Trash Talk – Mrs. O’Leary’s Bovine Edition

Well, I tell ya, the natives are restless out there. Randiego has been mercilessly hammering on the Patriots lately. He has been pounding on me daily to say bad things, very bad things, about the Pats. Even – gasp – that they are washed up and wouldn’t be any better even with Tom Brady. Lost their mojo when Ashanti Samuel walked out the door. Bad things. I have tried to shield Marcy from it cause, you know, she is so delicate and frail on this gridiron stuff. Now, the good Professor Foland has joined in the fray. Something about Juice Williams, 431 yards and 45 points by the Fighting Illini. In the Big House. Oh my. Oh, and just so the record is clear, yes I know my Sun Devils suck too. What is a poor boy to do?

But, before we get to the NFL, let’s take a quick look at

MLB Playoff Baseball – Ruh roh. Just wait until next year. Yep, it is that time in the Windy City. At least on the North Side anyway. Coming soon to the South Side Sox. Talking about some mojo, that damn cow of Mrs. O’Leary’s was one powerful critter eh? Brutal. Can’t blame Bartman this time. Halfway through the season the Dodgers had nuthin; but along came Manny being Manny, and now they are all manned up. Derek Lowe knows how to pitch big games; looks like the boys in Blue are in the NL catbird seat.

In the junior circuit, with that confounded designated hitter thing, it is looking very much like a Sawx-Rays (sans Devil) finale. What the hell happened to the Halos? And Beckett is pitching game three? Say good night Gracie. Oh, one more thing. Where is the Team That Dumped Torre? Oh, that’s right, they are at home. Or Madonna’s crib. But Joe Torre, he has already won another playoff series. Hank the Skank Steinbrenner ain’t real bright.

National Favre League – Not much to talk about with the Bretts on their bye week. Pats looking for an upset over the Niners; looking for friendlier ground than Miami. Those fish are tough you know. Maybe randiego will let us know how the Frightning Bolts stack up, because the Bolts are headed to Miami Sunday. The Redskins at Iggles and Buccos at Broncs appear to be the class games of the day. If Jason Campbell keeps on improving on his solid play, the Skins are going to be surprisingly good; their defense has been first rate for quite awhile now, with offense, you really got something there. Eagles are schizo; you just don’t know from week to week what is coming. I rate as a toss up, slight edge to the Skins. Cutler and Broncos should dispatch the Bucs at Invesco. The other game that is really interesting is the Titans at Ravens. Both have not good, but great, defenses. Both fairly conservative offenses. I like young Chris Johnson better than Magahee at this point though, and that should be the difference. Titans go to 5-0. Masaccio had them at 5-0 already last weekend, but he gets it for real this weekend.

Back to the NCAA for a minute. A special congratulations to the two Commodores fans, Blue
Texan and Masaccio. No, not the Lionel Ritchie Commodores. The Randy Vandys! That’s right, Vanderbilt is Five and Oh baby. Who’d a thunk it?

The F1 Circus is off until they hit the Mt. Fuji Circuit next weekend, and, yawn, those good old boys are still driving their lumbering sacks of American iron around in circles somewhere.

Crank up the BBQ and pop open a cold one. The games are on! Unless, of course, you are a Cubs fan; in that case you will have to wait until next year. Or fight in the streets.

  1. randiego says:

    ay yay yay! Now THATS some trash talkin!

    Man, the Cubbies can’t win a playoff game to save themselves! Maybe Sammy Sosa will come back!

    back in the a.m. with some frightning lightning wisdom.

    • emptywheel says:

      Had to let bmaz do it this week. I feel like I’ve been trash talking in politics for a month straight. I don’t think I’ll have the football buzz until we have President-elect Obama (let’s hope).

      Course, by then, those Foland-looking people wearing hideous orange clothes won’t be cutting me off while they look for parking anymore, and Matt Millen will be just a distance memory.

  2. bmaz says:

    Okay. I have to be honest. I might have made up a little bit of the randiego stuff in the post.

    Okay. Maybe I should be a little more honest. I made up most all of it.

    But you just know that he would say all those things.

  3. scribe says:

    For the Cubbies fans – you wanted Soriano, you got him. He looked exactly as lost as he did in the 2003 World Series, right before the Yankees dumped him. Flailing at anything, striking out on two pitches, lost in a fog in the field.

    But the Curse of Cubdom is, per the eminent historians at Elysian Fields Quarterly, still payback for the wrongs done Fred Merkel which led to the Cubs’ last series win, in 2008. The baseball gods were busy strewing pebbles on the Wrigley infield the other night, as is their way.

    As to Torre and Hank Steinbrenner. The fact of the matter is the relationship between Torre, the Yankee front office and the team was like an old marriage between Britons that had gone stale. Everyone needed someone new, and everyone respected everyone else and got divorced quite politely, thank you. While Torre moved on to LA and some exciting new squeeze, I don’t think you will find a Yankee fan who isn’t happy for him. As to the Yankees, their fans are taking this like it was ’97 and Mo coughing up a homer at Cleveland – inspiration and a hot coal of angry, determined desire in their guts. The problem, of course, is that A-Dog is playing third for the foreseeable future and, as a winner, he is only marginally better than Soriano. In other words, he’s not a winner. Never has been. He’ll rack up great stats, but he’s the guy who hits a leadoff homer in the 7th of a 5-1 game (making it either 6-1 or 5-2), as opposed to the clutch guy who singles in two to break a 4-4 tie in the 8th. A-Dog comes up in the clutch spot – he flails like Soriano and GIDP. But, A-Dog was not Hank’s project. He was George’s.

    Manny, of course, had the best line of the night. Asked if he had any words for the Boston fans he said ”No. I’m in LA now.”

  4. nomolos says:

    MLB Playoff Baseball

    Much more fun watching and/or playing tiddlywinks than watching fat millionaires scratching their balls for three hours.

    This afternoon we can watch the mighty Pats whippin’ up on the miners while the flip flopping cry baby in NY gets his week off. (To change his diapers?)

    Of course real football
    is in the cards today… on “latin” television.

    • radiofreewill says:

      Professor – Those Illini are looking good, and well-coached, too! Get past Minnesota this coming weekend and it should be clear sailing until Ohio State!

      “The Illini set a school record for points against Michigan, surpassing the 39 points Red Grange helped them score in 1924 as Memorial Stadium was dedicated, and they scored the most any team has at the Big House since Florida State had 51 in 1991.”

      Great Win, but remember, it’s not supposed to be hard to beat a team that wears their jocks on their helmets.

      Did I mention I’m a legacy Skins fan? I’m really liking the fire in Campbell this year!

      But, like EW, I find myself pushing nearly everything else out of the way to Concentrate on Winning this Election – I really believe Obama and Biden when they say this is the most important Election in our Lifetime.

  5. emptywheel says:


    After the Bronks got schooled by one of the 4 JV teams in the league, you so sure they can take on Griese, who has done particularly well against all the teams that cut him this year?

  6. 4jkb4ia says:

    Torre was at least a little aggravated that they offered him a one-year deal full of incentives after everything he had done, or played so for the media. Also Hank Steinbrenner wanting to put his mark on the team may have had something to do with it.
    Although the world as we know it is not prepared to end with the Cubs winning the World Series, I am pleased for Joe Torre. He got lucky with Manny, but the testimony of many players proved that his temperament was an important ingredient in this playoff run.

    • randiego says:

      How cool was that Vandy win? We had it here on the West Coast as the ESPN game last night. Revenge of the Geeks!

  7. Drumman says:

    Hey bmaz don,t make me laugh so hard it hurts HA HA. if anybody wonders what I mean I have had a double lung transplant two weeks ago

  8. randiego says:

    The Lightning Bolts head to Miami today. Last time they played there was in Drew Brees rookie season – I went to the game wearing a Charger Jersey. BIG MISTAKE. I almost got my ass kicked, and the Dolphins were winning big! What a tough crowd! I remember the only TD that day was a pass by LT.

    The Chargers do not historically travel well to the east coast. The Fish seem to have a little swagger after the Beat-Down they gave Marcy’s Pats. But, the team has been getting their starters back game by game. DT Jamal Williams is finally healthy which means a lot to their QB pressure. Starting Pro-Bowl OL’s McNeill and Hardwick have returned from injuries the last two games and are healthy, and this week we get back our leading tackler from last year, LB Stephen Cooper. (drug suspension)

    Add to that, Mr. LDT is getting healthy from his toe injury. He looked better last week, and Darren Sproles has been pretty damn good. (He also won AFC Special Teams Player of the Month).

    I think all this means that the Chargers are getting stronger as the season goes on. Look for a win today, these are the teams we have to beat. I’d rather have my team be slow starters and strong finishers than the other way around.

    This has been another version of the The Bolts Report.

    • bmaz says:

      I just hope Tomlinson doesn’t get his little feelings hurt and sulk on the sideline, hiding in a hoodie. Or is that only in the playoffs?

      • randiego says:

        Heh heh, good one.

        Maybe he’ll wear his hoodie to his shoo-in first-ballot Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony.

        Having said that, I do think LT has allowed himself to be surrounded by less-than-stellar advisors, and some better media training would have schooled him in how important his sideline demeanor is when the cameras are on. Jenny had some experience dealing with the high-school buddy personal secretary in her last job at Sony. He also does some endorsements here that I think diminish him.

      • randiego says:

        The Chargers do not historically travel well to the east coast. The Fish seem to have a little swagger after the Beat-Down they gave Marcy’s Pats.

        Understatement of the day.

        Just one problem with that “getting stronger” argument.
        Shawne Merriman.
        Losing him is almost as bad as losing Brady.

        You may have something there. I know you can’t win in the NFL if you don’t rush the passer. Even a stiff like Pennington can beat you.

        Maybe the Chargers just aren’t as good as they think they are.

  9. bmaz says:

    Heh heh. ESPN just did a piece with Paul Begala giving advice to Washington. Redskins that is. In nutshell, “Run to the left with Clinton”. No, no, not those Clintons silly. Clinton Portis!

  10. randiego says:

    Looking at other games…

    4-0 Bills head to Bmaz-land against a decent Cardinals team. Will they maintain their win streak? I say no.

    Rudderless Pats head to 49ers. 49ers suck. Pats win.

    The 1-2 Peytons head to Houston. Peytons win.

    AFC showdown tonight in Jax. I think the 3-1 Pitts will go down to 2-2 Jax.

    Another 4-0 AFC team, Tennessee heads to Baltimore. Man I want to Baltimore to win, but don’t think it’s going to happen. Tennessee goes to 5-0.

    Two buddies from work are doing the all-Wisconsin tour this weekend. They saw the close match between Ohio State and the badgers yesterday, then they’ll catch the Ex-Bretts today against the Falcons.

    Look for Ex-Bolt and leading NFL Rusher Michael Turner to run over the Ex-Bretts today.

    Lastly, today is the day we find out if the Skins are for real. Go Skins!

    • emptywheel says:

      Agree about the possible Cardinals surprise.

      I think the Texans might surprise the Peytons. (But then I always root against the Peytons).

      And, like you, I’ll take the Jax, though I love both these teams.

      There–now I’ve jinxed your pix.

  11. skdadl says:

    Lazy question, but since the experts are here: does anyone remember, off top of head, where in the Biden/Palin debate she dropped the line “Say it ain’t so, Joe”?

      • skdadl says:

        Oh, radiofreewill, thank you so much. I apologize for being lazy (but how are you on whitewashing fences?).

        In some ways, reading the transcript is worse, isn’t it? Those words, just thudding down one after another but shorn of the perkiness.

        That’s also the segment where she did the appalling double condescension to Biden’s wives. Who can read this without wanting to pull a pillow over head?

        PALIN: Say it ain’t so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You preferenced your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now doggone it, let’s look ahead and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future. You mentioned education and I’m glad you did. I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right?

  12. Ishmael says:

    Hank Steinbrenner is the walking, talking argument for estate taxes, a charter member of the Lucky Sperm Club, a man who was born on third base and then decides to steal second. So, as a longtime member of Red Sox Nation, who are on their way to their THIRD World Series championship in 5 years, I am thrilled to have him in the ownership suite at Wankee Stadium!

  13. MadDog says:

    So, as reigning Champion, will Canada again take the World’s Men Curling Championship in 2009? Will Scotland always be destined to be a bridesmaid and never the bride?

    And finally, I can’t tell ya’ll how disappointed we Minnesotans were when our Jenny Atkinson, a primary school teacher in Stillwater, MN, and 2007 Champion only came in 2nd place at the 2008 Womens Pro-Logrolling Championship.

    Whatever is the world coming to?

    • Ishmael says:

      When it comes to curling, just like bowling, darts, snooker, and slow-pitch softball, it’s not a sport if you can have a beer while waiting for your turn! /S

      • MadDog says:

        Mind you, I was thinking of waxing poetic about Womens Lacrosse and the ever-reigning Northwestern Champs, but given the fact that they’re armed with clubs, and that our hostess with the mostest might take umbrage, I figured discretion is the better part of valor.

    • bmaz says:

      Curlin?? Ain’t that like Palin? Log Rolling? I got yer log roll for ya right here.

      At least in the first half, looks like the Frightening Dolts instead of Bolts showed up in South Beach. Must be EW’s jinx!

      Memo to Ted Thompson from greater Cheeseheadia: You are a fucking idiot Ted. The Green Bay shareholders ought to send that assclown to Detroit. The Lions would be a fitting punishment for him.

      • MadDog says:

        Curlin?? Ain’t that like Palin?

        I assume you meant the sport of “Bailing” which has yet to hold a fix-free tournament, but I hear that the Repugs are practicing daily.

  14. Neil says:

    Randiego has been mercilessly hammering on the Patriots lately.

    SD 3 MIA 17 half

    Hold the trashtalk Randiego! You can earn the right next Sunday Night on national TV.

    • randiego says:

      Randiego has been mercilessly hammering on the Patriots lately.

      SD 3 MIA 17 half

      Hold the trashtalk Randiego! You can earn the right next Sunday Night on national TV.

      Hey! It wasn’t me!

      Okay. I have to be honest. I might have made up a little bit of the randiego stuff in the post.

      Okay. Maybe I should be a little more honest. I made up most all of it.

      But you just know that he would say all those things.

  15. Neil says:

    In the junior circuit, with that confounded designated hitter thing, it is looking very much like a Sawx-Rays (sans Devil) finale. What the hell happened to the Halos? And Beckett is pitching game three?

    Game three of a five game series up 2-0… at home. Yet, I wish it was Lester. If the Angels come out like a cornered animal, we’ll have Lester for game 4 or 5. Imagine, having Beckett and Lester. …not fair.

  16. Neil says:

    Pats looking for an upset over the Niners

    49ers + 3 at home. They give you two for a home game. The Niners are favored by the smallest of margins. That’s Las Vegas, look at the records:

    The 49ers are 2-2. Of the two wins, one was notable SF 33 @ SEA 30 week 2; the other was a home victory against the Lions. They lost to ARZ at home and NO on the road.

    I pick the Pats by 6 (if the defense shows up and plays with passion.)

    • Neil says:

      randiego, I’m sorry for your loss (sincere, snarkless). I’m looking forward to the game next week. It’s an awesome rivalry. I hope the Pats can hold up their end.

      • CTuttle says:

        Heh, I hate the Dolts considering I’m a Bronc Fanatic… Whom pulled out the squeaker in Mile High today! Finally the D in Denver showed up…! I do like the fact that my 21 pt underdog Warriors pulled out the improbable victory over their archrivals, #22 Fresno St. in Fresno…!

  17. JThomason says:

    And these crazed woods sprites came out of London town. Alas the New Barabians approach is getting a little too close for comfort by my taste. Can we just have another neo-pagan revival. There’s a taste of Renaissance high spirit there. What else is left? My only consolation is that the Wolverines are hurting bout as bad as the Vols.

    • emptywheel says:

      Not only that, neither of has the largest stadium.

      (I remember buying a plane ticket once, over the phone. The guy on the other end could hear the game here. He said, “we’ve got a bigger stadium, you know.”

      • bmaz says:

        Brutal. Big Blue even getting their ass kicked over the phone. Schembechler would have crawled through the phone line to the other end and strangled that dude. Now, just quietly into the telephonic night…..

        Nooners 14 – Puts 7. Bleak.

      • JThomason says:

        The plan in Knoxville is take the stadium up to 112K, but first, regrettably, our Lloyd Carr moment. Why should I care out here in Northern New Mexico? What with the Lobos rolling up on Wyoming 24-0 I should get with the new thinking and remember that the past is just a “good-bye.” The Cowboys are in Knoxville later this year. Maybe it will be one of the Volunteer victories that will hold up this year along side UAB and NIU.

        But you raise a good point, what is it all worth anyway if you don’t have the biggest stadium?

  18. masaccio says:

    Titans looked terrible in the first half, two Kerry Collins interceptions, defense giving up big yards on the run, committing totally stupid penalties and then getting in each other’s faces.

    One big drive at the end and on the first play after the 2 minute warning, Touchdown, 13-10. Interception, can’t run out the clock, but good defense saves the day.

  19. LabDancer says:

    I’m not a Cubs fan, but I do feel for the real ones. The Dodgers really sucked this season, and the Cubbies most assuredly did not.

    Here’s 3 things that might comfort them:

    [1] Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz & Gildenstern Are Dead – the first scene for sure. En route to Elsinore one of the numbskulls is flipping a coin, which to this point has come up one side 47 times or so, and the oddity leads them into a discussion about the central role of randonmess in human events.

    [2] I’ve mentioned this before somewhere on this site, but baseball’s Darwin [I see Nate Silver as baseball’s Stephen Jay Gould], Bill James arrived at the sure sign of there being no god in the mid-90’s. In a early dead tree-based iteration of what I gather now is a subscription-only blog, the long-time Royals fanatic and current Red Sox consultant found little, for all practical purposes NO, meaningful advantage in being the better, or since the introduction of intraleague playoffs, best, “team” [in the sense of producing a better in-season record, and deserving it], in terms of predicting which MLB franchise would go on to take any given season’s Whirled Serious hardware.

    [3] The Red Sox Nation suffered the Curse of the Bambino [and not at all in silence] for about 90 years [just from “about” you can tell I’m not a Bosox fan either], and since then it doesn’t seem to matter what the front office does

    [EG On the assumption there’s a certain utility in being able to hit the odd home run, dispatching Manny to the left coast and going with a broken down former phenom and the pre-maturely portly Greek God of walks does not strike the casual fan, even many self-appointed experts, as a sound strategy. But then I suppose the same can be said of the Obama campaign engaging Appalachia knee-jerk bigots in discussing racial stereotypes – & I for one sure like that, even if the consequences are far-term. Seems like that Obama fella is one smart cookie.]

    they’re constantly in contention and winning at least their share.

    What was it Ray kept hearing in Field of Dreams? “If you build it, they will come”.

    It’ll come, Cub fans. Just not necessarily in my lifetime, or yours.

    [4] Speaking of Field of Dreams, its author wrote another baseball classic, most unfairly yet to be acknowledged as such despite its being at least as qualified, that stands as a peon to the Cubbies of the first decade of the last century AND to Iowa, The Iowa Baseball Confederacy

    [though the author was- is- a Canuck…which suggests your geographic proximity to Canuckia hasn’t exactly done you any harm, even accounting for Conrad Black- on which front my thinking is that the eskimos may not say so but owe you a Thank You – though they’re so quiet up there maybe I just missed it]

    which means you’ve got TWO literary classics to the credit of your beloved Cubbies – and what do New Yorkers have that’s comparable? Richard Ben Cramer’s book that despite appearances, Dimaggio was as much of jerk as Al Stump proved Ty Cobb was a psychopath;

    [5] Jee-BUS Chitowners – just look at what you DO have:

    no worst than the second best opera house in Americaa, plus a world class symphony orchestra;

    top flight schools, particularly in economics, philosophy, law and engineering, none of which are so cowardly as to fail to consider options because Rush or Bill O’Reilly says they reek of “socialism”;

    a grand tradition and style in journalism and investigative reporting that’s so strong it’s even been able to survive having produced Novak the Undead – IOW you got Studs Terkel!;

    a lively political environment with a reliably predictable dominant flavor of corruption in government, plus pretty much the best guy ’round to help keep it below the level of the Black Plague [unlike Mississippi and Sweet Home, I hasten to add];

    you’re “The Second City”, but not at all a bad way: firstly you’re definitely not so egotistic as to call yourself “The City”; you’re no part of the Elite East; or Dumbed-Down Dixon, or Anti-Science Appalachia; or the Waco West [or indeed have much of anything in commmon with the Divine Ms M. Ivins’ beloved- & eternally asshat-backwards- Texas; or the Wierd West that thinks the Gipper and Ahnold are real;

    [6] St. Paul has relieved you of much of the pressure from the legacy of the 1968 DNC;


    [7] now you’re about to get the White House… and along with that credit for having made, not just one but TWO critical contributions to the ability of the nation to fulfil its promise.

    Don’t be so damned greedy!

    • Ishmael says:

      I have to defend the “Greek God of Walks”, “Euclis”, aka “Yooooookkkkk”, Kevin Youkilis. As you say, has a very high OBP, slugging pct., plays a Gold Glove, record-setting 1B, close to GG 3B, and can play 2d and the outfield in a pinch. IMHO, the MVP this year, and he is a true team player, when he called out Manny in June and got slapped by Manny for his candour (would love to have been a fly on the dugout wall and know what really happened, but after Manny slapped Youk and assaulted the team travelling secretary, I was glad to see Canuck Jason Bay in left field in Fenway actually catching flyballs rather than playing shallow and playing them on the bounce!)

        • Ishmael says:

          And yes, we do owe Patrick Fitzgerald thanks for putting Conrad Black in jail where he belongs – Lord Black of CellBlockHarbour has been committing crimes in Canada since he stole and sold exams to classmates at Upper Canada College, but kept getting away with it. Worst. Canadian. Ever.

  20. masaccio says:

    bmaz holding onto the Prediction Prize:

    The other game that is really interesting is the Titans at Ravens. Both have not good, but great, defenses. Both fairly conservative offenses. I like young Chris Johnson better than Magahee at this point though, and that should be the difference. Titans go to 5-0. Masaccio had them at 5-0 already last weekend, but he gets it for real this weekend.

  21. WilliamOckham says:

    This is about as far off-topic as you can go, but this is a trash-talk thread.

    I need a reality check. I’m sitting here at home on a lazy Sunday afternoon, dressed in my usual after church attire, shorts and a T-shirt extolling the virtues of my favorite programming language. I just finished reading Michael Chabon’s Gentlemen of the Road [which, if I might digress from this digression is an absolutely first-rate adventure story that I bought on Juan Cole’s recommendation]. The doorbell rings and there’s this well-dressed woman at the door. Turns out she’s a financial advisor, making cold calls in my neighbor. Is this normal? A sign of the current financial crisis (or the apocalypse, if there is a difference between the two)?

    I’m used to giving the brush-off to the inevitable magazine salespeople, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and kids raising money for the cause du jour, but what are you supposed to say to a financial advisor? I mumbled a hasty, “I’m kinda busy and not interested.” I feel bad, though. I take pride to letting folks down easy and creatively. I’m glad I took the lady’s card or I might decide I’d dreamed the whole thing.

  22. rosalind says:

    yikes. the sons also rise:

    nicholas montana (son of joe) – QB
    trevor gretzky (son of wayne) – QB
    trey smith (son of will) – wide receiver

    all playing for oakes christian school in so cal.

    click on small photo of the three to see how scary similar nicholas’ style is to his dad’s.

    • bmaz says:

      Um, you forgot one. We have a young freshman redshirting this year at ASU that will be fighting for the starting quarterback job next year as the current starter, Rudy Carpenter, is a senior and will be graduated.

      Jack Elway. His dad was okay too.

      • Neil says:

        John is one of my all-time favorite All-American Quarterbacks. What an athlete, college and pro. You think Jack understands the game growing up and watching his dad play it?

      • rosalind says:

        i was going for the whole “playing at the same school” thing, but gladly accept your variation on a theme.

        spent my high school saturdays on those hard-assed wooden benches watching john-boy and pere in action (inbetween bets as to what politically incorrect theme the Stanford Band would entertain us with at halftime, the Patty Hearst kidnapping homage hard to top).

          • rosalind says:

            i confess i had to check w/wikipedia, which sez the band made a formation of a hamburger with two buns, no patty.

            the kidnapping was front page news for months in the bay area, and my personal recollection is the shock as everyone figured out what the band was doing.

      • Neil says:

        Tough ending, great game. At this point, we could not be better off than to have Lester in game 4. Post season is where the action is.