Austin City Limits Trash Talk

The eyes of Texas, and the world, are on Austin this weekend. No, it is not for the big resurgence of Mack Brown and whether he and the Whorens can keep it up against those high flying Cowboys from Oklahoma State. No, it is because it is United States Grand Prix week!

In the inaugural run last year at the Circuit of the Americas, I was pretty cautious about the sufficiency of both the course, and facility as a whole. I was clearly wrong, as the race, and reviews from all I know in the traveling circus that is F1 were spectacular. And, really, what is not to love about the music, food and scene in Austin itself? A one of a kind, unique American gem. So, the circus returns for year two. It is the penultimate race is a disappointingly boring season (at least in the second half of the year).

Here is a shocker, Vettel, Webber and the Red Bulls were fast at practice, with Rosberg, Hamilton and Lotus’s Heikki Kovalainen trailing. One very huge note is that Kimi Raikkonen is absent, having undergone surgery in France on a long standing back problem (undoubtedly a problem that was speeded up by Kimi’s salary dispute with the team he is leaving in the off season. to return to Ferrari). Qualifying today should be interesting. Alonso, Massa and the Ferraris are back in mid pack if practice is any indication.

So, let’s get to some football. The Mack Brown line above was not a total crack, OSU and Texas will square off today, also in Austin. So, it really is quite a sports weekend for Austin, wish I was there. Hard not to think the Cowboys will roll the Whorens and put Brown back in the lurch, but I am going to predict an upset. Besides, how can you not root for Brown to hang on and keep the Longhorns mediocre? Other really interesting game is the Stanford Tree at the home of Tommy Trojan.USC has been MUCH improved since Lane Kiffen was bagged. Tempted to pick another upset here, but will stick with the Tree. Dawgs of Georgia at Auburn also could be interesting. Hard to believe Auburn is really as good as their record; Georgia will give a good test. In the late game, Oregon State visits the Sun Devils at Frank Kush Field. Devils should – should – get by this, which would set up a HUGE game next weekend with UCLA.

As to the Pro Joes, the biggest buzz is the Chefs in Denver for some Mile High cooking. Sorry men in tall white toques, unlike your previous vanquished opponents, the Donks have a winning record and a real offense. hard to see how KC can score enough to beat Peyton and his ankles. Pats at Carolina should be more interesting. Cam Newton and the Panthers finally seem to be jelling and getting some consistency, and Carolina’s defense is seriously tough nuts. Pats gonna get a third loss. Niners at Saints also notable. I rate it a pick-em, but if the Niners take another loss, they will be tied with the Cardinals (who ought to be able to take the Jags) and pretty hurting compared to Seattle. Surely Philly can get a home win, right? I know it has been a while, but Nick Foles is settling in and the Skins just seem feckless. Pack at Giants will depend entirely on whether or not GB can field a better QB than FB Jon Kuhn. Does not look good for the Cheese.

Off to the races we go, make some noise!

81 replies
  1. Bay State Librul says:

    Gator character?

    41 players on the circa 2008 Florida team were arrested.

    Does that set a NCAA record?

  2. emptywheel says:

    I’m confused bmaz: If playing only teams with losing records suggests the Chiefs’ unblemished record is fluff, then doesn’t the Donkos playing the same teams with losing records suggest their not-unblemished record is fluff too? Arent’t those teams in the same Division?

  3. Jim White says:

    @Bay State Librul: @bmaz: Hey! I resemble that remark. Note the date for that. The 2008 season would be in the middle of the Urban Meyer time at UF. He established a true thug culture and let his superstars get away with anything while they hid behind the clean boy image of Tebow. That had to play a huge role in Hernandez getting into gun-running and murder. I still remain convinced the dude has a substance abuse problem (painkillers for his known neck and head pain) and an incredibly weak character that leads to his famous meltdowns and leaves of absence. Count on a meltdown from him as soon as his Buckeyes have to face a real opponent in a bowl game.

    As for the current version of my Gators, I’m thinking we might see a bit of a surprise if Skyler Mornhinweg gets the start today over Tyler Murphy, who is injured. Just as Murphy was surprisingly good in his debut, my position is that Muschamp’s coaching crew is so fucked up right now that scrubs way down the depth chart play well until they spend extended time with the first string and facing the withering abuse Muschamp spews constantly. The entire team plays like a group of ten year olds who are only concentrating on avoiding the plays that make dad scream at them when they get home instead of just relaxing and playing the game with their huge amount of talent.

    Gator basketball may be pretty good this year if they can get everyone back onto the team. Lots of suspensions and injuries, but at full strength they will be formidable. Senior center Patric Young is off to a horrific start but finally started coming around toward the end of the loss at Wisconsin. The starter may eventually be Damontre Harris, who transferred from South Carolina. But he still keeps pissing off Donovan and is suspended to the point that he’s currently not even allowed to practice with the team. Transfer Dorian Finney-Smith from Virginia Tech was suspended and is now fully reinstated but is sick and might not play in today’s game. Point guard Scottie Wilbekin has been suspended, just as he was at the beginning of last season. He is back practicing with the team but has a bit more to do to convince Donovan to let him play. He has to be careful, true freshman Kasey Hill came in as an All-American and has been playing like one in the first two games.

  4. Peterr says:

    Sorry men in tall white toques, unlike your previous vanquished opponents, the Donks have a winning record and a real offense. hard to see how KC can score enough to beat Peyton and his ankles.

    Sorry, Donk Defense Attorney, but the evidence is not as conclusive as you portray it to be. I direct the jury to consider the quality of the opponents of the Donks thus far, and their records.

    Baltimore 4-5
    NYGiants 3-6
    Oakland 3-6
    Iggles 5-5
    Dallas 5-5
    Jacksonville 1-8
    Indy 7-3
    Washington 3-6
    San Diego 4-5

    The Donks may have a winning record, but the only one of their previous opponents that can say the same thing is the team that beat the Donks.

    I’m not saying the Chefs will win, but it’s not going to be a blowout by the Donks. The KC defense is not just legit, but seriously good. The key will be whether the Chefs offense will be able to generate points against the very bad Donk Defense.

  5. Phil Perspective says:

    @Peterr: I think Bmaz forgets something else. When was the last time Big Red get blown out of a big game? The 2006 game against the Peyton Mannings(aka Colts)? Yeah, he sometimes his teams choke in big games but they are rarely blown out in them.

  6. Peterr says:

    @bmaz: You mean “yet another team without a winning record”, don’t you?

    Turnovers are also a big clue here: Chefs take away 16 more than they have given away, while the Donks are -2. More tellingly, the Chefs know how to turn those mistakes into points.

  7. Bay State Librul says:

    “Pats gonna get a third loss”

    Teams met in Super Bowl 10 seasons ago with Patriots winning 32-29 on last-second field goal by K Adam Vinatieri.
    Panthers have won five straight.
    Panthers are first in league in time of possession.
    Carolina converting 46.2 percent of third-down opportunities, third best in NFL.
    Panthers FB Mike Tolbert has 30 touchdowns rushing since 2010, fifth most in league.
    Since 2008, Panthers have more yards rushing than any team in league.
    WR Steve Smith has 814 career receptions and needs two more to move past former teammate.
    Keyshawn Johnson, Henry Ellard and Shannon Sharpe into 25th in NFL history.
    QB Cam Newton is only player with at least 50 TDs passing and 25 TDs rushing in first three seasons.
    TE Greg Olsen has four TDs receiving in past five games vs. AFC opponents.
    DE Charles Johnson has 21 sacks and seven forced fumbles in last 22 games.
    FS Mike Mitchell is only NFL player with at least three interceptions, two sacks and two forced fumbles.
    Panthers’ defense has forced three-and-outs 14.4 percent of time, best in NFL.

    Having said that, the Panthers don’t have Tom Brady and his magic, and will lose 27-24.

  8. Peterr says:

    @bmaz: Let’s look at those common opponents . . .

    Jacksonville scored 19 on the Donks, but only two — a blocked punt that rolled out of the end zone — against the Chefs.

    Dallas scored 48 on the Donks, but only 16 on the Chefs.

    Philadelphia scored 20 on the Donks and 16 on the Chefs.

    NY Giants scored 23 on the Donks and 7 on the Chefs.

    Oakland scored 21 on the Donks and 7 on the Chefs.

    All told, the Donks gave up 131 points to these teams, while the Chefs gave up only 48 points.

    If these teams could drop that much on the Donks, what makes you think the Chefs won’t be able to do even more damage to them?

  9. Peterr says:

    The eyes of Texas, and the world, are on Austin this weekend. No, it is not for the big resurgence of Mack Brown and whether he and the Whorens can keep it up against those high flying Cowboys from Oklahoma State. No, it is because it is United States Grand Prix week!

    Lest you think bmaz is engaging in over-the-top F1 gushing, I direct your attention to the German magazine BILD (Picture). They went to one of the Austin Hooters restaurants, and surveyed several of their servers: “Who is the hottest driver in F1?” Their verdict, per BILD:

    The surprise: the hot waitresses gave four time world champion Sebastian Vettel (26) the cold shoulder. In the BILD survey, he got only three out of a possible 15 points – and he landed in last place!

    Verdict: Too good/nice, a bit boring! At the top was Ferrari star Fernando Alonso (9 points) ahead of Red Bull driver Mark Webber (8 pts) and the Mercedes drivers Nico Rosberg (5 pts) and Lewis Hamilton (4 pts).

    This being BILD, the article comes with photos. Oddly, there are only photos of the jury, not the F1 drivers. Or, you know, not so odd.

  10. bmaz says:

    Well, you don’t get to say this often: Congrats to the Rock Chalk Jaywalkers, who today won a real live football game.

  11. emptywheel says:

    Alright. I confess I turned on the game for the last 10 minutes. The uniforms were ugly. The game was ugly.

    But, Peterr, we can wallow in mediocrity.

  12. Peterr says:

    @emptywheel: I don’t have the Big Ten Network, so can’t see the game, but online it says that the game STILL is ugly: 9-9 going into overtime.

    How ugly has it been? ESPN tells me that Michigan converted their first third down of the day in this OT period.

  13. bmaz says:

    @Peterr: Oh, hey, I DO have the B1G Network it turns out!

    Who knew? And it ain’t easy to find on cox Cable either, I might add.

    Turned it on just in time for a Merlot TD and 2 point conversion in third overtime.

    Or crikey, huge sack. Ugly ending for the Fighting Journalists.

  14. emptywheel says:

    @Peterr: It was ugly.

    Just after they asserted they were sure there were more missed interceptions in this game than any before, the Weenies intercepted the Hail Mary NW needed to stay in it.

  15. Peterr says:

    @emptywheel: I went to Northwestern as they began their climb out of the depths of True Ugliness, when they set the then-record for consecutive losses. I’m rather familiar with losses that linger in the memory. I’ll get over this one too.

    Now where’s my scotch?

  16. bmaz says:

    @Peterr: Take solace my friend, did I tell you Kansas won?

    I mean, really, that just does not happen every day with a Charlie Weiss coached team you know.

  17. bmaz says:

    Holy fucking shit. This Baylor Texas Tech game is WILD. 20-7 and like 400 yards of total offense with still 3 minutes left in the first quarter.

  18. Peterr says:

    An epic battle is under way with the US Olympic Qualifying in Women’s Curling. Erika Brown is leading her team against Allison Pottinger’s team (the 2008 US skip), and it’s looking like a great competition. In the best 2 of 3 competition, Brown won the first battle yesterday, and now they’re fighting out the second match.

    What, you’re not into curling? You don’t have ice?

    This is not a problem. Behold, tennis ball curling. (And we’ve since moved into a new home with suitable flooring.)

  19. Peterr says:

    @bmaz: Pshaw. There’s not much left to be said about the FJs, and until the Chefs and Donks kick off, we’re pretty much at a standoff. As for the Jaywalks, I have no respect for them. The short explanation is this: Bill Self is the most appropriately surnamed coach in all of D-1 hoops.

  20. Bay State Librul says:

    Don’t rook me?
    I’m sticking pins in my Scott Boras voodoo doll.
    I want Ellsbury to return to Fenway, you can keep Drew, Scotty.

    Gotta love the name of his former law firm

    “When Boras quit his job as a lawyer in the pharmaceutical defense department of the law firm Rooks, Pitts & Poust in 1983 to become a full-time sports agent, the average player salary in Major League Baseball was $289,194. Adjusted for inflation, that figure works out to $671,641 in 2012. But the real average salary in 2012 was actually $3.44 million, in no small part because of the very impressive contracts that Boras has repeatedly been able to conjure for various players, sometimes seemingly out of thin air.

    In all, his company represents 175 players on the major and minor league level. Many of them are doing very, very well. A lot of them would credit Boras.” NY Times

  21. Bay State Librul says:

    Was the Red Sox World Serious victory a “ten-sigma event”?

    Yeah, that’s why Farrell shoulda been Manager of the Year.
    He got fucked.

  22. what constitution says:

    So I guess it really was the total dickishness factor of Lane Kiffin that was the real reason USC was spiraling toward hell. But did they have to tank Stanford’s hopes just to rub his nose in that confirmation? I guess, on balance, that is as good a reason as any other.

  23. scribe says:

    @Bay State Librul: All true, but don’t piss on Boras for being a good advocate for his clients. Remember, these are contracts we’re talking about. In other words, agreements freely entered into between two sophisticated parties advised by the finest representation money can buy.

    No one’s getting rolled here, who doesn’t want to get rolled. If the owners who signed those contracts didn’t want to enter into them, they didn’t have to.

    So no reason to complain.

  24. phred says:

    @Bay State Librul: Hey BSL, what’s the scoop on Ells? I’ve been working too much lately, haven’t been keeping up on current events… Man, would I hate to lose Ellsbury, he’s so much fun to watch : )

    So, ummm, anything else going on in the sports world today? It’s looking like I need to dust off my copy of Return of the King and hope for the best ; )

  25. bmaz says:

    @scribe: Pre race from Austin is on main NBC broadcast channel starting 1pm EST and the F1 Grand Prix from Austin starts at 2pm EST, also on NBC. as my only early game is Cards/Jags, I will be watching the race.

    So, there is another option for you!

  26. Jim White says:

    Hmmm. Wasn’t able to watch the Gators play in real time last night as I had to be elsewhere. They played much better. Now I’m torn on whether to watch next week, but it is just Georgia Southern.

    Like bmaz, I only get the Jags and Cards right now. More empty seats than filled ones at this game…

    Can’t believe my Jayhawks won. Please tell me that Weis and Muschamp aren’t both going to salvage their jobs. Both have to go.

    Wait. What? TD Jags? Strange day already.

  27. scribe says:

    Well, this trash is not turning out as bad as I thought it would. Fox has just gone away from the Iggles beating on the Skins (+1) and the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS are getting their butts kicked in Buffalo (+1). OTOH, my Stillers are down 7 and wearing those damned bumblebee uniforms that guarantee a loss (-1).

    Could be worse.

  28. quebecois says:

    It’s good to see a Grand-Prix with stands that are brimming with fans. Good show Austin. I fell asleep at lap 21 and woke up five laps from the end…

  29. phred says:

    @scribe: They are hideous ; ) I assume the reason the NFL subjects us to the awful retro stuff is to sell it to fans. Are there really people in the world that having a burning desire to own a bumble bee jersey? Really???

  30. bmaz says:

    @quebecois: The city of Austin we always knew would be a uniquely great venue. I was pretty sour on the track early on, but F1 and fans seem to love it. I still think they need to fill in the place with something, but it is still very young and on the right path.

    Do think racing footprint could be altered slightly to make for more overtaking and better racing, but it is far from the worst in that regard. Also, F1 HAS to even out the competitiveness of the marques. The second half of this season was even more boring than some of the Schumacher championship years. Even I have had a hard time getting excited over races for a while now. Vettel is very good, but the real difference is the equipment; there is NO way Vettel is that much better than Fernando, Kimi, and, yes, even Hamilton and Rosberg.

  31. Peterr says:

    Sounds like a wild day at Soldier Field, with the weather and the overtime, but at the end of the day, Da Bears are tied for first in the NFC North with Teh Kittehs.

    And the Cheese stands alone.

  32. scribe says:

    @phred: Occasionally you’ll see someone in one of them up in the stands. But they’re far outnumbered by people wearing just those 70s style black jerseys (block numbers) numbered “58”. The “58”s are probably more popular than those numbered “12” and “32”. And the bumblebee clowns are the object of “King Roger’s Tool” scorn.

    I can only hope they get sent to the same place as all the Steely McBeam mascot costumes. In former days, that would have been the inside of a blast furnace.

  33. scribe says:

    Actually, BMAz, Eli Manning lives in Hoboken in the Lipton Tea Building, right on the water. That way, he lives and works in NJ and does not have to pay NYS and NYC taxes.

  34. scribe says:

    I just finished baking a loaf of the infamous “no-knead bread”, which yields a crusty, chewy Italian-style bread and a wonderful aroma, and now the dog follows me everywhere with a hugely expectant, hopeful look and tail-wag.

  35. P J Evans says:

    When I had a roommate, I’d make bread and I nearly had to lock the stuff up for half an hour after it came out of the oven. Seems he had a thing for fresh, hot bread….

  36. Anonsters says:

    Wait, wait, wait.

    Are you telling me that there’s college football outside the SEC?

    All these teams you speak of, they’re, what, Division III?

    /Roll Tide

    [Edit: Go Big Blue, too, since I just saw your mention of it.]

  37. P J Evans says:

    He did – it was just that fresh bread has that effect on people.
    (You have to let it cool off enough so you can cut it. It smells so good!)

  38. Bay State Librul says:


    Did Boras really say “ninety percent of the game of the game is all money”?
    I get your point, talent pays, fans are dismayed.
    It is refreshing though, that the age of the “Home Team Discount” is not dead yet. Pedroia signed recently for an eight-year extension worth approximately $110 million that will keep Pedroia in Boston through his 38th birthday. Thank you ACES, Inc, rep for the Laser Show

    Maybe your Yanks will pick up Jacoby, like they snatched Damon.

  39. Bay State Librul says:


    He is asking $130M, I think he maybe too rich for Cherington’s blood.
    I’d like to see Boston make a competing offer…

  40. scribe says:

    @Bay State Librul: Maybe 90 percent of the game is all money for Boras. His game is money.

    The thing is, Boston/NE fans invest waaaaay too much in their team loyalty. I once had a family of Boston/NE fans next door. Their three sons, all under 10 at the time, were named Jacoby, Adam, and Brady. I’m just hoping they haven’t since had another and named him “Bergeron” or “Tukka”.

  41. bmaz says:

    @Peterr: Remember, Aaron Rodgers looks to be back by the Thanksgiving matchup with the Kittehs. And the final game is against the Bears. Cheese not dead yet.

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