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No More Mr. Perfect Guy; Colts Take A Dive

I am sorry, but I have to be blunt here. Somebody high in the Indianapolis Colts organization is a pussy. It is just that simple. If that offends you, sorry; but this is football and you have to man up baby. People have the gall to be yanking on Brett Favre for refusing to come out of a game that has important implications late in the season when the outcome is seriously on the line; but it is okay for the Colts to sit down Peyton Manning like some kind of delicate debutante in a game that had absolutely gigantic implications on the entire AFC playoff race? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

If I sound incensed; I am. I do not necessarily point at Peyton Manning for this unethical lack of manhood; but he is not off scott free. You think Brett Favre would have sat down for that shit? Hell no. Think Joe Montana would have? Nuh uh. Johnny Unitas or Bart Starr? Get out. But we don’t even have to look that far; you think Vince Lombardi would have backed off and put the taxi squad on the field like the Colts did? Hell no. And neither did Bill Belichick when the Pats were in the same position and had a chance to win the last games to stay undefeated.

But not the Indianapolis Colts though, oh no. Guess we should have known after the way the gutless wonders slithered out of Baltimore in the middle of the night under the cover of a snowstorm because they did not have the guts to be honest with their fans. Clearly they still don’t. Meet the new Irsay, same as the old Irsay.

How could the Colts so neuter their players? How could they steal the hopes and dreams of their fans and season ticket holders? If there was ever a man, a quarterback, built for this run it is Peyton Manning. The man works his ass off doing film study, repetitions and drills, both by himself and with his receivers and backs, all year long. Next to Brett Favre, the man Read more

Trash Talk: Patriots Have A Strange Kind Of Mascot

Sports mascots are ubiquitous. College mascots are a tradition I suppose, irrespective of redeeming value, but pro mascots – with the exception of the San Diego Chicken, the Phoenix Suns Gorilla and, maybe, the Philly Phanatic are totally lame. Seriously. Then there are those big headed sausages the Milwaukee Brewers have. Are those even mascots?

But mascots, like Tiger Woods, are only human. They have indiscretions:

A prostitution sting in Rhode Island netted an unusual John, or, rather, an unusual Pat—as in one of the men who plays Pat Patriot, the huge-foam-headed mascot of the New England Patriots. Robert Sormanti, 47, was among 14 charged; there was no indication he was wearing his costume when busted.

And this:

Pat the Patriot, beloved mascot of the New England Patriots and inspiration to Boston-area children since 1960, has been arrested in a prostitution sting. But it gets worse: Evidently Pat was caught answering a naughty ad on Craigslist. Placed by a policeman in Rhode Island.

Rumor has it that local prostitutes called Pat by his other nickname, “The Revolutionary Minuteman.” They did not mean it as a compliment.

Ouch.

See, now this is the problem with the media in today’s society; it is so shallow. Where is the discussion of the extreme team spirit of Sormanti and his willingness to get “up” for the big game against the Panthers? Bill Bel does not lose three in a row does he? Read more

Trash Talk: I’m An Excellent Driver Edition

Well I woke up this morning and got myself a beer
The future’s uncertain and the end is always near
Let it roll, baby roll, let it roll all night long.

These are strange days indeed we live in. One minute it is a quiet peaceful day after Thanksgiving, not even the sound of sugar plums and OPR reports dropping, and the next thing you know all hell is breaking loose in the Woods. Tiger goes Rainman driving in the driveway, and Elin Woods shows she’s got some game with golf clubs too. Go figure. You knew it couldn’t be long before Gloria Allred and Mark Geragos were involved. Ugh. The Woods family, sadly, will all be crawling from this wreakage for a long time.

But there is, thankfully, football to occupy our time, so let’s get to the games.

Student Athletes: Right now, and in my backyard, my ASU Sun Devils have just lost, via a late game moronic muffed punt, to the hated UofA Wildcats in what, at one time, was one of the best and nastiest rivalry games in the entire country. No longer, strictly ho hum now. Another game that was always huge, but has lost some luster is Trojans v. Bruins, which is a late game tonight (Fox Sports here). It may not be what it used to be, but very well may be an interesting game tonight. By the way, both TCU and Boise State are going to finish undefeated; I say put em both in BCS bowl games; these are good teams and they have earned it far more than some SEC team with two losses, and more than any flunky Big-10 team.

National Favre League: Again, there area a bunch of simply lousy games not even worth discussing. But the good ones have a lot to chew on. First up is Pittsburgh versus the Ravens in Baltimore. The big news here is that Big Ben is out, not going to play because of concussion symptoms. When Roethlisberger himself is making the call, you know it is real, he is a tough dude. So Dennis Dixon, who was a legitimate Heisman candidate, if not frontrunner, two years ago at Oregon before he hurt his knee, will get the start. He is a great athlete and can throw the ball, but has almost zero experience; ought to be interesting. The Ravens are desperate and have to have a win, but have not been playing well. This is a tossup, with the slight edge to the Ravens.

Peyton and the Colts at Houston is notable too. Can the Colts stay undefeated? Can Houston win a big game at home? I’ll take the Colts. Da Bears visit Old Man River in the land of the Norske. The other really interesting game, however, is the Cardinals visiting the Titans. Kurt Warner looks fine in spite of the hit last week, so the Cards look to be at full strength. The Titans have been resurgent with Vince Young though and are back to playing Jeff Fisher football. The Titans are on a mission, the Cards have the division pretty much wrapped up already because the NFC west is so pitiful. I’ll take the Titans in an upset.

By far the biggest and best game this week is the Monday Night affair down in the Big Easy. If I had more dollars than sense, I would head down for some hurricanes at Pat O’Briens and a 48 hour partay ramble. You know the Who Dat nation is going to be amped up and ready to geaux. This has the makings of another Dolphins/Bears Monday Night game from almost 24 years ago to the day. With only the Redskins, Falcons, Cowboys, Bucs and Panthers left on their schedule, if the Saints can overcome the Pats, they very well may run the table. The Pats are really rounding into form at the right time of the year. You knew they would. Most importantly, the New England defense is gelling. Couple that with a healthy Wes Welker and Brady getting back to the QB he is capable of being, and, well, you just cannot ask for anything more out of a regular season game. As Keith Jackson would say, “folks, this is gonna be a good un”. Drew Fookin Brees and the Who Dats are at home in the dome; give them a microscopic edge.

Alright, that is the slate; what ya got? Been kind of quiet here the last couple of days, time to make some noise fellow knuckleheads!!

Talkin Turkey Trash

Here it is, another big bird day! That means football and we have some trash to talk.

Some Preliminaries: ESPN has been reporting that the Buffalo Bills and Mike Shanahan had a seven hour sit down, and there is serious interest on both sides; we shall see. In other Bills news, Jim Kelly thinks Trent Edwards is a nice guy, but is why the Bills are finishing last. Notre Dame has cancelled all of Charlie Weiss’ recruiting trips, that were already set up for after the Stanford game that ends the season. Not a good sign; put a fork in him and carve him up, this turkey is cooked. Oh, and former Eagles offensive lineman Jon Runyan is going to run for Congress in New Jersey – just as soon as he is through joining the Bolts for the rest of the season. Clearly more worried about himself and money than learning issues and actually doing the dirty work of being a politician, he ought to be the perfect Republican.

The Games: First up we have Cheesers at Kittens. Young Matthew Stafford’s willingness, make that determination in the face of his coaches, to get in for the last play of the game last weekend versus the Brownies, and win the game with a TD pass on the last play earned him the team, and its respect, for good. He was already the man; but boy did that seal the deal. He is a stud and threw for 422 yards and five, count em five, TDs last week. Stafford has a hurt non-throwing shoulder; if he can’t go, which is likely, Duante Culpepper will get the nod. The Packers also had a big win over the 49ers, but lost Al Harris and Aaron Kampman for the year in the process. The Pack’s O Line is getting healthier, and not a minute too soon for Aaron Rodgers, who has takin a lickin and kept on tickin this year. This should be a surprisingly good game, especially if Stafford can go.

Next up is da Rayduhs versus the ‘Boys. Yeah, I dunno what to think here. Both these teams are infuriating. Oakland has a great defense and should not have been nearly as lame as it has been on offense. They have some players, I just think Jamarcus Russell has been a lead weight around their neck. But he is benched, and Bruce Gradkowski is at the helm now, and they are responding. Dallas, on the other hand, is 7-3 but has just sucked. Seven godamned points against the Redskins? Come on man. The Cowboys need this game though, because the Giants might be waking up. It is in Dallas, the ‘Boys usually win Turkey Day games at home, so I will go with them. If this game was in Oakland I wouldn’t though.

Last, but not least, we have the aforementioned Gents traveling to Mile High to visit the Donkos. As RanDiego keeps saying, the Broncs really need to think about wearing them striped socks and butt ugly unis for the rest of the year; they are a good luck charm. Two things are crippling Denver lately; Kyle Orton is hurt and they got nobody else (Simms is nice, but really sucks) and their new defense has been seen and schemed now. Most of all, Brian Dawkins, the key and soul to the D, has been hurt with a neck injury. Dawkins should play, if he is up to speed, that makes a HUGE difference. Still, Eli is feeling better with his foot and the Gents are coming around. I’ll take them tonight.

In honor of turkey day, how could today’s music not come from the Yardbirds? Happy Thanksgiving folks, and my thanks to one and all for being our friends and partners in the never ending expedition that is Emptywheel.

Trash Talk: Even Al Qaida Is Pimping The Cheesers Over Favre

Oh this is beautiful:

It seems that the Brett Favre-Green Bay Packers saga is such a worldwide phenomenon that it’s being used by detainees in American military camps.

According to a military official, detainees at a Wisconsin National Guard camp in Iraq are using Brett Favre as a manner of getting at the guard troops there.

“They know Favre by name,” said First Lieutenant Tim Boehnen, who is from New Richmond, Wis.

“One of the big words they know now is shenanigan. They’ll constantly talk about ‘Favre shenanigans,’ ‘He’s so good for the Vikings,’ and ‘The Packers have got to really feel bad about that one.’ ”

According to Boehnen, it started when troops there started decorating their camp in Packers colors.

Heh. I wonder how you say Ted Thompson is a big fat arrogant idiot in Arabic. And I wonder how the Cheeseheads respond; it’s not like there is much they can say back to the creative and pesky detainees in light of the ass whuppin Favre and the Vikes have laid on them twice. Even on the hallowed Frozen Tundra of Lambeau. Ouch.

In other tangential football news, Obama has been chucking the pigskin on the White House lawn with Drew Fookin Brees (thus today’s musical selection “They Call Me The Breeze”). From USA Today:

President Obama is exercising executive privilege to get youngsters off their butts, and to urge all Americans to volunteer for community service.
In a TV spot set to run on Thanksgiving Day, viewers will see New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees zinging a pass to an unseen player. As we look closer, we realize the receiver is actually President Obama. The playing field is the White House lawn. The defender is Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu.

The 90-second public service announcement is a joint effort between the NFL’s Play 60 campaign to fight childhood obesity and the president’s United We Serve public-service effort.

Pretty cool, and a worthy cause too. Football on the lawn at 1600 Pennsylvania; somewhere JFK, RFK Read more