The Politico Villagers Go Deer Hunting!

elmer-fuddWell, this is exciting! Yesterday on Morning Joe on MSNBC, Mike Allen of Politico proudly announced that he, the managing editor at Politico, John Harris, and Politico executive editor Jim VanderHei all went on their first deer hunt Monday. And, according to Allen, they ALL bagged a large mammal from the Cervidae family.

In plain English, all three of these first time rookie deer hunters managed to take time off from chasing unnamed sources, get dressed, get out of town, track their prey, shoot and kill a real live deer. These are clearly some awesome American Sportsmen!

This would also mean they are such studs that they tracked and finalized the kill on each of the three deer, field cleaned their prey and transported the large carcasses out of the wilds, back to their vehicles, loaded and secured the bodies and drove out of the hunting fields. And they were all back safe and sound at home in time to get a night’s sleep and be in a studio at the crack of dawn to do Morning Joe! Astounding!

All it took was a few hours apparently. These guys must be damn good, because when I was younger, I used to deer hunt with three older men that were knock down dead eye pros, we went for 3-4 days at a time to open the season, and never had the kind of success that beginners Allen, VanderHei and Harris did in seemingly just a few short hours. My coonskin hat is off to all three of them; this is a truly impressive feat.

I am kind of shocked they didn’t run into Dick Cheney, kind of sounds like his type of “hunting” expedition. But, as Allen’s face did not have buckshot oozing from it, I guess not they did not encounter Deadeye Dick. I tried emailing and phoning the three intrepid hunters for more details of their safari, but they failed to return contact.

Fortunately, in an Emptywheel exclusive, we were able to obtain video of the grand hunt!

34 replies
  1. scribe says:

    Sadly, there’s something so appropriate on so many levels about Villagers going on a canned, success pretty-much guaranteed hunt and then bragging about their prowess. A clear shot to see the center of what passes for their souls.

    • bmaz says:

      It may not have been, I do not know; but from everything I know, and I have been deer hunting, pulling this off in basically an 8-5 business day or so in a normal hunt, when you never been before, is simply unpossible.

      • scribe says:

        I have.

        I have been hunting since the mid-70s (though not every year, for all sorts of reasons).

        I have seen a lot of deer over the years, but never in season.

        My deer rifle is old enough to be electable as President at the next election (and, unlike my shotgun, is a native-born ‘murcan) and has not lined up on a deer.

        I’m not alone in that experience; a friend’s father spent every season of his entire adult life hunting deer unil Parkinsons’ and age ended it, and he never got one either.

        There is no f’g way these guys all went out on the first deer-hunting mornings of their lives and all capped a legal deer. If they truly hunted fairly against wild deer and were this sucessful, they should have spent their luck on lotto tickets instead b/c they would have no further need to work and could have spent all their time hunting.

  2. dakine01 says:

    Yeah there is no feckin’ way these a**hats did a real deer hunt. I’ve known too many experienced hunters who looked upon the first day of deer hunting as a national holiday, who would take the first week of the season as vacation time, and who were hunting lands they had hunted since they were kids and they still felt they were lucky if they actually got a deer.

    These guys probably went to the petting zoo and killed some tame bambi and even then had to shoot multiple times (I mean, seriously, I’m supposed to believe these guys actually killed their own deer? I was born at night but not LAST night.)

    • Professor Foland says:

      When I was a callow lad, in grad school in upstate New York, rarin’ to go on some or other project in late October, the lab manager patiently explained to me about the technicians’ schedules: “Around here, there are three holidays we have to plan around: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and deer season.”

      • PJEvans says:

        Where I was in west Texas, it was pheasant and dove seasons. People didn’t get a lot of the pheasants, either.

  3. hieronimo says:

    Quite often first timers hit other hunters. “Pst, something moved over there””Over there?””Yeah” Bam. Aaargh. Oops. Sorry. Won’t do it again. No I guess you won’t. So these guys are real lucky. Did they have pix with their camos and stuff. Deer hunting can be like ski-ing in Colorado. Sometimes the trees fight back.

    • bmaz says:

      Heh, no kidding. You know, the deer are not all that excited to get shot, and they are very perceptive and very fast. They are just not all that easy to shoot; it takes skill even when you are experienced, know how they move and know what you are doing.

  4. Waccamaw says:

    Given the three individuals involved, one could speculate they were taken by limo to some hunting preserve where the owners staked the deer to a target five feet away, stuck a gun in their hands, aimed it for them, and the *hunters* got to pull the trigger.

    Oh, that’s alright, guys…..y’all head on out. The peons I employ will clean up the mess…..y’all just have fun bragging about it with scar and the female airhead sitting with him.

    • cinnamonape says:

      I suspect a “deer farm”…that would explain why they all were able to get permits for the same day as well. Probably leveled their guns at a herd and let fly. Had to get at least one. And in fact even if one missed what they were aiming at the shot would have passed through until it hit another. And if one of these bozos aimed high or low…someone else may have had a shot pass through and hit another deer.

  5. LabDancer says:

    This is a remarkably cynical post, even for an attorney. One surely must be generous enough to allow for the possibility the three politicads combined the site’s legendary standard for exhaustive research, with its hourly regimen of testosterone booster shots, arriving at a solution whereby each was pretty much guaranteed his just reward:

    [I think one also must allow for the possibility that the hunting party actually numbered 4, and those who were able to prove their prowess are showing kind restraint for their colleague who missed.]

  6. Teddy Partridge says:

    Why anyone would believe anything Mike Allen says, writes, tweets, or blogs is inconceivable. He is a born liar and ass-kisser. Nothing that comes out of his mouth is true, ever. Being grilled by Morning Joe and his Pet Mika, with their crack journamalism interviewing skills, is unlikely to break Mike’s streak.

    None of it is true. Not a word.

  7. tejanarusa says:

    Thanks for this, bmaz.

    Do you suppose they hope to get cred with their right-wing reader base? Of course, any actual hunter in the audience, like yourself and the others who’ve commented here, will know as instantly as you did that they’re faking.
    I don’t suppose ol’ regular guy Joe Scar expressed any skepticism at their awesome feat?

  8. freepatriot says:

    silly plebes

    never heard of beaters, and dogs, and hunting guides

    all of those things that are available to a young eager village sportsman

    watch Gosford Park, and see what real hunting is like, foolish mortals

    they chase it in front of ya, load the guns, let you blaze away, and then collect and clean what you shot, while you drink bloody marys with the fairer sex

    it’s all very elite and “sportin” an rich

    (evil laugh)

  9. orionATL says:

    The real test of manliness

    From these swells?

    I want to see them cook and eat some part of their deer on “morning joe”.

    I want the camera to be focused on their faces as they taste the iron in blood and other healthy minerals in REAL “free range” animals.

    My personal suggestion is that they return their rifles to the NRA,

    And next time,

    take cameras rather than guns and capture the beauty rather than shooting it.

  10. freepatriot says:

    speakin of hunting

    my dogs think I’m the greatest hunter in the world

    caught a cross rib roast last saturday, and I bagged a turkey an two pies today

    the dogs don’t know who really shot the pies, so mum’s the word …


    • dakine01 says:

      Yep. And most of the hunters I’ve known have nothing but contempt for so-called hunters like this.

      One co-worker in upstate NY refused to hunt during the Lower Tier season (Upper tier hunting allowed rifles and is mostly north of the NY State Thruway; Lower Tier is shotgun only and is a lot of the amateurs out of the city who fire at anything that moves).

  11. fathertyme says:

    Think how many of our brave soldiers we could save if we just tell those 3 musket-ears the Taliban are really deer in drag!
    I’m sure they’d offer their services in a D.C. minute…make that a Friedman Unit!

  12. Twain says:

    I’m from a really skilled deer hunting family and I don’t believe their story for a minute. A hunter is lucky (or unlucky for the animal) to get a deer every 2 or 3 seasons.

  13. OldFatGuy says:

    Well, guess I’m the odd one out here, in that I will defend them…. sort of.

    I live in Northern Virginia (and have my whole ‘cept for military years) and hunted since the 60’s. In the 60’s and 70’s, it used to be a BIG DEAL if you saw a deer while hunting. I didn’t see my first until my 3rd SEASON trying. It started changing in the 80’s, and by the 90’s a season that once upon a time was two weeks long, bucks only, two per year had become several weeks long (Nov- early Jan), with no restrictions on sex and no annual limit. A daily limit of two was in force (which I broke, I’ll explain).

    This was all due to the explosion in the deer population. I went from an experience of being lucky to see one to, by the late 90’s, being disappointed if I didn’t get one. From the late 80’s to early 90’s I killed I dunno how many. At least 3 per year, sometimes more. My son loves the stuff, as do I. Alas, I can no longer hunt now, and am left begging freinds and neighbors. *g*

    But one particular morning has me believing their story is possible. I used to hunt a large field by the woods at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mts, within walking distance of my house. I got out early, before dawn, and it was still and lightly snowing (the best time IMO). Sure enough, not long after the sun came up, a whole herd came out of the woods. Must’ve been at least 20. So I picked out the one I wanted (not too small, but not old, I like the meat, and kill only for the meat) and shot. I didn’t see any fall, so I followed the herd as they ran a bit, and when stopped shot again. Got 1. They started running again, and this time I picked one off while running. That’s my two. Limit.

    Only it wasn’t. I walked up there, and sure enough that first shot was on point too. Three dear. I field dressed all three dear, drug them the 1/2 mile or so back to the house, one at a time, and had them all three hanging and hosed down and finished by 1:00PM.

    So there experience doesn’t sound unreasonable to me. Maybe other than the thing that it was their first time, but who knows, beginner’s luck maybe? Or maybe it was staged like the Cheney hunt. I dunno. I just wanted to say it at least is possible what they say. IMO. Even if they are assholes.

    • dakine01 says:

      But you’re actually making our point. You are an experienced hunter. And you knew how to field dress and deal with the deer.

      These guys are all 3 novices, apparently hunting in or around somewhere that allowed Mike Allen to appear the next morning on the Morning Joe show.

      Again, I’m skeptical that they even fired their own weapons.

      • bmaz says:

        I might even give them credit for firing their own shots, heck, it amy all be legit i just do not know and they did not return contact, but it seems incredulous. The experience part is where I absolutely agree. If they really pulled all this off in such a short time without it being a canned hunt, then they must have had awesome guides and handlers that did most of the real dirty work of hunting for them, because a rookie cannot just go do it like that.

        • dakine01 says:

          And as you’ve noted, shooting and actually hitting the deer is not easy to do. I have no idea of the marksmanship skills of these guys but even in a canned hunt, actually pulling the trigger and hitting what has been aimed at is not an easy task for a novice.

  14. mafr says:

    You can come over to our house (Canada, North of North Dakota) and shoot a couple from our front steps. That might keep them away for a day or two.

  15. aardvark says:

    Couple of years ago, at dusk, we counted more than twenty-five deer grazing in a pasture adjacent to a four lane, divide highway between Wichita and El Dorado, KS. No deer farm, just deer in a pasture.

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