Fat Trash

Hi-de-ho folks, are you feeling as large and as inflated as I am? Jeebus. Santa sent me a box of edible goodies from Zingermans and then my wife started cooking. I believe I need just one more wafer thin mint…..

The NFL schedule is well under way for week 15. The Steelers already crushed the Panthers last Thursday night, and the hapless Cardinals won a squeaker over the feckless Cowboys last night. It was a pathetic, yet curiously fun game to watch. The best quarterback in the game was a rookie from Fordham. Scary.

The game of the day today is likely the Teh Jets at Da Bears. The Jets QB is nursing a sore shoulder; Rex Ryan would be far more interested if it was Sanchize’s foot instead. But Sanchez will start, and Ryan better focus on Brian Urlacher and the Bears defensive line, lest he suffer the agony of defeet. Jay Cutler is not exactly lighting the stat board up like Kurt Warner, but he has played a lot better and more consistently since being shepherded by Mike Martz. This game is really a tossup, maybe slight edge to the homeboys.

The “other” New York team, the Gents, are also in a huge game, which just so happens to be on the Frozen Tundra in the land of cheese. Aaron Rodgers is back for the Pack and should be fine, although the Giants have been rough on opposing quarterbacks this year. Both teams suffered crushing losses last week, the Pack to Brady and the Pats in a surprisingly close game without Rodgers, and the Giants, of course, in the soul crushing last second loss to Mike Vick, DeSean Jackson and the Iggles. Another pickem, with a slight edge to the home team.

I can’t decide which of the other games are the third best story today, so it is a tie between Vikes at Eagles and Peyton and the Colts visiting the Black Hole in Oakland. The latest from Adam Shefter is that the Eagles/Vikes game is postponed until Tuesday because of the wild winter storm invading Philly and the more tha half foot of snow expected during the game. More time for the Geezer to get ready! Now Favre versus Vick – that would be some kind of fun. The Colts really need a win against the Rayduhs, but it will be a lot harder than they want. I look for Manning to insure enough points to pull it out, but am very tempted to take the Silver and Black for the upset.

The Saints in Hot’Lanta Monday night should be a great game, but neither team’s playoff hopes ride on it. The Saints are coming on and Matty Ice and the Falcons never lose at home. The rest of the games are okay, but not great. Bucs should easily dispatch the SeaSquawks and the Bolts will kill the Bengals, who have just quit. Houston at Denver is only even worth a mention because it figures Gary Kubiak will be coaching one of these teams next year; which one is a good question. Sexy Rexy Grossman and the Deadskins should lose to the Jags and the Chefs should be able to cook the suddenly lost at sea Titans (unless Kerry Collins goes off, which he can still do). Ravens over Brownies and Bieber Brady and Pats over the Toronto Bills. That leaves the battle of the NFC West bulge, the 5-9 49ers at the 6-8 Rams. Obviously, with records like that, this game will likely decide the winner of the division crown and a playoff home game.

UPDATE – Ooops! Forgot the Kitties at the Fish. Cats eat Fish, then smack their lips.

26 replies
  1. emptywheel says:

    I know I’ll regret this, but my money’s on the Rayduhs.

    Though I’m none too sure that the Pats will beat Toronto. The Bills have been playing tough. Kind of odd that the one place in the NE won’t be a factor is in Buffalo.

  2. Neil says:

    the Eagles/Vikes game is postponed until Tuesday because of the wild winter storm invading Philly and the more tha half foot of snow expected during the game.


  3. scribe says:

    From another site, one devoted to Real Football:

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the league
    Not a player supported the lead red-haired dweeb.
    He wanted the players in stockings and dresses,
    and so set about making millions of messes.

    It began with suspensions for the heroic two.
    One would be jettisoned, out of the blue.
    The other would sit for four of the games.
    The team kept winning, the commish took the blame.

    He then escalated his devious scheme.
    “Dangerous hits” would soon be the meme.
    But James wouldn’t toe the new company line.
    He laughed in the face of each flag and each fine.

    The players were suddenly wholly confused;
    An 18 game schedule? Am I being used?
    And fines, and suspensions for just playing ball?
    $75 thousand, no flag and no call?

    A bundle of hits against their own QB,
    reminded the Steelers how Roger could be.
    Though they couldn’t touch a team’s quarterback,
    Ben Roethlisberger was being attacked.

    With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
    Roger changed focus to other plays instead.
    Every infraction imagined or real…
    they best mix it up, his intentions concealed.

    When out of the ‘Burgh there arose such a clatter.
    “Goodell’s out to get us, so what does it matter?”
    Away to the game and a new rivalry –
    With Parry, Corrente and Pete Morelli.

    When what to my black and gold eyes should appear,
    but excellence from Pittsburgh throughout the whole year.
    With Mike Tomlin guiding the 11 and 4 sleigh,
    Roger Goodell isn’t getting his way.

    They’re now in the playoffs, they play to the whistle.
    They hit like a truck and attack like a missile.
    A band of pariahs to Roger the Clown,
    He’s hoping in Dallas, they won’t be in town.

    Should it come to fruition – his very bad dream,
    Ben and confetti and James, the whole scene.
    The trophy awarded to a team that still hits,
    won’t draw in the housewives, he’ll have none of it.

    The playoffs are coming, they’re coming real soon.
    Will Goodell, Esquire, shoot for the moon?
    It just doesn’t matter, I’ve seen every game.
    They’ll just keep on winning, drive Roger insane.

    They know this is more than a Pittsburgher thing.
    It’s more than another Lombardi and Ring.
    Their mission: to save the soul of football
    from Roger the Clown, Merry Christmas to all!

    And that whole “postpone the Philly game b/c of a little snow” – what a bunch of wusses. Bad weather is part of football. But I’d love to see the Geezer v. Vick in the snow, whether it’s tonight or Tuesday. Now, what am I going to watch tonight if not football?

        • scribe says:

          Sorry for not responding earlier but I was watching the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS and dozed off. Agony of De-feet, huh?

          I guess January and February at Casa Ryan stands to look like a lot of hanging around the house in bedroom slippers and bathrobes, and not so much about tickets to Dallas or anywhere else….

          I see the Kitties win again. Go Bubbles!

  4. john in sacramento says:


    … But I’d love to see the Geezer v. Vick in the snow, whether it’s tonight or Tuesday. …

    Gawd, I hope not

    Bryant McKinnie is doing everything he can to kill Favre by blowing his blocking assignments

    He’s responsible for Favre getting destroyed in the Cards, Panthers and Saints games last year. And this year he’s responsible for the two fractures in Favre’s ankle in the 1st Packer game, the hit that ended the streak in the Bill’s game, and last week’s concussion against Bears

    The only way I let Favre even play is if Jim Kleinsasser starts in the backfield, and plays every single offensive down, with his only assignment being protecting Favre from the guy that McKinnie’s going to wiff on

  5. Mary says:

    Not 100% sure about the Manning slide, but what the heck, he didn’t get drug down from in back and the Foalies stay alive in the AFC South.

  6. orionATL says:

    what happened, bmaz?

    atlanta gets a mention after 12-2; must a been a slow-news day.

    don’t know how far these guys will go this year, but

    the falcons have the best management team in the biz with coach smith and gm dimitroff.

    (o.k., ew, pats haven’t been so bad themselves; beaks did pinch dimitroff from tundra-land).

    this management team recruits smart guys and good athletes (who doesn’t if they can)

    who are team players first – no prima donnas here, none.

    ever now and again, they play like they (coaches included) just stepped off the jr. high bus.

    still, 12-2 ain’t bad for a bunch of kids and coaches in their third year together.

  7. scribe says:

    Interestingly enough, NBC reported earlier that Jeffrey Lurie, Iggles owner, got an unexpected phone call from Obama the other day in which he told Lurie how passionately he was following the redemptive story of Vick and how much it meant in a country where it’s so difficult for ex-cons to get any job.

    Not for nothing, this resembles the whole recasting of “patriot” (e.g., so-called PATRIOT Act) in the months leading up to the tuck rule game and the beginning of the Belicheat era in the no fun league. So, look for the refs to take their cue and make it so the Iggles can’t miss on their way to Dallas for the Supe, and for Roger the Clown to be handing the Lombardi to Vick come Feb.

    Of course, if Obama was so passionate about rehabilitation of folks convicted of anything, he could push a federal expungement law (which would enable people who’d served their sentences to apply to the court to have them expunged (wiped out), without the need for going through the pardon process, and for coordinate state laws. And he could pardon more than 9 folks who’d done minor things decades ago. Since he isn’t, the fair conclusion is that he’s putting a thumb on the scales of who wins in the no fun league.

    • Mary says:

      So, he’s passionate about a guy who used his big bucks and privilege to be a dog torturer and killer.

      Why am I not surprised.

      Once it means there’s nothing to watch that doesn’t have the Eagles playing, I’m done with the season. Way easier to just not watch football than to watch Vick.

      Way WAY easier to take the dogs out for a run in the snow.

      I look, but redemption’s not what I see.

  8. orionATL says:



    i haven’t heard that word before but it seems like a sensible and charitable thing for society to agree upon.

    as things stand now, one serves one’s punishment, one’s sentence,

    and then her (american) society continues to punish her thru ” convicted felon” laws, e.g., can’t vote – ever again.

    years ago i read about japanese criminal justice in which the convicted

    -apologizes for his crime

    -serves his time, which is not designed to consume decades of his life,

    at which point he and society consider his debt paid and hence cancelled.

    very humane, it seemed to me.

    but of course in the mean spirited america we live in,

    this approach would not be considered humane, but rather

    “soft on crime”.

    expungement seems not only a fair action by society,

    but an action absolutely necessary for society to take

    in order to sustain a rule and habit for meteing fairness to all its citizens.

  9. BoxTurtle says:

    Vick leaves me torn. As a pet owner (3 dogs, 3 cats currently), I’d like nothing better than to see Vick spend the rest of his life under a bridge eating fishheads.

    However, he has paid his debt to society. His probability of being involved in dogfighting again is very close to zero, not likely to reoffend. Under the current law and common moral guidelines, he should get a chance at redemption.

    Boxturtle (Perhaps Obama feels that if Vick can be redeemed, someday there will be hope for him)

    • Mary says:

      You know, what I noticed is that Obama is right there, johnny on the spot, to wax expansive on redemption when it involves a high profile players whose team is owning the headlines.

      What I never saw or heard from Obama were his calls to the people who had to go in and clean up Vick’s mess. The calls to the people who walked around the dead bodies, the maimed ones, deciding who to help, who to put down – the people who had to take the nightmares home with them. He’s not big on that – always a Petraeus handshake, never a Taguba one. Never a word for those who trail around cleaning up the messes that Vick leaves behind while he’s pulling a poor bitch’s teeth, strangling a disappointment and tossing a pet bait dog into the ring. But always a moment to spare for a league leader.

      He’s so much like Bush it isn’t even funny anymore. He doesn’t have any time to spare for the people who have to clean up his messes in Pakistan and Afghanistan and OLCistan – or who have to stand there with the bodies of the messes that can’t be cleaned up and at least try to give their pain and ultimate loss a little reverence.

      I’ve never seen a look on Vick or Obama’s face that indicates they really have any feelings over what they have done, other than a feeling that people need to “get over” criticizing them and “get with” the program on praising them. Doesn’t give me warm, fuzzy redemption feelings.

  10. JohnLopresti says:

    SF has put coach on market. Any team want defense linebackers coach next season?, more his specialty than team coach. I think the NFL*s new move toward a stop hitting rule which altered Singletary*s longtime view of how ground football should take place, changed the pace of the game for the future, and brought into question his fundamentals.
    Linguistic footnote of the day. Medved*, slavic word for Bear; as in Medvedev, member of bears* clan.

  11. Jim White says:

    Rut roh. The Air Force falcon has flown the coop and is somewhere on the loose in Shreveport. ESPN2 joking about Special Forces being brought in to look for it. You’d think the critter would choose to escape when in a better location…

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