tycoon. We need folk with the acuity of Frank Zappa, a genuine conservative.