Wealthy Elites and Blowjobs

I haven’t seen this part of the Shadow Broker files get mentioned. The files themselves are addressed to, “!!! Attention government sponsors of cyber warfare and those who profit from it !!!!” with a description of the auction for further files (which most people believe to be fake).

But at the end of the Pastebin file from them, they include this rant.

We have final message for “Wealthy Elites”. We know what is wealthy but what is Elites? Elites is making laws protect self and friends, lie and fuck other peoples. Elites is breaking laws, regular peoples go to jail, life ruin, family ruin, but not Elites. Elites is breaking laws, many peoples know Elites guilty, Elites call top friends at law enforcement and government agencies, offer bribes, make promise future handjobs, (but no blowjobs). Elites top friends announce, no law broken, no crime commit. Reporters (not call journalist) make living say write only nice things about Elites, convince dumb cattle, is just politics, everything is awesome, check out our ads and our prostitutes. Then Elites runs for president. Why run for president when already control country like dictatorship? What this have do with fun Cyber Weapons Auction? We want make sure Wealthy Elite recognizes the danger cyber weapons, this message, our auction, poses to their wealth and control. Let us spell out for Elites. Your wealth and control depends on electronic data. You see what “Equation Group” can do. You see what cryptolockers and stuxnet can do. You see free files we give for free. You see attacks on banks and SWIFT in news. Maybe there is Equation Group version of cryptolocker+stuxnet for banks and financial systems? If Equation Group lose control of cyber weapons, who else lose or find cyber weapons? If electronic data go bye bye where leave Wealthy Elites? Maybe with dumb cattle? “Do you feel in charge?” Wealthy Elites, you send bitcoins, you bid in auction, maybe big advantage for you?

Ostenisbly, the rant serves to warn that if such tools get out, people might target banks and financial systems, specifically mentioning the hacks on SWIFT (not to mention suggesting that if the other claimed files get out someone might target finance).

Along the way it includes a reference to elites having their top friends announcing “no law broken, no crime commit.” And right before it, this: “make promise future handjobs, (but no blowjobs).”

Maybe I’m acutely sensitive to mentions of blowjobs, especially those received by Bill Clinton, for reasons that are obvious to most of you. But the reference to handjobs but no blowjobs in the immediate proximity of getting off of a crime followed closely by a reference to running for President seems like an oblique reference to the Clintons.

If so, it would place this leak more closely in line with the structure of the other leaks targeting Hillary.

That’s in no way dispositive, but the blowjobs references does merit mentioning.

Marcy has been blogging full time since 2007. She’s known for her live-blogging of the Scooter Libby trial, her discovery of the number of times Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was waterboarded, and generally for her weedy analysis of document dumps.

Marcy Wheeler is an independent journalist writing about national security and civil liberties. She writes as emptywheel at her eponymous blog, publishes at outlets including the Guardian, Salon, and the Progressive, and appears frequently on television and radio. She is the author of Anatomy of Deceit, a primer on the CIA leak investigation, and liveblogged the Scooter Libby trial.

Marcy has a PhD from the University of Michigan, where she researched the “feuilleton,” a short conversational newspaper form that has proven important in times of heightened censorship. Before and after her time in academics, Marcy provided documentation consulting for corporations in the auto, tech, and energy industries. She lives with her spouse and dog in Grand Rapids, MI.

20 replies
  1. Rayne says:

    How the hell am I supposed to follow this, girlfriend? I’m going to post-date my Friday piece because clearly, blowjobs rise to the top here at emptywheel.

  2. scribe says:

    Don’t forget the “no crimes here” business, i.e., “Elites top friends announce, no law broken, no crime commit”, is a pretty direct shot at Comey and Clinton.
    .
    Where the hell have my Olympics gone? I’m watching a show about working at Walmart? WTF?
    .
    Funny, the other day the SZ had a lead story about NBC’s coverage, headlined “NBC inszeniert sein eigenes Olympia” http://www.sueddeutsche.de/sport/medienkritik-zu-olympia-us-fernsehen-inszeniert-sein-eigenes-olympia-1.3122420 “Inszenieren” means, roughly, “produce”, in the sense of produce a movie. So, the headline was “NBC produces their own ‘Olympia’.” A nice, backhanded comparison to another unique ‘Olympia’, the one “inszeniert” by Leni Reifenstahl. Which, in the end analysis, seems an accurate take on the slime oozing out of my TV set.
    .
    With no mention of blowjobs.

  3. richard hoefer says:

    Of all days for me to return to read Marcy’s latest piece, it’s the day she reposts her proudest moment and i get to see that segment again. I thought at first “oh my God she’s got that video permanently pinned to the top of her blog”…only to then see this is another/new blowjob story.

      • Bay State Librul says:

        While we are “Going back in time”
        —–
        Matt Bissonnette, a former member of Navy SEAL Team 6 who wrote an account of the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, agreed on Friday to forfeit $6.8 million in book royalties and speaking fees and apologized for failing to clear his disclosures with the Pentagon, according to federal court documents.
        —-
        Mr. Bissonnette also recently forfeited $180,000 in fees for consulting work that he did for military contractors while he was still on the SEAL team, his lawyer, Robert D. Luskin, said in an interview

    • Bitter Angry Drunk says:

      It’s just as well. If EW hadn’t said “blow job” on teevee she’d probably be another MSNBC sellout by now. And that video should totally be pinned to the top of this blog…

  4. scribe says:

    On my version of the post, I get a blank screen that says “502 Bad Gateway”.

    After “BADDECISION”, “SECONDDATE” and [we’re still waiting for] “WALKOFSHAME”, BAD GATEWAY sounds like a computer whose cow-pattern box didn’t protect it from the sorting line gorillas down at UPS.
    .
    Re Bissonnette: another nice piece of work by Gold Bars Luskin.

    • Peterr says:

      It was there for me when I posted my comment above, but my guess is that MSNBC got wind of it and forced YouTube to take it down over copyright concerns.

  5. Denis says:

    To me the bj comment was objectionable for its lack of precision and clarity. Technically, Willie was not investigated “for a blowjob.” Willie was investigated for lying about a blowjob Willie received in what is now properly referred to as the Oral Office — where “Willie” can be taken in one or both of two ways.
    .
    I guess the fact that MSNBC didn’t have you on delay in anticipation of bleeps that might have been required could be taken as a compliment. Bet you’ll be on delay next time!

      • Denis says:

        From a producer’s POV, their loss would be the ad revenue that went to FOX News b/c families switched from MSNBC to avoid that awkward moment during the evening news when your 11 year old asks: “Hey, Mom, what’s a blowjob?”
        .
        With a million experts reaching for the mic to choose from, a producer would be incompetent to risk a repeat.

      • emptywheel says:

        Actually not. I was on twice more after that:

        1) The time I (correctly) debunked the claims ObamaCare boosters were making about the Cadillac Tax in front of GM’s exhibit at the auto show (that is, in front of a shiny new Cadillac).

        2) The time I argued with Eliot Spitzer about whether we should know Elana Kagan’s beliefs before confirming her to a lifetime seat on SCOTS, in which I very nearly called Spitzer Client 9 because I froze up and couldn’t figure out what to call him. (I did end up calling him “Governor”)

        • bmaz says:

          Actually know elena Kagan’s beliefs? When she had spent her entire life intentionally not having any so she might make it to SCOTUS? That was very unserious of you!

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