Lindsey Graham Must WANT the Terrorists to Have Kittens and Beard Dye

In the last week, we’ve had two stories about how terrorists at Gitmo have made themselves comfortable.

First there was Michelle Shephard’s investigation into whether Majid Khan has a cat.

A week-long investigation into Guantanamo’s feline affairs couldn’t determine the case for sure.

“No detainees are provided pets, and detainees are not authorized to keep animals, as they present a health and sanitation hazard,” wrote Navy Capt. Robert Durand, the director of Joint Task Force Guantanamo’s Public Affairs, in a lengthy response to my cat query.

“Wild animals often carry diseases and pests such as rabies, lice, mites and other infections.”

However: “Recreation yards are surrounded by security fences that keep detainees in and unauthorized people out, but small animals can and do squeeze through any gaps.”

Durand’s emailed response goes on to describe the island’s wildlife: “The Cuban Rock Iguana is a protected species, and banana rats and feral cats lack natural predators, so these populations thrive in the areas immediately adjacent to the various camps.”Yes, but does Khanhave a cat?

“We do not discuss the details of any individual detainee.”

And now there’s Carol Rosenberg’s story explaining that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed hennaed his beard with berries and juice.

Tuesday, Army Lt. Col. Todd Breasseale said in response to a five-month-old question that Mohammed “did craft his own natural means” inside the prison camps to concoct his self-styled beard dye.

“I don’t have his exact procedure,” Breasseale said, “but can confirm the use of at least berries and juice to create a kind of harmless dye.”

We paid Halliburton a lot of money to build this prison–and still shell out $800,000 a year to keep terrorists there. But apparently Halliburton couldn’t even keep feral cats out?

I’m guessing Jose Padilla doesn’t have a kitten in Florence SuperMax. And even when Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was held at the local minimum security prison in Milan, he didn’t show up in court in a camo vest and dyed beard (he asked to wear a Yemeni dagger, mind you, and he looked too young to grow one, mind you).

So I’m beginning to think that Lindsey Graham and all the others that insist terrorists must be held in Gitmo rather in the real prisons in the US want the terrorists to have kittens.

Upate: h/t to joanneleon for alerting me that, by my spelling, I tried to kill KSM’s beard rather than color it.

12 replies
  1. joanneleon says:

    I saw that story about the cats at Gitmo and the question of whether one detainee had a cat (info which came from a letter from another detainee, I think) and thought it was a really strange story. Gah, let them have a cat if they want. I guess that makes me a terrorist sympathizer.

  2. joanneleon says:

    omg, Marcy look at this story. Sorry for the off topic. Not that this is all that surprising but solid evidence of it is. And the name of a program: Create and Capture. And the AP has the text messages.

    Informant: NYPD paid me to ‘bait’ Muslims

    Shamiur Rahman, a 19-year-old American of Bengali descent who has now denounced his work as an informant, said police told him to embrace a strategy called “create and capture.” He said it involved creating a conversation about jihad or terrorism, then capturing the response to send to the NYPD. For his work, he earned as much as $1,000 a month and goodwill from the police after a string of minor marijuana arrests.

    “We need you to pretend to be one of them,” Rahman recalled the police telling him. “It’s street theater.”

    Rahman said he now believes his work as an informant against Muslims in New York was “detrimental to the Constitution.” After he disclosed to friends details about his work for the police — and after he told the police that he had been contacted by the AP — he stopped receiving text messages from his NYPD handler, “Steve,” and his handler’s NYPD phone number was disconnected.
    The programs were built with unprecedented help from the CIA.

  3. What Constitution? says:

    Cats. For my money, Monty Python had it right about cats. In fact, I think there’s something in the Geneva Conventions somewhere about subjecting prisoners to cats. Just another reason to close Guantanamo – whatever works, in my book. Although I’m sure Marcy’s angle — suggesting favoritism for prisoners at Guantanamo over other those in other American prisons — will be a more effective argument for closing Guantanamo so, again, whatever works.

  4. Jim White says:

    As someone whose kitten has been missing for over three weeks and whose beard looks like it has been attacked by a herd of powdered donuts, I fully expect Lindsey Graham to inform me that all my problems can be solved by “moving” to Gitmo. I think I’ll stay put, though.

  5. bsbafflesbrains says:

    Are we talking kittens or cats cuz there is a big difference as Ogden Nash pointed out “The trouble with a kitten is that;
    It eventually becomes a cat!”

  6. angry bitter drunk says:

    Well obviously if these cats are cavorting with terrorist masterminds they can’t be allowed in the U.S. animal shelter system. It’d be a media circus.

  7. Snarki, child of Loki says:

    This opens entirely new vistas for LOLcats.

    I hope Graham realizes the forces he has unleashed.

  8. What Constitution? says:

    @Jim White: There’s something really satisfying in the idea that powdered donuts travel in herds. That’s been my experience, now that I think about it. Thank you for that.

  9. Jeff Kaye says:

    I am so glad that Michelle Shephard and Carol Rosenberg are right on top of these crucial breaking stories from Guantanamo. Too bad kittens and henna beards, movie nights, etc, get in the way of reporting on the fact DoD admits forced drugging of Gitmo prisoners, including prisoners who were interrogated. Or that “chemical restraints” were used on prisoners there. Or even report on the questionable use of drugs like mefloquine or scopolamine that were administered to all detainees.

    Maybe Shephard or Rosenberg are working to dig deeper on these stories, like what drugs are used for “chemical restraints”, or how many prisoners were forceably drugged. Nah. I don’t think so. Neither has said boo on any of this, except for Rosenberg who tweeted the govt conclusion that no “mind-altering drugs” were used to “facilitate interrogations.” Used in any other way, Carol? Oh, you’re too busy checking on how KSM colored his beard.

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