McCaffrey the MilleniaLab’s Trash Talk

[This week’s Trash is by an esteemed guest poster, McCaffrey]


Hi there fine humans that inhabit and visit this here blog! My name is McCaffrey, and I allow Mr. and Mrs. Wheel to live with me in my house. Now, much like the grand Norma Desmond, I have always been “ready for my closeup”. And, baybee it came today! Like butter, I am on a roll.

Yes, you probably have seen by now the feature story on meeeee that Newsweek Magazine came out with today. Yes yes, there was also mention of my mom, Emptywheel, but I was the star of the show. All teh bitchezz are gonna want to date meeeee! Also, I LOVE jerky and pizza.

Well, enough about me, I hear we are supposed to talk trash here. I love talking trash. Even more, I love rummaging through trash. Oh, wait, I am getting word that is a different kind of trash. Jeez, all these rulz. Alright, let’s see what is up then.

One of my favorite people in the world is my lawyer, bmaz (he gives me jerky! WOOF!), has his Sun Devils down in Texass at the Jerry Dome to play the Blighted Irish. But, no, that is not the biggest game. The biggest student athlete game is the Fighting Journalists of Northwestern, versus those pernicious Sweatervests from THE Ohio State University. This is the biggest game in Evanston in a very long time and I think even the ESPN Game Day crew is there. OSU is a favorite by 7 points on the current line. I am pulling for the Journalists, but wouldn’t bet real money on them.

The other tilt of note is the aforementioned ASU Sun Devils and Notre Dame. Number 22 ranked ASU is 4-1, with their only loss to Stanford on the road. The Devils had an abysmal first half, but outplayed the Tree in the second half. Still got whacked. Hard to tell if ASU is for real or just lucky (and man were they lucky against Wisconsin). The Irish have two losses and fell out of the top 25. Still, their losses were to Michigan and Oklahoma, both nationally ranked teams. I have no idea what will happen in this game, but it should be a great one to watch. Also interesting is the late night Saturday Pac-12 conference matchup of Washington and Stanford. The Huskies have a nice team this year under Steve Sarkisian (who may well bolt next season for his old haunts at USC), but they don’t have enough to overcome the Tree.

In the Pros, we have already seen the Browns move to 3-2 with a win over the Bills on Thursday night. But they lost their sparkplug Brian Hoyer for the year to an ACL injury. Brandon Weeden, who had lost the starting job to Hoyer will have to lead them now. He did well against the Bills though. Game of the weekend has to be the Lions at Lambeau to meet the Cheese. Good luck with that, the Kittehs are 0 for their last 22 visits to Titletown. Don’t think the breakthrough is coming this year either. Lot of noise about Denver in Dallas, but, man, Peyton is on fire. Dallas has always been a thorn for Peyton, but hard to see it this year.

McCaffrey rawhide receiptSeattle at the Colts should be a great game. Lot of folks had the Colts dropping off this year, but they are really good once again. Luck versus Russell Wilson. Game on. Both teams have great QBs and both have punishing running backs. Indy is good on D, but I think Seattle is enough better to carry the day. Pats at Bengals could also be a good game. Bill Bel and Brady are getting their groove back though, so I will ride with them (also, they are Mom’s team, so WOOFF!!) Iggles at Giants….Hahahahahaha, jeez who cares anymore? Chefs at Titans also could be decent game. I’m going to take Alex Smith and Andy Reid here, they are just too steady.

This weekend is also the Korean Grand Prix. Yeongam is not a bad circuit, especially considering the boys just escaped the ugly Marina Bay in Singapore. Vettel and Red Bull already pretty much have the crowns locked up, the jousting behind them is all there really is of interest left. And Alonso looks pretty firm in second place for that matter. By the way, Sebastian Vettel is turning into a bit of a consistent dick. Weather outlook is improving from possible typhoon status, but still could be dicey.

And, finally, baseball. Divisional playoffs are in full swing, and all the series are looking interesting. Hard not to root for the Pirates.

Well humans, that is it for my guest star role here. Remember, I LOVE cute girl dogs, pizza and jerky! Oh yeah, the music, ahem, what else did you think a black dog would play??

Wildcard Weekend and Battleship Potemkin Trash

Sometimes you see things that just make you shake your head and say “what the hell is going on here?

Here we are at the start of the NFL Playoffs – the always thrilling, and often surprising Wildcard Weekend – topped off by the Saturday night special featuring the Detroit Kitties first return to the playoffs since the late 1990s. And Marcy is going to be getting her culture on at a staging of Battleship Potemkin.

Say what???

Yes, you read that correctly. We have here a playoff game with two, count em two, 5,000 yard passers. Yep, while all the focus down the stretch was on Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady, Matt Stafford quietly put up one hell of a season and eclipsed the magic 5,000 yard barrier. In short, he has been great and along with a semi-healthy MegaTron Johnson, gives the Lions a puncher’s chance tonight. One other thing about Stafford, while he did give up 16 picks this year, 9 of them came when he was struggling with a protective glove over a broken index finger. That has mostly resolved and Stafford was money down the stretch. Also, the Kitties have their defensive backfield back to full strength with the return of Louis Delmas and CB Aaron Berry. The Saints are, of course what we thought they were. Flat out bad ass nasty good on offense led by the field general Brees and Darren Sproles chewing up ground. The Saints’ O-boys can get some game on, but their defense is not what it was in the Super Bowl run two years ago.

I won’t bet any money on it, but the Lions are more than capable of winning this game over the Saints, and it should be a LOT of fun to watch. Well, that is, assuming you are actually watching the game and not Battleship Potemkin! Which brings up the collateral damage problem. McCaffrey. You see McCaffrey LOVES him some football, and must be in the throes of despair at not being able to watch the Kitties and Saints like other rational American dogs. McCaffrey, seen at left during happier times, is considering filing a lawsuit for emotional distress. Soon as he puts his paw print on the contingency fee agreement, we are off!

The early game on Saturday is Bengals at Texans. If the Texans were at full strength, this is not close. But Matt Schaub is done for the year and Houston is going with rookie TJ Yates, who has a bruised up left shoulder, with Jake Delhomme in reserve. Andre Johnson should play, but is clearly still fairly hobbled. Linebacker Mario Williams also out. Houston really backed in to the playoffs with three losses to close out the season, but do have a great ground game. The Bengals did not exactly light it up down the stretch, but did really shows signs of maturing as a team, and Andy Dalton looks very much like a professional QB rather than a rookie. Edge to the Bengals.

The early game Sunday is Dirty Birds at Gents. If this game was in Hot’Lanta, I think it is not even close. But in NY (okay New Joisey), it is a tossup. The Giants defense seems to be gelling at just the right time and the running game is coming around a little. Atlanta despite the stability that should come from the air/ground combo of Matt Ryan and Michael The Burner Turner, has tendencies to be flaky. Probably all comes down to whether Good or Bad Eli shows up. Bet here is that it is Good Eli and the Giants boasting is correct, they are going to be a tough out in the playoffs.

The late game Sunday is, of course, The Tebowl. Stillers are gonna go pay their respects to Baby Jesus at the Mile High Mount. Probably won’t be much actual respect shown though. Big Ben is gimpy, and Ryan Clark is staying home because of the altitude and his sickle cell issue. And the Steelers have other health issues and blah, blah, blah. They are still the Steelers and Tim is still Tebow, great heart and no arm. Is it possible for the Broncs and Baby Jesus to pull off a shocker and win? Sure, but not damn likely.

This will in all likelihood also be the designated Trash post for Monday’s BCS Championship game. Not much to discuss there, we have already seen this game, it is just that the craptastic BCS is making us watch it again. Both are excellent teams, and both have killer D’s. But, just like last time, the slight edge goes to Honey Badger and LSU.

Throw down some Trash people!