Late Night: Max Tax Baucchanal Grabs The Dental Floss

There seems to be no end to the duplicitous clean livers that are hiding cirrhotic private lives and peccadillos. Now, if you ask me, no one should be all that shocked Tiger Woods prowls like a big cat. He has been known to feel a kinship and run with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley pretty much since he left Stanford for the bright lights and big city attractions of the PGA traveling circus. Tiger didn’t want to be like Mike, he already was like Mike. The “right stuff” that makes the greatest athletes stand out above the mere all stars and all pros generally comes with a healthy quotient of carnivore like killer instinct and desire.

But the discovery that a holier than thou condescending family values prairie dweeb like Max Baucus (R-Dentalflossville) is footing the shack up of his latest shag, well that is a whole nuther thing. Who knew Max chased the skirts and dental floss just like those hedonists in California? And considering the Max Tax concubine was, at least for a while, one of his staffers, there is of course some relief it was not an intern. So he has got that going for him I guess.

Before the moment that is the Passion Of Max fleets from memory though, let the proletariat he arrogantly betrays daily in his day job as an elected representative of the people, nation and the collective interest not be lost as to the real upshot. But lost it will be if left up to the puerile panty sniffers in the main stream political media. For instance those deer hunting manly men over at Politico have two stories on their front page (here and here) on the Max Tax plan to boost his squeeze with an elite appointment to a coveted US Attorney position and, yet, not one mention of the hypocrisy exhibited by the revelation as framed against the Baucus constant braying for fiscal responsibility and reticence to provide a health care bill covering women equally and fairly. Go figure.

As an extra Late Night bonus, check out this story of the evil terrorist Christmas elf:

A man dressed as an elf is jailed after police in Georgia say he told a mall Santa that he was carrying dynamite.

Police say Southlake Mall in suburban Atlanta was evacuated but no explosives were found.

Police say Caldwell got in line Wednesday evening to have his picture taken with Santa Claus.

Police say when Caldwell reached the front of the line, he told Santa he had dynamite in his bag. Santa called mall security and Caldwell was arrested.

Caldwell faces several charges, including having hoax devices and making terrorist threats.


85 replies
    • EvilDrPuma says:

      You’d think if she’s so damned qualified, she could find someone to nominate her who doesn’t have a conflict of interests.

  1. ratfood says:

    Actually, what the elf said was, “I got dynamite in my trousers.” Apparently his statement got a tad misconstrued.

    Let those who have never been tempted to hit on Santa throw the first stone…

  2. earlofhuntingdon says:

    Welcome back from the front page and a marvelous book review.

    As EW said in her main post, Baucus’ corruptly having health care “reform” bill written by a “staffer” lobbyist is what’s horrific, not that he’s as monogamous as David Vitter or Mark Sanford. That he bills the public for his mistress’, um, services is something that a competent legislature would inquire into. Hell, in England, an inquiry into questionable housing and other reimbursements for members has tied up Parliament and the front news pages for months. American “news” outlets seem more interested in whether the club that broke Tiger’s back window was a brassie or a mashie niblick, not that their airhead news readers would know the difference.

  3. AZ Matt says:

    I heard that UA beat USC this afternoon. My local arizona board of regents member informs me that the UA football coach will not likely get a bonus for this feat.

    As for Baucus, he is an old man so leave him alone!!! He’s gotta get out of life what few pleasures that are still available to him.

  4. montag2 says:

    Sounds as if someone didn’t understand the humor of “Bad Santa.”

    But, no doubt, the “war on Christmas” psychopaths will begin to embroider a secret Muslim sleeper cell plot around this simple mental aberration by someone who’s likely a SAD victim who’s been overcome by a screening of Glenn Beck’s “The Christmas Sweater.”

    Thus ends an attempt to tie together as much Christmas craziness as possible. :)

  5. marymccurnin says:

    I don’t care how cold it gets as long as it isn’t hot. I hate the summers here. I could live in constant winter cept for the lack of full spectrum light or as Ron calls it, sunlight.

  6. montag2 says:

    … entertaining Capt. Jerry Kennedy of the Denver Colorado police force, and Ron Pietrafeso of Colorado’s Strike Force Against Crime.

    Never thought of Elvis as a law `n order kind of guy….

    • qweryous says:

      See this recently declassified ‘secret agent’ info:

      From Mental Floss: ‘Elvis Presley Undercover drug agent’ LINK:

      “Concerned about increased drug use in America, he petitioned Nixon in a handwritten letter proposing he be named a “Federal Agent at Large.” Elvis wrote, “I have done an in-depth study of drug abuse and Communist brainwashing techniques and I am right in the middle of the whole thing, where I can and will do the most good.”
      (complete with picture of Elvis with Nixon and discussion of the guns Elvis was allowed to carry into the White House)

      No further comment needed.

      No further comment needed

      • qweryous says:

        I forgot the well documented facts about this meeting: that Elvis arrived at the White House without an appointment, was allowed to carry TWO guns into the White House , and to present one to President Nixon. FBI later authorized a 50 state carry permit for Elvis.

  7. swag says:

    Nothing quite like the dumbass look some people get on their faces when they find out you’re from Montana and have to ask, “did you grow dental floss?” That question certainly stops conversation. Forever.

    What I have been wondering about for a while is why Conrad Burns is not in jail and why Bill Mercer is still US Attorney for Montana.

  8. rusty houndog says:

    Thanks for the Frank Zappa video; it led to the CNN CrossFire video of Zappa scorching John Lofton on censorship and emerging theocratic fascism. Zappa was beautiful. Baucus is a dental floss tycoon. We need folk with the acuity of Frank Zappa, a genuine conservative.

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