Don’t Fuck With The Ducks Trash Talk

I have been flattened like a bug in the road by a steamroller. Holy crap Batman, that Oregon jizzle shizzled on the Devils in Old Town Tempe last night. Like a nuclear tsunami plague earthquake. This year’s ASU Sun Devils have talent, and newly instilled discipline. They are not yet deep, but they are good. So, while I had some concern as I went down to Sun Devil Stadium THREE hours before kickoff to tailgate party like a rockstar, hope abounded in spite of the fact the Ducks are who we thought they are. Unfortunately, the Ducks were, and are, the number two team in the country. Put Down The Duckies baybee.

Hey Romney, keep yer Mitts OFF of Sesame Street and PBS!

A corollary point: My local NPR radio station is KJZZ in Phoenix, and they are doing pledge week currently. My guess is all NPR stations are as well. These folks kick ass and take names in a large way. They do so because of you, their listeners and supporters. If you can, help them out. It truly is a worthy cause. And, remember, Mitt Romney would cut their hair like a weak classmate. Because that is who Mitt Romney is.

Holy fucking shit. Have you seen the Quackers on teh TeeVee? You have NO idea just how fast their skill players, on both sides of the ball, are; nor how technically sound and quick both of their lines are. I don’t know if they can beat Alabama or not, but, man, they are something.

So, as I mentioned earlier, I went to a tailgater – uh – a little ahead of the game. Times have changed since we used to lug, like ancients with pyramid building blocks, a keg up Tempe butte. Now we roll like big dogs into a covered parking deal in reserved spaces with a custom designed tailgate rig. The pictures are attached for reference. Just to be clear, this gig belongs to my old roommates from college, not me. I actually gave up my 48 yard line seats about 7-8 years ago, about the same time I gave up my cherished Suns season tickets. After a while, it was too much effort, and way too much money.

But, I gotta say, it was one hell of a good time by one and all. I would like to make a quick, no-trash, point. Look at the canopy cover on the parking area where we were tailgating. That same canopy cover covers more area than some small towns. Know what it is? Yep, that evil solar energy. That’s right, ASU and sister university U of A, are both huge into the scourge of right wing mental midgets everywhere. The array of ceiling cover for out drunken binge produces huge clean kilowatts every day of the year for one of the six largest universities in the United States. Not bad.

Cause I know y’all were concerned about teh technicalities, yes the tailgate rig had its own generator, giant flat screen teevee (hey, the NFL was on too last night!) and, most importantly, airplane like bathroom as pictured to the right. The expensive jet set bars of Scottsdale are so yesterday, I was in heaven last night.

Alright, enough of this. Suffice it to say, I am focusing on the good from last night. The bad is that the Quackers wiped the Sun Devils’ asses. And then some. And, honestly ASU did not suck so much as they just were outclassed. The final score was 43-21 but, trust me, it was NOT that close. The Ducks still have USC, Stanford and the upstart and surprisingly good Beavers of Oregon State left on their schedule. USC is better than they appear. Stanford is really sound and well coached. Oregon State is shocking people, but Mike Riley is really a good coach. But if any of those have even a candle for the Ducks, I will be shocked. I think Alabama is the one true test and it will be in the BCS Championship.

Okay, I spent my wad last night and must get on to some other matters tonight and Saturday morning. So, the college games of note, and some of these look VERY interesting, are Kansas State/West Virginia, LSU/Texass A&M and South Carolina/Florida (no, Jim White, the Gators are not really the #2 team in the country).

But, wait, there is more!! A shoutout to two friends, Masaccio and Gaius Publius, I like to jabber with them relentlessly, but I truly love and respect both. Because I have so much respect for them, I must be honest: Anybody that thinks Notre Dame is really the number five team in the nation needs their head examined. The “win” against The Tree was as tainted as the Seahawks was against the Packers with the Replacement Refs. Seriously. If the Domers were playing in Provo against the BYU Cougs, I would say watch out. But, not to worry, you still have the Okies and Trojans coming up.

In the pros, look for Skins at Gents (RGIII ain’t Alex Smith boys), Cards at probably better Vikings, Tebows at Bradys and, on MNF, Kittehs at Cubs.

We also got Beisbol in progress. El Tigres have done the universe a favor by putting the light hitting Yankees out of their misery. The Giants, tonight, roared back behind, the once long lost, Barry Zito for a convincing win over the St. Louis Cardinals, to close the series to 3-2. Still, you have to think the Cards are looking good here. I am rooting hard for the Giants, but it would be kind of neat to see a replay of the 1968 and 2006 World Series. I still get goose bumps thinking about Gibson versus McClain and Lolich in 1968. Bob Gibson was one bad ass muthafucka.

There ya go, trash it up home folk.

Dallas Trash Talk

That’s right mofo’s, we gots us a full on food fight here on the Emptywheel blog.

What’s it all about? Well, when you get down to it, it is ALL about Dallas.

No, I am not talking about J.R. Ewing (and who shot him – psssst it was Bing Crosby’s daughter), Bobby Ewing, Sue Ellen, Pamela, Christopher or John Ross. No, I am not talking about that Dallas. Although, I would like to note, the New Dallas premiers on TNT channel on June 13th and, all things considered, it looks very appropriately oily and greasy just like the original Dallas. And, I have to confess, I loved the original Dallas. In fact, my roommates and I had the most awesome tux & tails “Who Shot JR” party you can imagine when I was in graduate school in Boulder. It was a certified event in the Boulder social scene of the day. The trailer for the New Dallas is to the right. Get used to it, there is likely to be more of this!

But that is NOT the Dallas I am talking about here today. Oh no. No, the Dallas I am talking about here and today is Dallas Escobedo. Most awesome champion pitcher for the Arizona State University Lady Sun Devils.

That would be the Defending NCAA Champion ASU Sun Devils. Thank you very much.

And, as luck would have it, Dallas and the Devils are back in the hunt for the 2012 College Softball World Series. Tonight they play their first 2012 Super Regional game against Louisiana Lafayette at – oh wait – that would at Alberta B. Farrington Stadium; conveniently the home of the Lady Sun Devils!

So what about the Emptywheel blog food fight?? Oh, well, you see we now have this SEC interloper guy, Jim White. Honestly, it was distressing enough that I had to share time with an itinerant Big-10, Big-10.2, Big-10.2.5 – hell whatever – woman, but now the Gators are representing?? Well, I just don’t know anymore.

If you are from Alabama, do NOT troll this post! You see, the Crimson Tide (another criminal SEC team!) is, as we speak, playing the Michigan Wolverweenies in another Super-Regional. This is REALLY painful for me. Go Big Blue!

This post will keep reappearing on top of things so long as the Real Dallas, Escobedo edition, and the Lady Devils keep winning. ASU Baybeeee!

Early Christmas Trash: Running With The Devils

Well, you might not know it, but there is a HUGE bowl game tonight! Yes, it is the Grandaddy The All Except All The Others, the Maaco Las Vegas Bowl. From, of all places, Las Vegas! And in this fascinating game, my team, the Arizona State Sun Devils have the pleasure of getting their asses whipped up one side and down the other, by my team, the Boise State Broncos.

We have talked about both of these teams enough this year that there is nothing shocking to report for tonight’s game. Boise is 11-1, with only a one point last second loss to a very good TCU team blemishing their record. Kellen Moore and crew are well coached by Chris Peterson and their defense is bigger and faster than given credit for. The Devils also have a very good quarterback, Brock Osweiller and a couple of excellent receivers. Their running game and middle and deep defense are all very spotty and suspect though. They had good personnel in those areas, but were decimated by injuries in practice before the season started. ASU has a problem with speed, and Boise has got that in spades. The only hope is that the Devils pull one out of their rear for coach Dennis Erickson in his final game. I would not bet a plug nickel on that though. Game starts at 8 pm EST and is on ESPN.

Also tonight is the NFL Network Thursday offering, this week with Houston at the Indianapolis NotQuitePeytons. The Colts are coming off their first win of the year, and actually played a solid game last week. But the Texans have been holding their own and growing with rookie TJ Yeats taking over at QB for the injured Matts Schaub and Leinart. If Indy can play tough defense, they might have a chance at home. But I doubt it, Houston’s running game, led by Arian foster, is too much.

We will likely scare up some new Trash for Saturday’s NFL extravaganza, but for now hoop it up here!

Put Down The Ducky Trash

Is another fine Saturday with a host of great college football games on tap. It’s hard to get anything past the king of sports, ESPN, and they have chosen Autzen Stadium, home of the Oregon Ducks, as the site of their ESPN Gameday. Now there may be a few other college football games going on today, for instance there is a rumor that there is such a game up there in the big mitten of Michigan. But we’ll get to those also-rans in a minute.

The game of the day, in this case actually night, is the University of Oregon versus Arizona State University Sun Devils. Oregon comes into tonight’s game ranked Number 9 in the country and the Sun Devils number 18. I Have said it before, but if you’ve never been to a game at Autzen Stadium, you just don’t know. The place is freaking crazy and loud. They do it right up there in Eugene. The Ducks are the enemy for a Sun Devil fan, but I can honestly say I’ve never been to a more fun, and wild, stadium for college football game. Today, the Ducks have a wounded wing in tailback LaMichael James being out. James is killing this year and had three straight games of over 200 yards rushing going. But today his cleats will likely be filled by super freshman DeAnthony Thomas. The Ducks’ only loss this year is to LSU in the opener, so do not be fooled by their record, they are still big, bad and can flat out fly on the field turf in Autzen.

ASU, so far, has been a curious team. The Devils started the year with absolutely a ton of promise, but have been literally decimated by injuries. The hardest hit has been the secondary, led by stud All Pac-10 corner Omar Bolden. The Devils have an inconsistent ground game, which makes QB Brock Osweiller, who is tall and very good, a target. If the Devils linebackers can contain the Ducks just a bit, and ASU can get a halfway decent running game going, they have a real shot. Those are huge “ifs” though, and I just don’t see it; look for the Quackers to roll. But it would look to be a very entertaining game to watch, and since it is the late national night game on ESPN, everybody in the country can. Go Devils, put those Duckies down!!

Because I need to stay alive for another week in order to turn the Emptywheel blog into ALL BABY JESUS TEBOW, ALL THE TIME, I will also report there appears to be another big rivalry game today; in fact, it just started. That, for those scoring at home (and even if you are alone) would be Michigan/Michigan State. Yep, the Wolvereenies are gonna visit Sparty in Lansing. Big Blue is 6-0 and Sparty 4-1; but Michigan has run into the Green Machine looking good the last few years and gotten taken to the cleaners, thus starting a downhill spiral for the remainder of the season. But the Merlots are helmed by Brady Hoke now, and even though this is in Lansing, it just feels like it is Michigan’s year in this grudge match. The Big Blue defense is gelling a little, although still giving up big points. On the other hand, it is pretty windy, which could turn some of Denard Robinson’s floating passes into sitting ducks. Michigan is also hobbled by Brandon Herron and Marvin Robinson being out for the game on defense. Kirk Cousins is a lot better suited to pass in the wind than Robinson. Close game, but I think the Bo Merlots pull it out and move to 7-0.

I am going to add some more content on NCAA and a pro section in a bit, but this will get folks going for now.

Okay, a few additional NCAA games of interest. Texas A&M is up 24-14 on Read more

Are You Ready For Some Futbol? Special FIFA Trash

Yeah, well, gather round the campfire boys and girls, because this may be the only time you get soccer trash talk out of me. And it took some extreme measures from mom to get it at all. But Mr. Wheel, being Irish and all, has the beautiful game in him and that is enough for me; so here goes.

Tomorrow’s match with England may be, at least in some respects, the biggest soccer tilt the US has ever played; certainly at least in a very long time. The tilt goes off at 1:30 pm EST and 10:30 PST. From NBC Sports:

The bars are stocked across America, and the pubs are getting ready in England. A 70½-foot billboard of Clint Dempsey stands near Penn Station in Manhattan, and there’s even a large poster of Landon Donovan in a store along Piccadilly Circus.

American soccer has never been more popular in the United States or its players more well-known across the world. And on Saturday comes the first competitive match between the U.S. and England since the great American upset at the 1950 World Cup. For one afternoon, millions will be watching from California to New York island. Like never before in the United States, this is the sport’s moment.

Yep, sounds about right. Brits v. Yanks. Old Glory v. Union Jack. The big tilt. If the US is going to do anything in this, they need to get out of the gate early, get the point and get out of group and into the sweet sixteen. That process, if it is to happen, starts by beating England tomorrow. England is a little beat up and a lot cocky; they are ripe. The Yanks must put a clamp on Wayne Rooney and Landon Donavan must step up and Jozy Altidore must hold up. Game on. Above and beyond this opening match, the smart money is on Spain or Brazil taking the cup. Germany is down, but always dangerous; the Netherlands is the hot longshot if you are in a betting mood and feeling loose.

Next up is some real football. You may have heard, there is a bit ‘o shuffling afoot in the major NCAA football conferences. Nebraska has already officially joined the Big-10 Big-11 Big-12. the Colorado Buffaloes have already joined up with the PAC-10. Ralphie and the Buffs hooking up with my homeboys, the PAC-10, is fine by me. I went to graduate school in Boulder for a year and a half; it is a beautiful and wonderful town and university. Gotta love a place where the restaurant in the student union building is named after a cannibal and Vail, Copper, Mary Jane and Breckenridge are all within 90 minutes or so bed to slope. So I Read more