Kitties Eat Cardinals and Leave the Guts as a Gift on the Doorstep!!!!

This is a stub for what will at some point become bmaz’ Trash Talk for a week in which our normally hapless teams face each other when it matters. Let’s see if he notices…

“Don’t you play it no mo.”

Huh. Still hasn’t figured out.

This Cash is for bmaz who’s really more of a Chevy guy than I am.

Post is gonna get long.

Mixing it up cause I apparently have all day.

And now, Burt Ives!! (But don’t swallow any cats.)

Oops. That’s not nice emptywheel!!

At Peterr’s suggestion I’ve swapped out the Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Adding Muschamp Love in honor of Jim White. May the Replacement Coach Sweepstakes begin in earnest!

I will count the ManningLemonSuckingFace after pick flowers. Bwahahahaha!

159 replies
  1. P J Evans says:

    Our cats always left the front half of the four-legged dinners. The winged stuff usually was left as some feathers and smears of blood in the garage cupboard where the cat door was.

    • Elliott says:

      I on the other hand/end get mouse butts. At least this cat is not bringing them inside to farm overwinter, like my late lamented Sweezie.

      • P J Evans says:

        Yeah, we got tail ends too. And then they’d bring them inside, alive, let go of them, and expect us to catch them. Sometimes we did…but not always. I remember a ground-squirrel (aka chipmunk) that we had to chase out of the house. (Clerk at hardware store, as my mother is buying traps: ‘If you got a cat, you wouldn’t have mice.’ Mom: ‘If I didn’t have a cat, I wouldn’t have mice.’ The only way for them to get in was the cats carrying them; harvest and after was ‘frisk the cat’ season, when we’d open the people-door to see what they were carrying before we let them in.)

      • dakine01 says:

        At one time, Crazy Shirts in Hawai’i had an exclusive deal with B. Kliban to do T-shirts with his cartoon cats on them. I still have the T-shirt with the Troubador Cat, sitting on the bar stool singing, “Love to eat them mousies, mousies what I love to eat, bite they little heads off, nibble on theys tiny feet”

    • P J Evans says:

      My mother was always thrilled to open the door into the garage and find a ‘present’ of half a critter on the mat – they weren’t necessarily mice, because Harry and Sammy apparently did tag-team hunting for baby jackrabbits. And then someone would get to take the mat out and dump the remains into the ditch next to the county road.

      I wonder if bmaz has recovered yet from last week’s wingding with the chunky porn stars.

  2. scribe says:

    Yet another reason dogs are superior to cats. If they turn into mousers and actually catch something, the mice die and stay outside when they no longer work as squeaky toys. OTOH, my dog hunts and points cats; cats hold really well, better than pheasants.

    Very exciting for my dog.

  3. Peterr says:

    It’s mice-catching season around here, as the weather has turned nippy and the field mice from the meadow behind our back yard seem to want somewhere warm to stay where they can try to chew through bird seed bags and other stuff.
    But if we want these mice caught, we’ve got to do it ourselves. (Kitteh allergies at La Casa Peterr prevent bringing in the experts.) I’ve caught three this week . . .

  4. Jim White says:

    One generation of kittehs prior to our current residents, I found one of them asleep on our bed. I thought at first that he had barfed there, but on closer inspection, there was a critter next to him. I assumed it was a trophy kill and got quite a surprise when it took off running once I tried to pick it up. Turns out that it was the cutest little flying squirrel. It appears that the cat had brought it inside and they merely curled up for a nap together. Same kitty wound up bringing in at least two more (or perhaps the same friend two more times?) over the years after that, without ever harming one. Oh, and those flying squirrels may be cute, but dang are they fast and a challenge to catch. Cornering and dropping a Tupperware over them turned out to be the winning strategy.

    We went to the season opener for Gator basketball last night. Much to our surprise, Cousin It was there and is a Gators fan. The game went well and the Gators look poised for another great tourney run. Zach Hodskins made it into the game for the final minute or so. He missed his only shot but was a huge crowd favorite.

    My football angst continues. Treon Harris is developing into a tremendous QB and the team is playing with a lot more confidence. But a win over Spurrier’s hapless birds suddenly has the team bowl-eligible with only a pattycake team and then the Seminoles left. My nightmare of the Gators winning out to save Muschamp’s job is looking more and more like a possibility. FSU has been eeking out wins in improbable ways. They could lose tonight at Miami, but somehow I know deep in my heart they’ll still be undefeated when the Gators go into Tallahassee. An 8-3 regular season finish with wins over Georgia and FSU would definitely keep the Muschamp curse going. Even worse, a win over South Carolina coupled with Georgia losing today to Auburn and Mizzou losing to Tennessee and one more SEC team actually puts the Gators in Atlanta for the SEC championship game. Whouda thunk?

    • dakine01 says:

      My previous feline companion woke me up at about 2AM one Saturday morning pacing next to the bed going “mmph, mmph, …” I leaned over and turned on the bedside lamp as she jumped on the bed and dropped the mouse (still living) she had in her mouth. All three of us jumped in different directions. Took me about an hour to finally corrall and kill the mouse and get it away from her.

      Just saw the Gators give the game away to the Ol’ Ball Coach and the ‘Cocks in the Swamp. Now seeing the ‘Cats doing their best to give things away to the Vols in Knoxville. At least the Hilltoppers took care of bidness against the Cadets in Bowling Green today.

  5. bmaz says:

    I would like to note that I actually met Burl Ives once. He lived down the street from a friend on Eucalyptus Hill in santa Barbara. Was always outside doing his own yard work and would talk to anybody that stopped to chat. Wonderful guy.

  6. Peterr says:

    Someone harshed Rex Ryan’s mellow at the end of the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS victory over the Stillers last week, and he did not take it very well. He gets the big upset victory, along with a $100,000 fine.
    This raises an interesting question: what’s the referee’s handsignal for “illegal use of profanity”? I imagine it is something with an upraised middle finger.

        • Peterr says:

          I’m not sure I’d brag about having self-serve Miller Lite.
          Also, this kind of makes a mockery of the official Lambeau Field information on alcohol (emphasis added):

          Alcohol cannot be brought in to or out of the stadium. The sale of alcohol is limited to two per customer per purchase, with all sales ceasing at the end of the third quarter. Any person purchasing alcohol who appears to be less than 30 years of age, must present a valid I.D. No alcohol will be sold to intoxicated guests, and we reserve the right to refuse the sale of alcohol at our discretion. If you choose to drink, please do so responsibly.

          Unless they’ve hooked up a breathalyzer to that machine, they’re serving everyone who swipes a card.

  7. emptywheel says:

    WTF MS ST – Bama?

    I unexpectedly dug up my jerusalem artichoke today (damn, they’re prolific–I think I’ve discovered the perfect food for the apocalypse!) as well as picked up all the frozen tomatoes and the winter beans. Which means I’ve been fiddling in the kitchen trying to figure out what the heck I have. Expecting all the while that this would be a game. But …

  8. bmaz says:

    1) Support Muschamp Love. That loss is on the lame ass punter.
    2) Roll Tide!! Hope they beat MSU by fifty. So the Pac can move on up!
    3) Peterr is the man today. His Fighting Journalists are playing the Domers tough. And his secondary Jayhawks are rocking and chalking so far on TCU. So much, so good.
    4) Okay, so the Journalists and Jayhawks are not going to win by the time the games are over. Still, gotta love the effort.

  9. emptywheel says:

    Making a “all the shit that froze in the garden” stew–though not with j. artichokes probably.

    Plus my meat farmers have been making cottage bacon, and they saved the ends for me. That’ll go in too.

    • scribe says:

      To hell with that. It’s time for Batman

      This week, Joker is getting parole, getting picked up by Catwoman Eartha Kitt in her Kitty-mobile.

      • CTuttle says:

        *heh* Will Big Ben shine on Monday nite, scribe…? ;-)

        Zona’s much beleaguered kicker actually booted a game winner over the Huskies…!

        Too bad Dak threw so many picks, it would’ve been their’s…! ;-)

    • Peterr says:

      Four field goals (31, 46, 45, and 41 yards!), a 65 yard INT return that led to a TD on the next play, and a blocked PAT run back for 2 points surely brought tears to the eyes of Touchdown Jesus. Meanwhile, the Jesus who hangs out with the poor and oppressed (aka the FJs) was surely smiling.

      • CTuttle says:

        Do you think your Devils will prevail in Cornwallis, bmaz…? Btw, my woeful Bows finally won a road game, snapping a 17 game winless streak in San Jose, 13-0…! Woo-Hoo, they’re on a roll now…! ;-)

    • Mauimom says:

      Oh, CTut, living in Hawaii is NOT time zone challenged [except for the need to turn on the tv at 7 am for games]. You get done when the sun is still up, and since NO games are “local,” they aren’t blacked out.

      I’m now back on the Mainland and lamenting the loss of DirecTV. We couldn’t get it here, and it’s too expensive anyway. But I miss it. Lots of time spent on Sundays in sports bars.

        • CTuttle says:

          It’s the rest of the world that is time-zone-challenged, not Hawaii.

          *heh* True dat, Rev, we have no tangible concept of time, ‘Hawaiian Time’ consists of whenevahs…! ;-)

        • Mauimom says:

          Yes, all four chows traveled from Maui to DC [two different sets of flights]. One got to stay overnight in LA because he nearly chewed his way out of his crate, and the airline folks had to keep him and find him a secure crate.

          Upon his arrival at IAD, he was recognized by the cargo people there as the dog who’d escaped onto the tarmac six years earlier on his way TO Hawaii. My son had had to go down and chase him down in a golf cart.

          Yes, it appears the salon on Hastings will be rescheduled. Trust Bev; she does wonders.

          • CTuttle says:

            Upon his arrival at IAD, he was recognized by the cargo people there as the dog who’d escaped onto the tarmac six years earlier on his way TO Hawaii.

            *heh* That’s too funny, MM…! ;-)

            Bev’s the best, I swear…!

      • CTuttle says:

        Btw, MM, I’m totally bumed that the Lake experienced a massive DOS attack shortly after the opening remarks for the Hastings’ Book Salon…! 8-(

        Bev did reassure me that it was being rescheduled…! ;-)

  10. CTuttle says:

    Dang, the SEC stir-up in their rankings, with Auburn losing to the Dawgs, and the Hawgs beating LSU, it should be mighty interesting to see how it all shakes out…!

  11. SomeCallMeTim says:

    Beavs taking the lead in the 4th is a new one — they’ve been heartbreakers late in too many games after looking good early. I’d love for them to put together a whole game and beat…well, at least the quackers.

    /s/ UO alum

      • SomeCallMeTim says:

        It’d be nice – it would help Riley keep his job ( he brought OSU out of a 25 year depression, and deserves a statue, if not life tenure), but just beating the Dux would probably keep him safe.

  12. SomeCallMeTim says:

    As to kittens, with indoor cats (due to neighborhood coyotes), the only prey we get is socks dragged up from the laundry.

  13. phred says:

    My my, spend a day cleaning the basement and look what I miss, more detailed vermin anatomy since my high school biology days. Ick ; ) I have to hand it to you folks though, it isn’t often I find myself grateful for my pet allergies ; )
    Funny thing though… we spent yesterday cleaning the basement because our town now offers the opportunity to recycle styrofoam, including packing peanuts, twice a year. Having spent many years moving frequently, the hubby and I got in the habit of keeping a stash of moving boxes and packing peanuts in the basement, but it seems we are settled now, so decided to recycle the peanuts and the boxes. Turns out the combination of cardboard and styrofoam are the preferred materials for mouse latrine needs. What a mess. Thankfully, no tiny mouse remains, just an astonishing amount of mouse poop.
    By the way, handy tip for you mouse chasers… Fill freshly emptied half gallon container of ice cream with water, set it in a sink overnight, and you’ll catch your mouse…

    • emptywheel says:

      You mean one grows out of the “hoard the boxes” disease? How long do you have to be in one place before it happens?

      Also, as to your better mousetrap, don’t the mouses drown? Cause Mr. EW insists on catch-and-release-at-some-remote-spot-on-freeway-on-way-to-work except in real desperate straits.

        • emptywheel says:

          Only if you insist on listening to every single video here every time you refresh. Otherwise you should be safe.

          • bmaz says:

            By the way, has anybody noticed that I (no, I am not sure how…) yesterday placed the Packers drunj fans thumbnail at the top of this post?

            • phred says:

              I appreciated that pic bmaz (drunk Cheesers), but am keeping it quiet… Brat bandoliers are bound to catch on and that might just attract more vermin than mice ; )

        • emptywheel says:

          Mr. EW also catch and releases bugs in the house. He’s not a buddhist (as far as I know), but he could be.

            • emptywheel says:

              WIth the mice (we haven’t had any in the new place but had a ton just after the pub downstairs closed in the old 150 year old factory building), he was sure to drive them miles and miles away.

              Not so much the bigs, but then our bugs aren’t quite so dangerous as yours. With the late cold, we didn’t even have bad Squitos last year.

            • phred says:

              Bear in mind, that insects up here in the north are small enough to not be charged with breaking and entering when they cross your threshold, unlike in your neck of the desert. I’m with Mr. EW, I favor catch & release for all but mosquitos. But, I can see your point, if we had bugs that could carry off the furniture I might be less benevolent ; )

      • phred says:

        Well, I suppose I should confess… the hoard the boxes thing is likely permanent, but we were storing them in a spot that may soon hold a wood pellet bin if we finally take the leap and convert our old steam heating system from oil to wood pellets. We’ve been here 13 years and aren’t planning to go anywhere any time soon so we figured we might as well recycle the peanuts, rather than find a new corner for them, and as we started putting the bags in the car discovered that spot had been used for more than just storage. At that point, the boxes pretty much had to go, too ; )
        As for the liquid mousetrap, you are correct, mice are not endurance swimmers, but since the conversation upthread was mostly about mouse remnants and general eradication, thought I would mention it. After the floating-mouse-in-the-sink incident, I sent the Mr. out to get a Have-a-Heart trap, which he baited with peanut butter and that worked, too : ) That adorable (and unsettlingly fat) brown mouse was then escorted to a lovely new home in a nearby woodland : )

        • emptywheel says:

          Admittedly, the male harem head who lived in our dryer exhaust for a while figured out how to get the peanut butter without tripping the trap.

          Appears to be what the Cardinals are doing too.

      • phred says:

        P.S. Out our way the raptors have recovered sufficiently that I think a marginally-domesticated mouse would be be doomed if abandoned along the interstate. Just sayin’ ; )

  14. bmaz says:

    Alright you mopes, I saw something way upthread (maybe Tuttle?) asking where the usual idiotic non-trenchant analysis and predictions I provide are. I think we can all do without that nonsense in a separate post for a week.
    Jeebus. I stayed up until like 12:45 am here watching ASU piss their playoff and season hopes down the fucking dirty toilets in Corvallis. For those of you on the east coast, that would be 2:45 am. Man, the Beavers, I just don’t know. I mentioned previously that Corvallis has long been a historical trap for the Devils, but jeez.
    Fuck it. You reap what you sow, and there are, despite the big win against the Domers last week, a LOT of reasons ASU has been sowing this. You have to take advantage of opportunities when they present; if you don’t, and ASU did not, then that is on you and your coaching. And there is MUCH to question in ASU’s coaching. I would happily give Todd Graham to Jim’s Gators. Take him while he is kind of hot!
    As to predictions for today, I think Detroit will similarly give the Cardinals a wake up call. The Big Toaster is underrated for how tough of an environment for a road team it is, but the stars just seemed aligned here in Phoenix this weekend, for a variety of reasons (including the Devil’s collapse). Make no mistake though, the Cards have a hideously tough schedule to the end of the regular season, so today is critical. I sure hope they come to play, but the Kittehs seem to have finally turned the corner of disappointment, and I pick them in a close game.
    As to the other big games today, I am praying the Chefs and Gents take out the Squawks and Niners respectively, but won’t bet on it. The Chefs are the better bet, if there is one. I actually think the Iggles at Cheesers is the best game of the day, but it seems downstream in the national discussion. Sanchize versus Rodgers, hmmmm. As to the Pats at Colts, and I KNOW this is crazy, but I am taking the Colts in a for real upset.
    I do hope Mr. and Mrs. Wheel are wearing their Number 11 Spidey Fitzgerald jerseys today.

    • What Constitution? says:

      What? Montis steakhouse in Tempe is closing for good? Too bad, that place had “revered institution” written all over it and it served a pretty decent steak the one time I was there last year, though it did seem understandably a bit tired after what, 750 years in the same location? If it reopens as an El Torito Grill, however, I’ll be sadder still.

    • emptywheel says:

      See, I think the Cards will win this. Nothing seems to stop them and losing Palmer won’t either. Kitties seemingly important wins (save the Pack) were against people who turned out not to be all that good.

      I also think you might be right abt the Colts.

      Hope I’m wrong on both counts, of course.

      Ryan Mallet seems not to be doing all that great on his first start. And don’t tell anyone, but actually rooting for the Sparty-Brady backup over the Wolvie-Brady backup.

      And I think one reason the Iggles aren’t getting the attention is bc 1) it’ll be at the Tundra, now with snow 2) We’re due some butt-fumbles.

    • Peterr says:

      The Chefs have stuffed the Squawks, and have moved into a first place tie with Denver.
      I think Andy Reid or someone else in the clubhouse made a big speech after the World Series saying “The Royals fought hard, the city is behind them right now, and everyone is talking baseball. But that won’t last. This is *our* town, and when they put down their bats, everyone is going to be looking at us, hungry for a Winner. We are going to be that winner.”

  15. bmaz says:

    No, 30 floor skyscraper and condo towers being built there, although the original adobe structure will be somehow preserved (not sir how or for what). Still, very sad. There is not a lot of truly “historic” places in the greater Phoenix area, and this was one of the greatest and most historic. Plus, while they were never quite Durants or Ruth’s Chris, the beef and food at Monti’s was always still quite good. I will miss it greatly. I will likely do a post on this at some point in the next few days.
    Also, you were here and did not ping me up?

  16. What Constitution? says:

    They built a skyscraper around and above The Original Pantry restaurant in LA, and it worked out OK. I was in and out of Tempe to watch Stanford play baseball at ASU, which was fun but I guess I didn’t want to impose on the locals while wearing that hat. Next time.

    Today I’m still basking in the recently-recognized MLB MVP haven that is the Greater Los Angeles Area, home to Clayton Kershaw and Mike Trout. It’s been a good week here, even having been leveled in the playoffs. Don’t need no steeking local NFL team (but soon, maybe).

    • bmaz says:

      Hey, despite the passion among most folks here, i don’t care about any of that. Next time here, let me know. I assume you were in Packard Stadium on ASU campus for baseball. That is going the way of the dodo too.

  17. P J Evans says:

    That’s what traps are for. (Stepping on them, period, works, but it’s a bit crunchier than I like.)

  18. phred says:

    So I know the rest of you are watching the Putty Tats toy with their meal, but just in case you’re interested… Clay Matthews just had a spectacular sack holding the Eaglets to a field goal. I know the Packer defense is just trying to get my hopes up, but I can’t help myself, here I am feeling hopeful : )

  19. Bay State Librul says:


    That lying sack of shit (i.e. Clemens) will be found guilty in New York when the birds start chirping in the spring.
    Rusty should advise the Rocket to settle his defamation suit, the fucking bully says he’s not interested in the Hall of Fame……………
    The Post described his deposition as “squirrely”

    From the Times,

    “Later in the deposition, he contended that he was already part of Cooperstown despite his rejection in the balloting. “As a full-fledged player, I have articles and great stuff in the Hall of Fame now,” he said.

    Emery said the deposition, which he called a “home run” for McNamee, left him confident that the defamation suit would succeed if it went to trial.

    “A Brooklyn jury is going to consider Clemens completely delusionary and not believe a word he says, in my opinion,” Emery said. He also maintained that the different standards of proof in criminal and civil cases made it easier for McNamee to prevail over Clemens in a trial.”

    • bmaz says:

      Listen, I know how much you hate Clemens. But, in my opinion, the Rocket is a saint compared to Richard Emery. And, that goes double for that self serving two bit piece of shit Brian McNamee.

      • Bay State Librul says:

        Big difference: McNamee may be a shit-head, but he knows he is a shit-head; Clemens is a pathetic liar but does not know he is pathetic….

        I rest my case, Roger “defamed” Brian through his power brokers…..

    • emptywheel says:

      They’re both historic. We won’t be able to judge them until they retire. And Peyton has had the blessing of almost always having coaches who didn’t ask him to do with less.

      But it’s hard to argue w/Peyton’s records, especially if neither gets another ring.

  20. phred says:

    Never did I ever imagine that I would see Julius Peppers do a Lambeau Leap : ) Peppers looks great in Packer colors whether green or blue ; )

    • emptywheel says:

      Your Pack is blowing up the score every week just in case it’s a tie at end of season (it won’t be).

      • phred says:

        Now EW, I wouldn’t write off your Kittehs too quick, they’ve pulled out some nail biters and with the Cards playing as well as they have, keeping it close in AZ isn’t bad. Should be fun later this season : )
        By the way, at one point they showed some of the Packers sitting on a bench in front of what looked like a wall of snow : ) The season is just gonna get better and better (talking snow here scribe, not reveling ; )

        • emptywheel says:

          Oh, the Kitties got their D back on track today. Just some holes in the line and I’m not yet sure our Lombardi OC is gonna beat your Lombardis on O.

          Still, whatever wildcard goes through the NFC South is in decent shape.

            • emptywheel says:

              As I recall Snot Nosed Kid Down the Road 1, Rodgers 0.

              He has beaten him. At Lambeau, no, who’re you kidding?

              Can we talk abt how the Cardinals needed not one, not two, but three dubious calls to beat purring little kitties?

  21. phred says:

    Goddammit, this is the SECOND time that fucking network FOX has fucked out-of-market Packer fans. I have DirectTV, but they won’t carry games shown on local channels. This means the Pack is blacked out on DirectTV and now I can’t watch it on the local station either. I don’t give a fuck that it’s a blowout, I want to watch my favorite team, win, lose, or draw, no matter what. Those bastards! I HATE FOX.

    Arrrggghhhhhh… DirectTV needs to revisit the local channels bullshit in their next contract.

    • scribe says:

      Faux just dumped the Iggles-Pack game out of mercy and the desire to show their audience a competitive game.
      For the dissatisfied Pack fans, keep in mind that reveling in an asswhipping usually leads to bad things in the next week or so. The Football Gods are watching.

      That, and the Kitties’ runback on that punt was frickin’ awesome. Nice heads-up play.

      • phred says:

        True enough scribe, but I’m not reveling, I just want to see the game : ) The reveling over Peppers was akin to a Yankee fan cheering a Johnny Damon homerun, that’s all ; )
        I’ll go back to limiting my conversation to mouse poop…
        Looking forward to your Stillers tomorrow night… I certainly hope they are not upset by TN, after Denver today, I can’t afford to lose any more points in my pool ; )

      • phred says:

        Thanks bmaz : ) Fox induced football apoplexy has to fall under the “high crime” category, right??? It is most certainly NOT a misdemeanor ; )

  22. CTuttle says:

    Dayam, it looks like the Kitties are done with that Spidey catch for first down…!

    My Donkos got a real wake-up call today, Lemon-Sucky face spent way too much time on either his back or on the bench…! 8-(

    • phred says:

      Thanks for the tip! Great summary by Stoller and an interesting thread. I need to pick up a copy of the book…

    • phred says:

      Because we thought it was yours ; P
      BTW, the Mr. has started following you on twitter… Just want you to know he has already started pestering me to make him a roasted hazelnut pear cake. Told him I can’t read fine print any more ; )

      • emptywheel says:

        Ut oh. Can send it in more readable form. You need it? The hazelnut cake by itself is awesome but add pears yummmmm!

        • phred says:

          I have to admit it sounds really yummy, so if you could pass it along, it would be fun to give it a try : ) Thanks!

      • bmaz says:

        But HE WON’T follow me?? This is sexist! I mean just cause my blog partner has cute red hair and an American flag and whatnot in her avatar, how could he not want to follow the world’s most dickish finger flipping cactus curmudgeon??

    • bmaz says:

      NOOOO! You were never supposed to know about that site! Although I did steal several pictures from it last year.

      • Bay State Librul says:

        Both owners of this site should apologize to Tom.

        Thinking that Luck would outplay the Pats?


  23. Bay State Librul says:

    Where the fuck is Gronk tonight? Blocking, I guess….

    Plenty shades of Gray, but Brady looks off his game….

  24. phred says:

    Well BSL, looks like BilBel will continue the roll he’s been on since heading to Cincinnati ; )
    ‘Night all…

      • phred says:

        An old chum is as big a Pats fan as I am a Pack fan. We plan to watch the game together, so I’ll be in full Packer regalia for the occasion, cheesehead and all ; ) I’ll send you a cheesehead to wear too, if you like ; )

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